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I Don't Believe in Grace

April 21, 2009

Romans 3:24… ”[We] are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Ok it’s honesty time. I don’t believe that passage. I mean…I WANT to…I REALLY want to….and if I was asked I would say that it is ABSOLUTELY true, beyond a shadow of a doubt…so don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the middle of some sort of faith crisis.

However if I were to just get honest for a moment, and evaluate the actions and patterns by which I live my life, I would have no choice but to come to the simple and somewhat chilling conclusion that I simply don’t believe in grace.

I have no choice in stating this because I see how hard I work to win favor. I see how important it is to me that I am viewed as perfect. I strive to hide mistakes. I strategically block from sight all my imperfections. I play a life-sized chess game, always thinking a couple of moves ahead so that my reputation, my image, my EGO will not be tarnished.

I live under the conviction that I MUST WORK AS HARD AS I CAN…to perfect myself.

I have done this work under many different disguises, I have done it under the banner of “Christian Service,” I have done it in the name of “Love,” “Servanthood,” and even “ministry.”

Yet all of it betrays the same hidden inner motivation that drives me….pride.

Tim Keller observes that “people who find themselves working and striving for God’s approval don’t do it because they ARE SO COMMITTED TO THE GOSPEL…they do it because they aren’t committed enough.”

We work and strive, and push…...because we aren’t committed enough to the gospel of GRACE.

We aren’t committed enough to the Gospel of Jesus which spoke wholeness to broken people IN THEIR BROKENNESS…not in their superficial perfection.

The truth of the matter is that in EVERY person who knows Jesus is a broken heart that has been made perfect by redeeming love…and yet we hide it with a shroud of superficiality.

Now for that one person who actually reads this blog….if your starting to feel like Brian is such a downer let me say this….

This realization is one of the greatest and most joyfully freeing realization I have ever had.

Because THIS DAY….April 21, 2009 I will get on my knees before the GOD OF GRACE, and bask in my imperfection, because in that place I allow the blood of Jesus to fill every crack, patch every break, and make me truly perfect.

And then I will understand a little bit better the REDEEMING LOVE of Jesus.

If you’re ready, I encourage you to stop right now and do the same….I talked to the guys over at the internet and they said they would keep it open until you’re done.

Journeying,

Brian <><

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