News from December 2010

Why the Push Back?

December 31, 2010

Malachi 3:2–3

But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord.

As I read this passage of scripture and try to articulate what I feel His Spirit may be speaking to me…I honestly just need to ask “what’s in my heart, what’s on my heart?”...

Lately, this refining and purifying process that leads to holiness, righteousness and deep growth is something I have found myself pushing back on hard…Sometimes just the thought of picking up my Bible and reading it frustrates me and stresses me out…at times I can feel myself wanting to push Him out, just not wanting to go where He may take me – through the refining and purifying, into growth, holiness and righteousness.

I don’t understand this push back, this stubborness and hardness within myself…I honestly wish that I could always just have a willingness to follow Him and trust Him…that I could say and believe in my heart that the refining and purifying, the working of God in my life is always my desire, no matter how hard and painful at the time – believing that the outcome of righteousness and His glory being revealed is worth it…

I guess I am realizing daily that I cannot will myself to engage in your refining and purifying process in my heart, in my life Jesus…I can’t just choose to believe, can’t just decide to trust you…it is only by you…by your grace. The truth is I cannot endure and I cannot stand alone, on my own with you at work within me. Holy Spirit lay down my defences, let down my guard and please work in my heart, work in my mind, work in my life to do what only you can do.

In your Name I pray, Amen.

Erin

December 30, 2010

Malachi 1:11

For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.

2010 has been a fun year for me and my walk with Jesus, and a significant part of the journey that He has taken me through is a realization that I have no clue just how glorious, how amazing His name is…

I mean I SAY I do…but I also know that if I look at my life, its almost as if I only want God’s glory to be magnificent at certain times in my life…and I ALSO kind of think that the level of Glory he possesses is dependent on me.

Stupid…I know…

But sometimes I try to convince myself that the sin in my life isn’t so bad….which I feel…if I understand the majesty of the Lord…I would never do.

And sometimes I look at the world and I think “If I was God…I would do this different”...which is such a ridiculous thought…but I do it…

And sometimes I look at my life and I think “that wasn’t fair…why would God put me through that…if He really loved me…He would never have done that to me..”

…As if I have a better understanding of love and fairness than the single most powerful, just and loving being in all of the universe.

The truth is…in the depths of my heart…I have a tendency to make God small…out of a desire to make myself big.

And yet Malachi’s reminder this morning was so good for me…just so you know Brian…a day will come…when MY NAME IS GLORIFIED…from the rising of the sun, to its setting, and my name WILL BE GLORIFIED…and WORSHIP WILL HAPPEN…

Just so you know Brian…all of these things around you…every passing second of every day…is inching all of creation towards the day when all it does is glorify the Lord.

And I am so thankful for this…I am so grateful for the journey God has taken me on..

And as we put the lid on 2010 and look to 2011….my prayer is simply this:

That I would see the Glory of the Lord…and KNOW in my heart…the vastness of His love and Glory.

I pray the same for you.

December 27, 2010

Psalm 149:4
“The LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory”

Being humble before God and before eachother is something that brings joy and delight to God. But humility doesn’t come easy. Especially for me.

Being humble is one of the hardest things for me to achieve. I like the be strong, I don’t like to be soft and weak. I would honestly rather be known for how strong I was rather than how humble I was. Sad I know.

I like to be right, and I like people to know when I am right. I deffinatly don’t like to admit it when I am wrong.

I can be very passionate, I like to give my best, my 110%. I like the think that I complete all tasks handed to me with perfection and enthusiasm. I don’t like to give up, or surrender.

Ask me to admit when I am wrong, Ask me to be the first to say sorry, Ask me to humble myself. It is so much harder than that, especially for me: I don’t like to, I don’t want to. Humbling yourself can bring humiliation, and that I passionatly fear.

God, I don’t want my pride to hold me back for the work you call me to. When you call for me, I want to be willing, unafraid, and ready to serve you. Jesus, you suffered the worst humiliation, help me to follow in your footprints: to live fearlessly, boldly and recklessly serving the Most High. Don’t let my fears hold me back from being closer to you.

I love you,
Kelsey

December 24, 2010

Zechariah 12:10

And I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and pleas for mercy, so that when they look on me, on him whom they have pierced, they shall mourn for him, as one mourns for an only child, and weep bitterly over him, as one weeps over a firstborn.

Do I weep when I think of the real reason we celebrate Christmas? Does the thought of Christ coming (God with us) because of His grace, love and mercy, to give His life for me bring me to tears, does it break and wreck me as it should? Or have I made Christmas, in my heart and in my head something that it was never meant to be? Yes, I have always loved Christmas, loved being together and celebrating with family and friends…

But the real beauty in Christmas is Jesus, is the cross…is the gospel.

As I listen to one of my favorite Christmas songs, “What Child Is This?”...I am reminded…and in a very small way I am a little bit broken, tears are brought to my eyes at the reality of what Christmas means to me, what it means for the world.

Jesus, thank you… In your Name Amen.

Erin

December 23, 2010

***Do you ever have one of those mornings, where you open your Bible to the allotted scripture that the reading guide has laid out for you and read it over 3 or 4 times and then think to yourself…“Yeah I’ve got nothin….”? That was this morning for me. HOWEVER…there has been something churning in my head all day…and so I thought I would share my reflections on that instead…hope thats alright. B.

Romans 9:1–3

I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.

Do you ever read a passage of scripture and then think to yourself “that MUST be some kind of exaggeration?” Earlier today I listened to a sermon by a man named Francis Chan and he asked that same question. Isn’t he exaggerating?

I mean really…

COULD I SAY THAT??

Is my heart broken with so much love…so much LOVE for the people around me…that I could honestly say

I WOULD RATHER BE CUT OFF FROM JESUS MYSELF….SO THAT YOU COULD KNOW HIM!!

I don’t think i could say it.

I don’t think my heart is broken for those I interact with….I mean I’m concerned…I may even be slightly bothered by certain lifestyle choices they may make…

But am I ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED IN MY HEART BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM?

Am I on my KNEES before God PLEADING WITH HIM to draw them to Himself?

When I think about my mother…who as far as I know died without knowing the Lord….

Why doesn’t that wreck me?

Why doesn’t that motivate me to make sure that NO OTHER MEMBER OF MY FAMILY…would have to experience the same?

Why am I not broken for people?

Why don’t I LOVE THEM?

Why don’t I have “sorrow and unceasing anguish” for the plight of their souls?

Oh God…have mercy on my heart. It’s cold and calloused. I have grown comfortable with suffering. I have come to peace with those who are lost…staying lost.

God would you wreck my heart again.

Break me for the plight of those around me.

Help me to love.

Help your CHURCH TO LOVE.

Help your saints to have tear-filled eyes again.

Help us to look around at the world…and in sheer desperation fall on our knees before you…and beg for their hearts.

May our salvation no longer a source of pride…providing nothing more than security and sense of superiority….

God we have forsaken love and mercy…in favor of comfort and mediocrity.

Jesus I’m begging you…

Break our hearts.

Help me understand unceasing anguish…

For those of you who read this…please…pray for those in your world. Right now.

I have listened to this song about 25 times today….

I pray that it would do the same thing in your heart that it has done in mine…listen to the words…they are devastating.

December 21, 2010

Psalm 148:13
“Let them all praise the name of the Lord. For His name is very great; His glory towers over the earth and heaven.”

God is powerful and great. Awesome and mighty. Loving, gracious and faithful. He is deserving of all of our praise. Our lives should be a response to His call to worship and glorify Him. All that we are should praise Him. The lyrics of the song “O Holy Night” come to mind; “let all within us praise His Holy Name”.

This whole Psalm is a call to worship. A call for ALL to praise the King. The last couple of passages that I have written my blog on have been about praising our Lord. I find this interesting because it is very applicable to my job as the worship intern. Not only do these Psalms speak to me personally because they remind me that all I am needs to worship my Father, but they also remind me that part of my job is to cultivate an atmosphere in which we can do this. As a worship leader, I am responsible for calling the congregation to worship. As a worship leader, I am responsible for creating an atmosphere in which I can, along with the congregation, respond to God’s initiation. His call to praise and glorify Him.

Father, I thank you for reminding me of how great and wonderful You are. I thank you for reminding me that we were created by You and for You. That we are made to praise You. Lord, let all within me praise Your Holy Name! You are awesome! I love you.

December 20, 2010

“His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the power of human legs, the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in His unfailing love” Psalm 147:10&11

How many times have I tried to serve God and please Him with my actions. There is something inside of me that desired to hear Him say, “well done my good and faithful servant.”

I feel like a little girl, who has been working really hard on on a school project and I just can’t wait to show my father. I want to show him how good I am, and how hard I have worked. I want him to be proud of me. So I run to my father, “Daddy, Daddy! Look what I have done, don’t you like it? See how hard I have worked?” Eagerly awaiting his aproval. It is as if he only glances at my creation and smiles back at me. Like a loving father should, he invites me up onto his lap and tells me how much he loves my work, but then, he points to my heart and says, “my delight in found in here, and when this is focused on the good and true things. It is good to work hard, but the harder you work is not going to change how I feel about you, I love you and it brings me delight when you love me too.”

God, you are my father, and no amount of work can ever change how your feel about me. You love me because you love me, because you love me, for no other reason than that: you love me. Help me to always remember that it does not bring you delight when I try to impress you with all my hard work, that you find joy when my heart is fixed on you. Help me to fix my heart on you today.

I love you
Kelsey

December 16, 2010

What it takes for Change: Acts 6:1–8:3
Who enjoys problems? No one does and yet it is often the problems that God uses in our lives to bring about His desired purposes. But it all comes down to how we face and handle our problems.

Join us Sunday Dec 19 as we take this on!

December 14, 2010

Psalm 146:1–2

“Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, I tell myself. I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God even with my dying breath.”

I read this and wonder what that would look like. It is a statement of such commitment. “I will praise the Lord as long as I live”. That means praising Him when things are tough, that means praising Him when you have hit rock bottom, that means praising Him when things are amazing…. that means remembering to praise Him when things are amazing.

As I read on in 146 it describes the characteristics and wonders of God. How He made the heavens and the earth, how He cares for widows and orphans, how He is a God of justice and will protect you. So my questions is, why is it so hard to praise Him at all times then? Why do we often have to be reminded to praise Him? If He is this God, a God who does amazing things, who is gracious and loving, why do we find it so hard to praise Him all the time? Why do we try to satisfy our desires with anything and everything but God?

Father, I pray that I praise You with every breath. That You are my focus. You are so worthy of all my praise Lord. May I praise you with all that I am; every breath, every action, every thought. I love you. Amen.

December 13, 2010

Psalm 145:16 “You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.”

My question is: what are my desires? Seeing how this verse is from the Psalms, a collection of poems, I know that this verse can not be taken at face value. God is not going to open his hands and give everyone that desires a brand new car, a brand new car. And I sadly don’t see Him paying off everyone’s visa bill any time soon.

Today my heart is focusing on a different desire, a personal desire. I have been created with a hunger to know my creator, my father. He has placed a special desire inside of me that causes me to seek after Him, a desire to know Him more. God has placed many desires inside of my heart that only He can fulfill.

Every woman wants her man in shining armor, she wants a man who can fight for her, who desires her and who loves her. I know I have spent so many years seeking after my “knight in shinning armor” to sadly have my heart crushed and be left disappointed and hurt. It is so easy to fill the void in our heart with worldly things, to focus on things that “numb” our true desires. But it is inevitable, if we don’t satisfy our desires with the living God, we will fail. There is, has always been and will always be only one who can satisfy the desires of the heart: Jesus. When we seek after other things, they don’t satisfy us, they numb us and make our wounds deeper and more painful.

So Jesus, I know I wont be satisfied until I find everything you are. So help me seek after you. Trial and error has shown me that it is only your heart that can satisfy mine. I want to know you more.

I love you.
Kelsey

December 10, 2010

Mark 8:16–21

And they began discussing with one another the fact that they had no bread. And Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” They said to him, “Twelve.” “And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” And they said to him, “Seven.” And he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?”

“DO YOU NOT YET UNDERSTAND?”

I think maybe Jesus is asking me this right now…

I think maybe He is wanting to show me that I so easily don’t see, don’t hear, that I so easily forget His faithfulness. He has and continues to show Himself faithful, completely trustworthy and loving and yet somehow even in the midst of His presence (like the disciples) I don’t see it, I don’t believe it…I don’t understand it.

I worry, I stress, I work myself into such an anxious and distracted state…that Jesus could be screaming “DO YOU NOT YET UNDERSTAND?” and I wouldn’t hear it…

Yes, I have eyes…But do I really see?

Yes, I have ears…But do I really hear?

Do I remember, in the hard? In the questioning and confusion do I remember, do I cling to the memories of His provision, His blessing in the past, do I trust in His promises? Or do I, like the disciples, see my current need, see my current lack of bread in the moment and forget?

My bent is to worry, is to somehow try to carry it on my shoulders or to just give up and give in to overwhelm.

I do not yet understand, I have not yet begun to fathom the depth of the provision of Jesus. Nothing is impossible for Him, I can do all things through Him because of His strength…these are all promises in the Word…promises that I fail to allow to capture my heart and bring me truth.

Jesus, would you change my heart, change my bent to learning to trust and growing in trusting in you.

In your Name, Amen.

Erin

December 9, 2010

Mark 7:8

You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men.

Every now and then I look at my life and I think to myself…why is it that I do the things that I do?

i am positive there are things that I do…that I ONLY do…because I always have.

I sometimes feel as though that this same tendency is affecting the way the church looks, feels and sounds in todays day and age.

How many things do we do simply because we always have?

How many things do we do….that just simply don’t make sense?

How many things do we do…that the Bible expressly says we shouldn’t?

I know that in my personal faith walk I have been guilty of doing, even teaching things that are simply man-made tradition, and if I were to pinpoint it even further I would say that it MOSTLY expresses itself in my relationships with those outside the church…and I guess the question I want to ask myself (and the one other person who reads this) is:

Where is the Gospel in what I’m doing right now?

What would Jesus have to say about how this is playing out?

Do I really need to correct this persons immorality to love them as Jesus did?

Do they really need to stop smoking to love Jesus?

Do they really need to stop swearing?

Would Jesus break relationship with this person simply because of the lifestyle they lead?

I guess I could ask the prostitutes he always hung out with

How many times have I been “about” things that have nothing to do with love?

How many times have I tried to force someone to come in line with what I wanted…and I left the true Gospel on the wayside?

How many times do I need to be reminded…that if a person is without Jesus they are DEAD…their immorality is a secondary issue…

How many times have I neglected the command of God to LOVE ALL PEOPLE…and in its place, placed the tradition of a self-righteous, judgemental, self-absorbed humanity…

That speaks nothing but condemnation?

Lord forgive me for those times…help me to simply love people. No matter who they are, how they talk, or what they do….help just to love.

No alterior motives.

No expectations of moral reform.

Just love.

What could we do if we dropped the expectations?

And simply loved.

I’m not sure what it would look like….but I bet this video gets close.

Enjoy.

December 8, 2010

“Return to me, declares the Lord Almighty, and I will return to you.”
Zechariah 1:3

I read this verse and I’m reminded of the wrath of God. He doesn’t just shun the forefathers of Zechariah or make them suffer, he leaves. I am reminded of the simple truth this morning that my relationship with you only exists because you allow it to. I don’t just accept Jesus into my heart and than move on, I need to be constantly focused on you.

So if I make God angry enough to leave me and discover what I have done and plead for forgiveness, who is there with open arms? It paints this beautiful picture in my mind of God with his arms wide open saying, “come my child.”

Father, thank you for the compassion and grace you continually show me. Thank you for reminding me that you are just. I am sorry for those moments when I take our relationship for granted. The truth is that I desperately need you. Despite all of my imperfections, I come crying to you and you always embrace me. I love you. May you continue to receive all glory and honour forever and ever,

Amen.

December 7, 2010

Psalm 144:1–4

“Bless the Lord, who is my rock. He gives me strength for war and skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my deliverer. He stands before me as a shield, and I take refuge in him. He subdues the nations under me. O Lord, what are mere mortals that you should notice us, mere humans that you should care for us? For we are like a breath of air; our days are like a passing shadow.”

God is my Rock. My Ally. My Refuge. Or at least He should be. I feel so repetitive, but this theme is a reoccurring one in my life. One that the Lord brings to my attention on a daily basis.

I would describe the past six months of my life as a time of refinement. I have said it before but the Lord is slowly peeling back the layers of who I am. He is revealing more of who He is and whom or what I find my identity in. He is in heavy pursuit. He is drawing me in. Reminding me of simple truths that I have known my whole life.

This is one of those truths. Often I do not look to God as my “tower of safety”. As my Refuge. I try to go it alone or I try to rely on others…but we are mere mortals….“we are like a breath of air.” No mortal will ever be strong enough. No mortal will ever bring the same Joy. No mortal will ever love the way God loves. No mortal will ever satisfy the way God satisfies. I cannot go it on my own. I cannot rely on others. As someone who often tries to rely on my own strength or the strength and love of others, I have realized that I need to need people less and love people more. That I need to focus on my Saviour. The only way to truly accomplish this is by God and His truth taking root in my heart.

Father, You are my Rock, my Refuge. No one can satisfy the way you can. No one can bring me joy or strength but you. Father, I ask that You continue to remind me of these truths; that You continue to refine me. That I will be able to need people less and to love them more. You are so good. I love you. Amen.

December 3, 2010

Mark 2:16–17

And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” And when Jesus heard it he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

“I came not to call the righteous, but sinners”...

I used to read or hear this passage and think of myself as being in the “righteous” category and not the “sinners.” So I always felt that this verse was a call or a mandate to go out there and love sinners…

But, as I read and reflect on this today…I see that in this story I am not among the righteous, but among the sinners…

Romans 3:23–24

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

I fall short of His glory daily, hourly, moment by moment. I continually fall back into my own brokenness and sinful heart and so I need Jesus, I desperately need Jesus, and I need to be reminded of this daily, even now in this moment…I need to be reminded of this.

It is only through recognizing my sin, recognizing that I am a sinner, that I can recognize my need for Jesus…And in coming to terms with my brokenness, with my sin and experiencing His grace, His renewing work in my heart and my life…can I come alongside my fellow sinners and truly love them, truly accept them and walk alongside them.

Jesus, I pray that I would never feel righteous in my own eyes, that I would never forget my brokenness and sin and how desperately I need you, and somehow think that I’ve got it all together. Help me to recognize my need for, and dependance on you. Thank you for the cross, for your love and your grace. Help me to walk in these, to love through these today, In your Name Amen.

Erin

December 2, 2010

And they found him and said to him, “Everyone is looking for you.” And he said to them, “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.”

So Jesus and his disciples have been hanging out and sharing the Gospel, and doing the awesome ministry that Jesus did back when he still walked as a man on this earth…and because of this he is becoming popular.

People know him.

In fact…people are looking for him.

That’s a good feeling isn’t it? To be around people we know…people who want to hang out with us, spend time with us…who would search us out…its great to feel known isn’t it?

It feels good to be around those know you….who love you…where you don’t have to put on masks…don’t have to wonder if you’ll be accepted….don’t have to hide behind yourself…

Jesus’ answer – lets go to the next towns.

The next towns…where people don’t know me yet.

The next towns…where they aren’t looking for me…in fact they might not really know anything about me at all..

The next towns.

I like being in towns that I know. I like being in towns that contain people I am friends with…people I have inside jokes with, who smile that awesome smile when they see me…the smile that says “I know you…and I just happen to like you alot too”

I like that feeling.

And yet…Jesus calls me to something more.

Jesus calls me out of my comfort…out of my “zone”....to a place where I am not known…to be among people who maybe intimidate me…

Why?

Because…in the words of Jesus…“thats why I came out”

That’s why He’s even here.

So i guess its time for me to identify my “next towns” – where can I be…where I am uncomfortable…unknown…

To simply love people…to simply share the Gospel of Love…

Because thats why He even came…

Jesus, help me to have courage and boldness to love dangerously. To surround myself with people who think and act differently not so that I can correct them…but so that I can love them.

All this for Your glory.

December 2, 2010

Authenticity 5:1–16

We are all prone to playing games with people around us. However this story of Ananias and Sapphira and their plan of deception within the bride makes us all shudder.
God’s judgment on them is a sobering reminder to us to be real.

Join us Sunday

12.5.2010

December 1, 2010

“The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.”
Psalm 143:3

It is a non stop battle. A fight for my purity. A test of my strength. When I see the word “darkness” in this verse, my sin comes to mind. How often do I commit sins without realizing the consequences? All the time! Actually, every time I sin I don’t think of the consequences or else I wouldn’t sin…right?

We have no idea how sin can effect us and those around us. What to do then? The enemy may pursue me, but God loves me unconditionally and his love covers over a multitude of sins. Love wins. I am in a very real battle and at times it would be so easy to give in. But I can’t, I won’t.

Father, help me to fight the good fight and to bring light into all areas of darkness in my life. It would be so easy to ask for an easier life, but i won’t. I pray that I can be a stronger man. May I walk boldly in your name and may I not attempt to withhold you from those places in my life where I don’t want you to see. I am not alone in this father, To you be the glory forever and ever,

Amen.

This is Love...

Date Posted: May 18 2012 by Erin MacIntosh
The Secure Place.

Date Posted: May 17 2012 by Brian Hawkins
A challenge.

Date Posted: May 16 2012 by Kyle Dyck
Thoughts and Thanks

Date Posted: May 15 2012 by Alecia Klassen