News from July 2010

Consider: The Plan

July 30, 2010

Part 5 of “Consider This”

“…describe the temple to the people of Israel, that they may be ashamed of their sins. Let them consider the plan, and if they are ashamed of all they have done, make known to them the design…”(Ezekiel 43:10)

When I first read this, I got hung up in the middle, right on the word “ashamed” and didn’t really feel like blogging about it; but the more I looked at it, the more God revealed to me the beauty of this passage; the beauty of what He was revealing to Ezekiel. I am seeing that this is a “get it, got it, good” kind of verse; but to arrive at the good part, you have to get it, got it?

Do I get it about my sin or I do I think I am pretty OK with the occasional deviance. I want to say that I really get it about my sin; sometimes I do; but there are many days I think I am pretty OK (that habit of always justifying, you know?) Being that I don’t have to go and sacrifice a bird or animal for my sins, getting blood on my hands, seeing the destruction of a living creature for my wrong-doings, has made me pretty casual about my sin. I can sin against God and man and drive on; sin being a hardly noticeable speed bump: what was that? Oh, nothing.

Because I don’t usually have to confess my sins out-loud to anyone, I can mostly tiptoe into my room and whisper an “I’m sorry” to God and I am good to go. What must it have been like during the “time of the sacrifice” in Israel with all those sinners walking around, carting their offering for only one reason: they sinned? There was no sneaking into the temple. We are the same sinners today; it’s just that only a few of us have to go public.

In the passage in Ezekiel God is speaking through him and saying I ought to be ashamed of my sins, ashamed of what I have done. To be ashamed is to feel shame, guilt, or disgrace. In the Biblical context (as used in Ezekiel 43:10) another way of saying it would be “to be humiliated.”

Wordcentral.com gives a good “word history” of humiliation:

In modern English we sometimes say that a person who has been criticized or humiliated has been put down. We speak as though the person had actually been forced to the ground or made to bow down in front of someone else. The origins of the word humiliate itself also suggest the idea of physically putting someone down to the ground.

Who chooses humiliation? Not I. I also don’t like the idea of someone physically putting me down to the ground and forcing humiliation upon me.

I may have mentioned this before, but a while ago I was reading a book (Excellent read: Leading with a Limp: Turning Your Struggles into Strengths) and the author pointed out that the word “humility” comes out of the word “humiliation.” In other words, really understanding humility usually requires humiliation. At the time, I was walking through a difficult situation and the last thing I wanted was more humiliation; I wanted validation; I wanted relief. But the truth of that statement just landed on me; I know it is true. Arriving at a place of humility isn’t something I could just decide to do or not to do; if during a time of humiliation my hands remain open to God, humble is something I would be a little more of afterward, naturally.

You have to know, I don’t like anything about that process. But after, after there is something I haven’t expected: actual acknowledgment and then, freedom. There is one less thing to try and prove, one less thing to try to impress people with, one less hidden thing, one less layer; I have found, after, that I am standing before God, agreeing with Him about me: “Yes, this is really all there is.” His hand is on my shoulder, and we carry on.

Can I be ashamed of my sins without God being heavy-handed with me? I am thinking about this and realizing yes, I can, but it takes practice. Confession and repentance are both “action words” and I tend to be a lot less action-oriented about my sin. The parenting parallels are amazing. When do you get to the point where you don’t have to tell your child, “at this point you should say, ‘I’m sorry’.” Every time I have to say that, I have just removed the opportunity for sincerity. Shame is not a “repeat after me” scenario. True shame comes from a heart that has felt the cause and effect of sin and is broken up about it. True shame comes when having a right relationship really, really, really matters; it matters more than anything.

Being ashamed/humiliated clears the way for God’s plan to be seen. Looking back at Ezekiel, God has this amazing plan for how everything could work, how everything could look (if you just flip back a few chapters and even just scan the titles you can see how detailed God’s plans are; amazing). He has it all measured out, the vision is so clear in His mind. I believe He has one such plan for me, an ideal future that looks like me following Him and us engaging in something above and beyond the drudgery and pointlessness of a self-serving, sin-filled life.

This is what is encouraging about today’s passage. I think God is standing by and saying, “Just admit it.” As soon as we do so, with humility, He is rolling out the blue-prints to show us what is next. It isn’t that our sin doesn’t matter, that there are not consequences, but God factors those in. He hasn’t given up on us. He doesn’t say, “Once the heat is off, come back and talk to Me.” God walks with us, among our ruins, saying, “Picture this, we could put this here and that there, and you could use this for that…”

God is always wanting to make known to us the design.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 29, 2010

Part 4 of “Consider This”

“You of this generation, consider
the word of the LORD…”
(Jeremiah 2:31 NIV)

My first Bible had a bright red cover; it was thick and heavy, both in weight and content. I didn’t really read it; I just looked at it. I liked the small letters and the tidy columns; I liked the way it sounded when I turned the onionskin pages. There was a feel about it, like it was important, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

This is how it was for many years. Even when I was old enough to understand what the words meant; even when I could find my way around a Bible, I didn’t love it. I loved God, and I lugged around His book, but I could put it down.

Something changed; the word I would put to it is “want.” I suddenly wanted something from that book. I began to look at my Bible as something to be unlocked. I took out some paper; just plain lined paper. I read a verse and decided to talk about it and ask questions of it and write down my prayer related to it. I didn’t exactly address it to anyone but I could see that a conversation had begun between God’s Spirit and mine, and this began to change my mind about the Bible, and it began to change me.

Many years have passed now, and that conversation continues. I can’t explain it but there is something about the pen hitting the page (or my fingers hitting the keyboard) that opens up something in me and allows God to speak to me through His Word, the Bible, which I have come to love.

I never know what I am going to get when I read a verse or a page of verses. Sometimes I think, “There is nothing here for me today,” and something in me responds, “don’t give up so easily.” So I press in and I ask and I think and I pray; I am curious enough (desperate some days) to see how God will show up in places I can’t see Him and then suddenly, there He is; there is the lesson; there is what He wants me to hear.

A lot of people hate writing and the good thing about this whole “exercise” is that it isn’t about the writing, the sentence structure, the perfect paragraph with the beginning, middle and end. It is about what is happening, what is going in to your heart and what is coming out of your thoughts. It is about seeing the thing you didn’t see before, and that only happens when we slow down and write down what we are thinking about.

The precedent for this is all over the Bible:

As God was passing instructions down to Moses He said, “write these words down.” (Exodus 34:27, 43:11)
God told Habakkuk to write down the revelation he was receiving (Habakkuk 2:2)
God told John, when He was describing everything that was to come, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:5)

Of course, the biggest example is the Bible itself. It is the written down interaction between man and God in 66 books that we wouldn’t have if God had not nudged people to write it down.

I have a collection of pages now, my pen hitting the paper, the zig-zagging plot of my life companioned by God’s words. The word of the Lord has met me, guided me, saved me, stopped me, affirmed me, chastened me, warned me, and envisioned me “for the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

I want to paint a realistic picture for those who might read these words.

I do not rise at 4 and find an aesthetically pleasing corner to meditate and contemplate life and the meaning of it (although this sounds nice).
I almost always sit down in the morning at some point (because the rest of the day is crazy) and sometimes I don’t. I try to be disciplined about it, but I am not always.
I usually follow a reading guide (because I like to be forced to look at books/verses I might not naturally choose to read and I love that God knows that I am going to be reading it and has already planned something for me).
I ramble.
I have the messiest handwriting on the planet.
I don’t always finish my sentences.
On some pages in my journal (looking back) I sound like a real idiot. So what. That’s the whole point of the exercise, to see this and to let God lead me to a better way.

Sometimes my times with God’s word is brief and to the point. Sometimes they are long and rambling. Sometimes what I end up with is really beautiful. Often what I end up with makes me realize how much work God has on His hands.

God calls this generation to consider the word of the Lord mostly because the word of the Lord considers us and shows us what we cannot see about ourselves. The word of the Lord is also the way we understand the will of the Lord. God’s word points to what matters to God in every situation and gives us half a chance of actually becoming a little bit of what Jesus desired when He prayed, “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6).

We so often say, “what does God want?!?!” I picture God saying, “I already told you!”

Consider the word of the Lord.

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 28, 2010

We took this picture in Mexico; a tree growing out of nowhere; so out of place. I am sure no one was crazy enough to actually plant it there; it just decided to make something good out of a bad situation.

On another note, it is easy for me to claim, “God is good,” when times are good; maybe God is good, or maybe I just got my own way. What about on a really bad day, is God as good then? This may sound like a rhetorical question; maybe I can’t quantify when God is “the most good,” but Psalm 107 has me thinking. Verse 43 says, “Consider the great love of the Lord;” it happens right at the end of a Psalm that is largely about hard things; a whole list describing very bad human experiences:

The Psalm says there are those who will find themselves in unfriendly spaces;
* Some can’t find home;
* Others hunger and thirst.
* There are those who feel their lives “ebbing away;”
* Some find themselves in very dark places;
* Others find themselves in a state of deep depression.
* There are those who find themselves prisoners;
* Some in a bitter line of work;
* Others are just rebelling, and life is bad because of it.
* There are those who are in a bad place because of bad choices;
* Some are closer to the grave then they ought to be because of foolish living;
* Others are in perilous positions.
* There are people in actual, physical danger;
* Some see no alternatives to the distressing place they find themselves in;
* Others who were successful see success fall away.
* There are those who are humbled and humiliated;
* Some experience actual oppression;
* Others one calamity and sorrow after another.

There is so much pain in this Psalm, summarized for our convenience. Just take one and add real life to it and it stretches out for days, a year, many years; is God good then? Yet, read the Psalm; for every one of these hard things is God’s merciful response.

Psalm 107 seems to be saying, on bad days, in the middle of a mess, God’s goodness is all the more “divine.” His presence in our aloneness is an inexplicable and totally undeserved comfort. His loyalty to us when we have been betrayed, or when we have been the betrayer, is there beyond reason. Verses 1 and 2 say that God is good and His love endures far beyond our current circumstances into the incomprehensible “forever.” These “redeemed,” the one’s who get it about having nothing worth offering, see God’s goodness the most in His forgiveness and in His favor “in spite of” not “because of” our own perceived goodness.

On sunny days, when we are decent people, experiencing our favorite mountain-top, we feel good because we feel good. I guess it could also be said, we think we feel God because we feel good. I am not saying our worship of God is invalid during these heights of inspiration, but the depths prove everything we have read.

Contrary to what I think we think (“hard times test our mettle”), the dark depths aren’t the place where we show up, but where Christ shows up. On these days we cry and finally cry out (see verses 6, 13, 19, and 28); bad days cast a shadow over the stars in our eyes and leave us emptied, staring at what we’ve really made of things; but wait! Bad times allow us to understand something that Job knew, “My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:5)

God joins us so tangibly in our most desperate times. He may seem blurry (what with the tears) but God is in the room; He is rescuing what others see as beyond rescue. He is saving what seems beyond saving. He is using what seems unusable. He will do what He has promised and take possession of every circumstance for His ultimate good purposes. He always has the last word.

Psalm 107 ends by inviting those who want to walk wisely to take note of God’s love from this lens so we really get it about the great, and some versions say the loyal/steadfast/faithful, love of God. The Psalm says, to those of us who have limited experience with very bad days; those of us who have only dipped our toes in the ocean of suffering ought to consider that God’s great love is only made greater on impossibly bad days. Don’t forget.

Here His perfect love sharply contrasts what’s fickle and faulty about us. Here is when we “get it” about our lack of options and offerings and we can receive from Him. Here His goodness comes into clear focus: the green tree growing out of the bare cement wall.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 26, 2010

Part Two of “Consider This.”

I woke up this morning, thinking about things I admire in people and that lends itself well to this morning’s musings. A short list of things I have observed in people and admire:

I admire graciousness
* I admire mercy
* I admire simple courtesy
* I admire a person who can both serve others and still hold their own
* I admire people who choose joy and live joyfully
* I admire sacrifice
* I admire people who make right but difficult choices
* I admire loyalty
* I admire people who conquer something (their own personal Mt. Everest)
* I admire people who extend themselves to others (hospitality)
* I admire people who love and serve God without the jargon
* I admire creativity and creative approaches to things
* I admire people who are not easily annoyed and can smile at inconvenience and people’s little mistakes

Not a complete list, but when I see these things in action, something in me perks up and takes notice. What is it about that person? Why are they the way they are and how did they get there? How did they abandon a more selfish approach to life so that this quality comes so naturally to them?

I don’t want to compare myself to these kinds of people in an envious kind of way, although sometimes I do envy. Sometimes I am frustrated with myself and when it seems the thing I desire is so hard to attain I wish I was more like them. But that is on a self-pity day. On a good day I do compare myself to them in an evaluative way and with a sense of desire that I might also grow, knowing they are steps ahead of me.

There is a healthy approach to considering the lives of others. Psalm 37:37 says,

“Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace” (NIV).

Put another way, “Take note of the one who has integrity! Observe the godly. For the one who promotes peace has a future.”

This passage is saying don’t just glance at a person worth admiring; take a good hard look at their life; ask questions. What do they have that you want; try to figure out what allows them to be that way. Why are they leading an admirable life? What has shaped their morals and values? Why are they able to have healthy relationships? Why are they content? What is going on between them and God? Why are they peaceful? Look intently at this.

Isn’t it interesting that the Bible chooses to say that we ought to pay special attention to those who promote peace? That’s worth asking yourself a few questions over.

I think the Bible would say, don’t just search others, let yourself be searched. Psalm 139 is an invitation to God to come and run an analysis. The beautiful thing about this, from my experience, is that the Holy Spirit doesn’t check you out and leave you with a 100 things you might consider changing. His ways are loving and His timing is perfect and He usually points out the one thing He knows you are ready and able to work on.

Once we know, once we have in our hand a little piece of helpful information, we would be wise to implement those things because that person has a future and so will you; that person’s life will be memorable and so will yours.

Generally, I don’t think people do a very good job of this. There is a difference between being curious about a person’s life and taking that curiosity to another level where you actually make a mental note of something you have heard and have admired; there is another level still where you take that note out and meditate on that thing, juice it, so to speak.

How many times have I written something down and not gone back to it? It is like the grocery list I keep leaving at home on the counter; what good does it do me there?

There are some things I want to leave behind and there are some things I really want to pursue. I really hope that some of these things I will figure out before I am 80, leaving room for things I have not yet thought of. I hope I do change along the way; I hope I really am “more” the person God has designed me to be and not stuck with being stuck.

Who is future me?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 25, 2010

Would I want God to be less than He is? This came to my mind as Brian was talking to us about Proverbs 6:16–19 on Sunday and the challenging topic of God “hating” certain things. Brian asked, does the Bible really mean “hate” when it says “hate,” or is that a loose translation of an idea? Can there be divine hatred? It is an uncomfortable topic when all we can imagine is the kind of dark hatred that leads one to harm another.

Walking through Scripture (as we saw today), the Bible clearly shows that God can and does hate things, just as we do. The difference between our hate and God’s is: both the reason for and the outcome of most of our anger/hatred is rooted in sin and results in us mistreating or damaging others; but all of God is holy and righteous and what angers Him and the outcome of his anger is righteous, rooted in love and leads to fixing what is broken, not creating more brokenness. God’s response to evil is intense and of equal intensity is His protective, pursuing, abounding love.

Would I want God to be less than He is; less passionate? Having less of a zeal for what is right or less anger over what is wrong? What if God were more polite about addressing evil and would say, “Pardon me, if you don’t mind, could you not…?” What if He used a toned-down word like “it bothers me when” or “I am irritated by;” but hate?

God isn’t mildly perturbed by the things that steal, kill and destroy His handiwork; He hates it. God experiences and expresses OUTRAGE with a thundering “How Dare You?!”

God hates what has poisoned and perverted what was meant to be perfect. God hates what diminishes and excludes and sets up class-systems. God hates untruths and half-truths and the withholding of the full truth. He hates cutting words and abusive behavior. He hates gossip and cruelty. He hates it when people are violated and innocence is stolen. He hates that evil fascinates some and tempts all. God hates division and dissension anywhere and everywhere.

And shouldn’t we? Isn’t there a rightness to that? Don’t we know that we ought to have more of an opinion, more of a reaction to evil?

God’s hate does not lead Him to neglect and abandon (as ours does); it leads Him to invite us to His home. It does not lead Him to turn His back on people (as ours does) but to give us His very life for people everywhere. God’s hatred of the dark leads Him to reveal, and reveal again His light; countless times. He is disgusted at waywardness and where it has led us, and then stepped right into the middle of it to show us the way home.

Do you see the difference between Him and us?

I don’t even know how to really express how that makes me feel. I am in awe of a God who is so angry at all that is wrong, so angry that He hovers over me, watching all my waking and sleeping moments, calling me and calling me to not lose my way. I matter; I matter so much that He has and will again shout “NO” to wickedness and all that is foul and loathsome. He hates that this world is hateful. He hates that we take free-will and make life a living hell. He hates that every day people hurt people and brother turns against brother.

If you have ever felt violated, it is amazing to think that the God of the universe has felt a world of violation (ours included) to His core and He doesn’t wink at it or accept it. He doesn’t treat it like it is nothing or say that, given enough time, it won’t hurt quite as much. He doesn’t shrug His shoulders or pretend it isn’t there. God hates what ought to be hated and it is the kind of hatred that does not make Him less loving; it makes Him more.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 24, 2010

Consider This: Part One

Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you. (Deuteronomy 32:7, NIV)

One of my favorite family stories is of my Great Grandfather, Abraham Harder. From the time he was young, he had felt a calling from God to establish an orphanage in Russia. He had a heart for children who didn’t “belong” anywhere and were being passed from home to home during a very difficult period of time in that country, the early 1900s. On the pages of our family memoir (from a self-published book titled “Portraits of the Past”) a little of their story is told,

“In 1906 they purchased some property which included a large house, barn and granary, a garden and some land. Later, a large modern school building was added along with a boys dormitory. Eventually they also purchased another farm for the purpose of training older boys farming, gardening, and shop skills. This was a faith venture! They trusted God for the money needed and for the food. The number of orphans grew from year to year until it reached 80 children, during 1921–22″ (18).

Life was so difficult for them. They walked through a severe famine and were, a times, on the brink of starvation; but God always provided for them, just when they needed it most.

The new revolutionary government began noticing the orphanage and forbade my Great Grandparents from teaching “religious instruction” and ordered a communist curriculum. My Great Grandparents refused to comply. So, in 1922 they were told to leave the orphanage and to take only their personal belongings.

I have heard this story many times now and the part that catches me every time is the ending: on the school building, Abraham fastened the word “Ebenezer,” which means “thus far has the Lord helped us.” It is from 1 Samuel 7:12 in the Bible. It was written in large letters, set in concrete, and “When the government took possession of the building, the letters were removed. Yet, in spite of this, the word could still be read, for the letters had been pressed into the concrete” (20).

I love that line. I love that the communists tried to wipe God out of that place but could not, because God was in the very concrete. They would have to actually demolish the buildings (which they eventually did) to hide the truth that God was with Abraham’s family and all those children; and even then they could not because God was in the foundation of their lives and the truth has lived on for generations now.

When I consider the generations long past, even just the ones in my direct lineage, that story continues to speak to me. Has there ever been a time when God has not walked with us? Thus far, no.

My Great Grandfather knew something about conviction and his story can not be told without that character trait. The truth of this, mentors me. I think this is what Deuteronomy is pointing to when it calls us to consider the generations long past; it is the call to glean the lessons of those who came before us for the purpose of mentorship. What did they do right? What did they do wrong? Everything is a teacher; every story becomes a guide for our own footsteps.

Job 8:8 goes further and says

“Please inquire of past generations, and consider the things searched out by their fathers. For we are only of yesterday and know nothing…” (NIV)

It has a bit of a dig to it, doesn’t it? Essentially it is saying, “You’re just a kid; what do you know?” I don’t like being told, “You really have a lot to learn,” and yet that is exactly what this verse is saying. My tendency is to want to prove that I am all grown up; this verse is saying I am a long way off from that.

The problem is, the mantra of our generation is “don’t look back.” We are about advancement. We are about the next thing. We are about the new and the innovative. We definitely don’t want to be told the same story twice. The Bible takes a completely different approach. The Bible is about slowing down, not speeding up. God laughs at our latest time-saving-life-altering gizmos,

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV)

The Bible calls us to pause, look back and remember. There really are lessons that stand the test of time and we ought to know those things and let them warn us, guide us, comfort us, and compel us.

Who should I be looking to?

-The lives of the authors and characters contained in the Bible. Learning from the people described in the Bible is like winning the wisdom lottery. There are 66 books loaded with stories of criminals and heroes; love and hate; faithfulness and waywardness; happy endings and horrible endings. I get the inside scoop of what went right and what went wrong and I get to walk away with the lesson and apply it to my own life.
– The lives of my own family members. Some of who I am has been shaped by where I have come from. Where have I come from? What was important to the people one, two, three generations before me? Who was noble, who was not? Who can I admire, who do I definitely not want to be like? How have they handled the big questions of life and death and family and faith?
– The “others.” Whether you find it in a great memoir, or in a conversation with a stranger, we ought to see ourselves as “gleaners,” always looking for the “moral of the story” in the stories we hear.

This whole process though, requires something of me. I need to step out of my self-contained life and want to consider what there is to learn from generations long past:

1. By being open

Am I open? Or am I a know-it-all? If I don’t think I have anything to learn from someone older than I (living or not) then I will get exactly that: nothing. But if I believe that someone else has something to say to me (this requires humility), I am well on my way.

2. By being grateful

If I am living in a world that I believe is of my own making then I shouldn’t even try to learn something from the generations long past. But if I believe I am indebted to the past, then I will approach this process of listening and learning with a spirit of gratitude, knowing I am building my life on the backs of others.

3. By being patient

I am so impatient. I have realized that the internet has done something to me: it has made me a “scanner.” When I am looking for information, I am looking for a summary of everything. I want whatever it is to get to the point. But learning from those who have walked before us is a slow brew. We need to let it be that. One of my pet-peeves at funerals is when a person’s life is summarized with 10 quick facts. How can that be? That person lived for 80 years and all we can say is where they came from, who they married, how many kids they had and a little about their profession? Tell me their life lessons; no one’s story is ordinary, so tell me what made them unique. I want to know. Again, can’t we sit a while and talk?

5. By asking

People have things to say, but no one asks. How many opportunities have you had to tell your story thus far? I need to learn the art of asking questions because, logically, it’s the only way I will get answers. Don’t just wonder about things in your head; ask.

What is a lesson I walk away with from my Great Grandfathers story? It’s this: would I have words that I would stamp into the concrete? When I leave the building, what’s there that wouldn’t easily be erased? I have my own verse, in keeping with my Grandfather’s convictions, and it has kept me clear for many years now:

“Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV)

I hope I do this; I hope this is the thing that outlives me.

What have you learned from considering the generations long past? I would love it if you would join the discussion and leave a comment in the box below…

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 23, 2010

Two nights ago I was having a relaxing evening hanging out with my favorite Michael. He was tidying up a paper he had to send off, and I was tidying up my account with WordPress. I had some old/unused accounts; names I had reserved but had changed my mind on and I decided to just get rid of them since they were making my dashboard crowded. So, I read up on what I needed to do and then I checked off the account I wanted to delete and hit “next”.

A very big, scary warning came up saying that to delete a blog is a PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE ACTION and did I really want to do something PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE. I have to admit, it gave me a chill! I went back and double checked: did I have the correct blog selected. Yes indeedy! So again, next step, big scary warning, and I said, “Yes.” Yes I want to go down that road and I am prepared for the consequences; bring it on!

The next thing that happens, when one is deleting a blog, just to help people like me who might suddenly have second thoughts even after saying, “Yes”: an email is sent where you are able to click a link which is now the final, final step. Here is where I think WordPress might reconsider it’s final, final step; I would like to suggest that there be a final, final, final step.

So I clicked the link and then merrily went back to see my neater global dashboard. Oddly, when I clicked on my “OneBrownLeaf” address a message appeared on a stark white screen that said, “The authors have deleted this blog. The content is no longer available.” That must be a mistake, I thought, and refreshed the screen. That must also be a mistake, I thought, seeing the very same message. I closed Firefox and opened it once more; I typed in the address and there it was telling me I had deleted my blog.

I said (with some volume) “Oh no!!!!!” I may have said this repetitively, I can’t quite recall, what with the light-headedness and my hands pressed over my eyes.

I quickly found the WordPress support and emailed them something with the subject line, “Hellllllllp!!!!!!!!!” I could picture my blog just dangling there, not quiet gone, retrievable like a wedding ring on the edge of the drain and if I got the word out fast enough they would respond and say, “Because of your quick thinking, Mrs. Klassen, we were able to save OneBrownLeaf from imminent destruction! Congratulations!”

WordPress has not returned my S.O.S. thus far, and it has given me some time to reflect on this experience.

When my website disappeared, I just kind of blanked out; I think it was the words PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE. When some things go wrong in life, that is the way it seems. In varying degrees, a sense of panic creeps up my spine and spiders into my thoughts, wrapping my mind in a web of worry. I don’t consider myself a worrier, but that is when there is nothing to worry about. When something goes wrong, I can obsess over it. I can lose sleep over it. I can wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

But what is PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE? 1 Corinthians 10:13 (in the Bible) says,

“No Temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

There are two words in this verse that might throw us off, the first temptation and the second be tempted can be a bit confusing; here’s another way of looking at it:

“For no temptation (no trial, adversity, affliction, trouble), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.”

There are some pretty serious things that we wrestle with in life and I do not mean to make light of pain; but I must gently suggest (note to self) that even pain is a door we can walk through; we can find ourselves in a new place, when we are ready, if we choose to do so. 1 Corinthians 10 isn’t just for the garden variety trials, after all. Even our worst things can have an alternate ending.

With that disclaimer, I will return to my blog story. What was PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE there? My actions were; kind of, but not really. I did lose something: an address, connections with some strangers/followers, traffic; but I was able to piece most of it back together because I had a backup. Last week I made a backup file of my blog. I didn’t really know how to do this, but I kind of figured it out and had even made a back-up site. I am sure this was God saying, “I think I should give that girl a shove in the right direction, because next week she is going to do something really stupid. Let’s help her out.”

I had glanced at the backup I had made at the time, but hadn’t really checked it out thoroughly and I think this was at the root of my panic-moment. The fact that I had a back-up didn’t jump out in front of me and say, “No worries! Got you covered!” When the reality of my error hit, I just froze. I should have known my back-up better because then, when my site went down, my error would have annoyed me, but that’s about all.

So many of the things I face, the things I have angst about are just perceived dangers. Something happens and all I can see is white and I have a horrible feeling something just went terribly wrong. Maybe it actually did, but is that it?

1. First of all I can breathe, knowing that nothing is wasted. God has promised me that even the most troubling circumstances can all be turned around and used for actual good (Romans 8:28).
2. God always has a strategy. I read this once (Ortberg, I think), that if one pictures life as a chess board, God always has a play, no matter how the pieces are arranged on the board. So, even though there are real worries in life, as 1 Corinthians 10 reminds me, there is always another move.
3. I am never alone in any situation. Sometimes we just need to step out of the room and talk to Jesus who is ready, willing and able to help us (Isaiah 41:10)

How many times has God watch me sweat it out before I remember my back-up? If I am putting myself through the wringer, it is a clear sign that I either do not trust that my back-up is real or that my back-up is trust-worthy. If either of these theories are true, that means I have not taken the time to thoroughly look at Who my back-up is and how He operates. Put plainly, I don’t know Jesus; I am not familiar enough with His Words for them to make any difference.

So my little story has a happy ending, but not all my stories do. Sometimes what I have invested in is “gone” and sometimes the thing that mattered is “over” and sometimes it has felt as if the pain of something will “never go away”; but PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE? No. As in the case of my blog, we do not walk through life unscathed, but in Christ, nothing is completely lost. Our perception of things cries, “What good could ever come of this?” And our back-up, Jesus, shows us how mercy works and always has the final, final, final word.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43:2)

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

Afterword: take some time to read Psalm 116

Afterword: my original site is back, up and running. For full details, read this post on my site.

July 21, 2010

Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years; awake at six and back down at ten or eleven (check the calendar before you go to sleep so you know what is facing you the next day). Much of what I do between the hours is forgotten; at the end of the week when someone asks me, “how was your week,” I often can’t remember how it was.

Proverbs (in the Bible) today, is urging me to do more than “live out” my days: “The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way” (Proverbs 14:8).

Do I, do you understand your way?

Do you ever stop doing, doing, doing. Just stop? I don’t mean the kind where you drop onto the couch and flick on the TV. I mean the kind where you choose to stop and think with purpose.

Do you pause between one thing and another? Or do you just blaze ahead, solve your dilemma, find a new job (*This from a Twitter today: “Heard this recently: “The average person under 40 will change jobs every 20 months for the rest of their lives.” Pete MacIntosh), latch onto a new relationship, move on, move out, move in, move over? A certain group of monks always observe the “moments between moments” and we would do well to do the same, to understand where we have just been and where we should be next (not just could be).

Do you ask yourself good questions? I don’t mean the heat-of-the-moment ones, I mean the smart, unhurried ones that actually help you understand you, your life, your world?

Do you ask yourself good questions? I don’t mean the heat-of-the-moment ones, I mean the smart, unhurried ones that actually help you understand you, your life, your world?

What’s going on in that inner world of yours these days?

There’s many-a-day where I just get through it and get it done; but something is amiss in all of that; something tugs at me and calls me.

This morning I was thinking about all of this while swimming laps at JBMAC. The first half is me working way too hard to get across the pool (do not imagine style and grace), but the second half I just put the fins on, get out a board and I swim, head down, staring at the blue tiles at the bottom of the lane; and I think. No one says a word to me in the sanctuary of the water; and so, back and forth and back and forth, thinking about this Proverb.

A whisper: a word comes to mind and I am more than a little excited to unlock it. That’s how I find God works in me; sometimes one word out of His Words. Sometimes a little thought and it sends me somewhere, on a journey. It doesn’t always happen this way, I don’t always feel like going on a journey. I miss words; I miss nudges. Sometimes I am just distracted; sometimes I really do not want to hear from God. But when my ears are open; things come to mind and I turn it over and over and hope that the seed finds fertile soil in my heart.

Even if we don’t travel anywhere in particular, we are travelers; pilgrims. We are designed to discover things – far away things or things in our own backyard; things that are distant from us, things that are in front of us. Mike did a great paper on this topic, based on a book he read called the “Art of Pilgrimage” (if you want to know more, go to http://www.mybookreviews.info). He quotes in his paper,

“We all have a longing to discover something and unfortunately we can travel and not actually discover, we can put on miles and not see anything. Mark Twain says that travel has a way to eliminate narrow-mindedness, but this requires of the traveler a kind of introspective; as she covers the ground outwardly, so she advances fresh interpretations of herself inwardly.”

And this is what Proverbs is calling us to: fresh interpretations. How fresh are mine? Am I living on interpretations handed off to me? Knocked into me? Borrowed from others? Am I interpreting life based on correct understanding or out of my illusions or disillusionment? Would my whole life change if I had a new interpretation of it?

The way you tell me to live, God, is always right; help me understand it so I can live to the fullest. (Psalm 119:144 MSG)

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

Afterword: The word that came to mind as I swam was the word “consider;” that might not seem like anything to you, but it is my white rabbit. If you want to know where it is taking me; here is what I did next. I made a list of “consider the” phrases found in the Bible and I am going to take a run at each one over the next weeks. Join me if you like; its a work in progress. If you want to follow along, visit http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com Read More

6,857,000,000 Reasons Why

July 20, 2010

"He whose walk is upright fears the LORD, but he whose ways are devious despises Him." (NIV)

Put another way

"An honest life shows respect for GOD; a degenerate life is a slap in His face." (MSG)

There are billions of people in the world; 6,857,000,000-ish. Looking at Proverbs 14:2 (in the Bible) today, the first thing that crossed my mind was, why does God take my actions so personally? If I am choosing to be a deviant, there are roughly 6,856,999,999 alternatives.

Looking to the left, let’s say I was a total Athiest and had absolutely no regard for, no interest in, not even a passing thought that God is real and has a personal interest in me. So what? What’s one or even a million Athiests to God? Let them live their life believing this is all there is and in the end, the end. So what if they go about their life explaining everything their way and not glancing up, not even once; it isn’t like God needs them and apparently they don’t need Him either. They ask nothing, they would get nothing (except vicariously, benefiting from other’s faith systems that keep the world in check). Let’s even half the population, that still gives God a lot of material to work with: 3,428,500,000.

Moving to more middle-ground, so what if there are a pile of people who loosely believe there is a heaven and hell and live more like the latter? So what if they pay God a visit only twice a year, but use His name more regularly to vent off assorted frustrations? So what if they have a cocktail of beliefs which conflict more than they agree? Let’s say that gives God only one-quarter of the earth’s people who will return His affection. That’s still 1,714,250,000; but who’s counting?

Jesus wanted us to know something: God counts. Trying to help us understand the nature of God, Jesus painted a word picture for us:

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." (Matthew 18: 12-14)

This passage is only one of many that describe the lengths to which God will go to save even one little person (check out Luke 15 for a series of stories, for example). What a waste of time, hey? I mean why go after someone who’s like, “Why are you following me, get lost.”

While it is true that God’s image is stamped on me, I have to remember that my image is not stamped on God. I let relationships go when it seems they have run their course; God doesn’t. God doesn’t twist any arms, that’s true; but He keeps showing up at the door:

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

So, back to Proverbs. First of all, it would be good to just look at what kind of person is being described in that verse. This person has or is “departing” or “turning aside” from the good standard God set for all of creation. Something is “going wrong” in them and they are following a “crooked” path; if they continue down the course they are tracking, they will be “lost from view.”

Why does this matter so much to God. Honestly, there are so many people. Will God even remember me if I fall away?

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Luke 12:6-7)

I can’t explain why I, why you, matter so much to God; why He counts and checks and re-checks. I don’t know why He wants me to have an abundant life. I don’t know why He wants to fill our hearts with faith and hope and love and joy. I don’t know why He wants to walk with us through every single trial we encounter and strengthen us. But God sets a table before us…this reminds me…

Years ago, we went on a cruise as a family. Of course, the highlight is the food. So each night we would sit down to a feast: steak, lobster, creme-brule! It was a wonder! Every night, Nathan ordered a hot-dog; I’m not kidding. The Server was so dismayed; had Nathan looked at the menu? Didn’t the thought of freshly made crab cakes make his mouth water? I can’t imagine how insulting that must have been for the chef!

It’s a weak comparison, but I think my off choices must feel like that to God. I could be living an astounding life if only I would follow the recommendations of the Mind behind it all; but no, I choose scraps of things, pressed together, and call it a life. That’s a slap in the face. It doesn’t matter that I am only one person, if I am a person that God created. I mean what work of art doesn’t matter to the artist. Every one reminds Him of a time and a place and a thought and an inspiration.

God literally slaved over us (Philippians 2:7–9 says He, “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!) so yeah, our response to His extreme measures matter just a little bit.

I matter, you matter; 6,857,000,000 people matter, so much so that God pursues us in earnest and calls out to us, “Today, when you hear My voice, do not harden your heart…” (Hebrews 3:15).

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 19, 2010

Isolation/Insulation
19 07 2010

Dear Matt, I am trying to respond to the Message that you gave yesterday; I have had a few false starts. It is really hard to talk about Proverbs 18:1 and, specifically, the topic of isolation without it sounding like

a) I am ranting

b) I am complaining

c) I am justifying

d) All of the above.

What I realized as I was chewing on this topic was that isolation has an ENORMOUS appeal. Isolation doesn’t mean I have to be some social-outcast, after all; it just means I get to be choosy. Isolation means I can hand-pick, right? “Isolate” the variables so that what I am left with, fits; fits me exactly.Yes, I like that.

People use other words for isolate (no one is going to say, “we have chosen to isolate ourselves” or “isolate you out of our life”) but the end result is the same. Isolating means I get to single-out those things I want and leave everything else, to someone else. Isolating is a dash towards more pleasant pastures so that whatever is unpleasant can’t really touch me (distance does that). Isolation can feel as if I am getting my life back: If I can choose, I hold the cards, I control the play.

Also, Isolation sounds a lot like insulation which sounds warm and safe; a barrier. I have window shopped there (Barriers-R-Us) and oh, some of those walls are so appealing: 2 foot ones, 3 foot ones, 10 foot ones, whatever I need! I have wondered if I can follow Christ and serve people but not care; you know, not let it bore down into my heart so much. I am wondering if those barriers would protect that vulnerable side of me and maybe I would sustain less bruises? Ah, there I go again about me; you are right about isolation being about fulfilling my own desires versus Christ’s, but “me” feels things and some of those things I am pretty tired of feeling.

In times of solitude (a different thing from isolation), finding what I believe in again, isolation comes and sits with me and lists off its benefits. Isolation is slick; it always, always nudges me away, towards an exit. Isolation removes itself; excuses itself with excuses. Several times a week, isolation plays its violin outside my window and I give it a nod.

Matt, you said, “I need to be for you, and you need to be for me;” stuck together somehow in this handshake called “community”. I must acknowledge that isolation follows the laws of gravity (a law I understand), whereas Community is a lofty idea that is harder to grasp. It is so like Jesus to ask us to do something upside down, once again. None of anything Jesus asked us to do involves us being isolated (from brother or friend). Any sort of solitude is only so we can get our head screwed back on so that we can jump right back into the multitude that Jesus had compassion for; the unruly, unmanageable multitude; that one.

“Being with” and “walking with” can be heartbreaking, humiliating and just plain hard. Who would sign up for this? But I did. I didn’t just sign up for Jesus without saying I would follow Him, and I didn’t say I would loosely follow Him; I said I would be a part of the group; that I would throw myself into the mix to affect the world. I didn’t tell Him what I would be willing to do, just that I was willing.

So yeah, bummer, I have had some things ripped off of me along the way as a result. I will not pretend it is fun or funny or pleasant in any way. I don’t always love community; especially not when it is prickly. But I love Jesus and in His defense, whatever pain I have experienced by “being with” people, God has made good of it (or is in the process of).

The service ended with communion and I really loved how you drew this message into that act. In communion we symbolically acknowledge our non-isolation. Jesus, you did not isolate yourself from me, and as I take the bread and cup, I am saying to you that I am not isolating myself from you; and by taking it with my brothers and sisters, we are saying we are all committed to end isolation and live integrated lives.

Integrate: to form or unite into a larger unit; to end the segregation; to find commonness and accept each other as equals.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 16, 2010

Do you see anything different?

Look close…anything?

It’s just that Proverbs 13:9 says that the, “light of the righteous shines brightly.” And I wondered…

This Proverb seems so simple but I have really wrestled with it. I think it is these two words “righteous” and “the light” that have me sitting here thinking.

The Bible says, that no one is righteous, not even one person (Romans 3:10), so what is the point of this Proverb? No-one’s righteous.

Any earning if righteousness we think we are capable of, well, we should just know right now we can stop trying; that would be one less thing on our to-do list. If I was good today, “Way to go,” I can tell myself, but should quickly add, “just so you know, you are about to screw up.” You and I just can’t get it right. For every person who declares themselves, “good,” there are two others snickering in the background because they know just how bad we can be.

We should sigh deeply at this point because it is a distressing truth. The “world” will say, “You’re fine. Why all the angst?” It is because we aren’t fooled by the “eat, drink and be merry” message; it’s not that merry. We know something is broken and can’t be mended. No one is righteous. Not even one. “Woe is me,” the prophet Isaiah said as he thought about this, “I am a man of unclean lips, living among people of unclean lips.” (Isaiah 6:5)

Thank God, the Bible goes on to say, “Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins” (Romans 3:24)!

This idea of being “freed” is something known as “redemption.” Redemption, in case you were wondering, is my favorite word.

Redemption, the idea that something otherwise discardable can be made new and usable, when applied to people, is a magnetic message.
* Redemption, the idea that something can be changed for the better means that I have something to live for.
* Redemption, the idea that something is gained because something else was cashed in, both crushes me and motivates me when I realize what I gained because Jesus cashed His own life in for me.

This whole thing, by the way, is called the “Good News.” What else would you call it?

I just had to start with that, because understanding who is righteous and why is really important. We shouldn’t be all high on ourselves thinking we are better than anyone else. We can put all our self-righteousness away now, because our righteousness is the Good News of Jesus declaring, “got you covered.”

So, Jesus gave us the ability to be called righteous, which is awesome, and because it is truly “awesome” we don’t just go on as if nothing happened. As the saying goes, “to those who have been given much, much is required” (Luke 12:47–49). I have been given something (that’s the Good News) and that makes me a carrier.

So I am a carrier of a light and must move into all the dark shadows and bless the world because of how I have been blessed: “May your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven…” (Matthew 6:10)

I think we need to ask some questions about that. People who don’t follow Christ can “shine.” Good deeds stand out in a mostly selfish world no matter who does them; letting “your light” shine is not a concept reserved for Christ followers. There are lots of people who do nice things, altruistic things! So, do Christians just have to be nicer still? Kind of a one-up idea?

I think being clear about “the light of the righteous” is pretty crucial:

”...the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light. And for those who lived in the land where death casts its shadow, a light has shined.” (Matthew 4:16)
* “So when Mary and Joseph came to present the baby Jesus to the Lord as the law required, Simeon was there. He took the child in his arms and praised God, saying, “Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised. I have seen your salvation, which you have prepared for all people. He is a light to reveal God to the nations, and he is the glory of your people Israel!” (Luke 2:28–32)
* Jesus said, “I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark .”(Luke 12:46)

The thing that is shining brightly is not “shiny-us.” It isn’t our goody-goodness. The light is Jesus and He saved our necks. Jesus’ Good News isn’t a “good perspective” message; it is upsetting! It means I have to acknowledge my sin; it means I have to follow a wildly upside-down message that will throw my whole life in another direction. But this light is fiercely loving, unafraid and undaunted, sacred, supernatural, unquenchable, unstoppable. That kind of light has heat.

I am writing those words as I am sitting near a mirror, looking at myself and thinking about what big ideas those are for such a little person as I to carry; I am not really the Olympic Torch Bearer type. How can I do justice to a Light like that?

Bright is attractive, which means I better not be unapproachable or unrelatable or untranslatable. I better not be prudish or judgmental or spout off about stuff. I better not be driven by an agenda or abuse my relationships as if I am some network-marketer-for Jesus.

What had I better be?

I better be living in the light, for heaven’s sake. Sometimes I am just so catatonic and that is pretty lame, considering.

The only thing I carry, the only thing I have to offer anyone that is of any value is Jesus. But I can’t go out and just go on and on about Him; I have to go out and be a living example of Him living in me.

A pretty good description of “how-to” is found in Galatians 5:22 (another book and verse in the Bible):

“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another (5:22)

It can’t be faked.We can’t treat Galatians with a checklist and good acting. Notice how the verse says, “The Holy Spirit produces in us…” Similar to Jesus declaring us righteous. It is mostly Him and mostly not us. Our part is one word: submission.

What ought to shine in me is my continual surrender to the Holy Spirit’s leading in my life (and in case you think I have this “continual surrender” thing down, I don’t). None of us are “shiny” in and of ourselves. It is what the Holy Spirit produces that shines and sometimes it is just astounding the tiny little things that end up being the brightest, because He makes it so.

I love this definition of light: that which makes seeing possible.

Hm. Someone else’s light helped me see The Light. Now I am a carrier and must do the same. See how that works?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 13, 2010

“We represent the Lollipop Guild and wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.” Wizard of Oz

Here’s the word: represent. Defined by the Urban Dictionary, “represent” is a verb meaning, “A phrase showing acknowledgment to one’s background, home, social group, or original place of residence. Also similar to giving a shout-out to one’s homeboys” as illustrated in this dialogue:

Interviewer: So you’re from West Kelowna?
Interviewee: That’s right, homeskillet. K-Town, represent!
(TK: haha)

Perfectly clear? Let’s move on.

Here’s the question: do I “represent” honestly? If I don’t, what’s with that?

Proverbs (in the Bible) presents an interesting nugget to think about today

One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth (13:7).

Why would one pretend to be rich when they aren’t? Here is what I came up with:

because wealth spells success and who doesn’t want to be seen as successful?
* because wealth attracts people and who doesn’t want to be attractive?
* because wealth is smart and who doesn’t want to be smart?
* because people listen to wealth and who doesn’t want to be listened to?
* because wealth is somebody and who doesn’t want to be a somebody?

Why would one pretend to be poor when they aren’t? Here is what I came up with:

because wealth creates complications and who wants complications?
* because wealth makes you accountable and who wants to be accountable?
* because wealth can be blinding and who doesn’t want to be seen?
* because wealth is a magnet and who wants to feel stuck with all that?
* because wealth is a conversation and who doesn’t want to talk about something else?

I am looking at both sides of this coin and can only see trouble for the person who misrepresents. Unless one makes a careful habit of keeping relationships short and light, our real life will eventually be exposed, and then what?

Whether one has a lot or a little, many believe that possessions define us and we are either ashamed or resentful as a result. With this attitude we believe either that we aren’t really worth knowing because of what we don’t have, or we suspect that we are only known for what we do have and are left wondering what we are really worth to others.

I can see how either way is lose-lose. Wealth (have it or don’t have it) has got to live somewhere else in our lives.

I think God calls us to be exactly who we are, where we are, wholly, humbly and honestly. But the harder exercise in all of this is asking who we really are and where we really are honestly. Pretending to be poor or pretending to be rich is saying something. What? (That’s yours to figure out)

If we “are” our economic status, that is exactly how others will see us; why would we expect anything different? What do people hear us talking about? What do they see us passionate about? Where are we spending our time? Is it our wealth or lack of it that dominates our conversations? Is it our driving ambition to succeed? Is it our catalog of wants? People will refer to us by what we reference most often.

If our lives are about something more, then our wealth (have it or not) becomes a foot-note. Or will it? Won’t having and not-having still loom large in people’s assessment of us? Assessment is an exercise that requires information. If we want an assessment that more fairly represents who we really are then we have to put out what matters to us.

We have to represent what we represent.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 12, 2010

I don’t even want to write about this one today:

“The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.” Proverbs 13:4

Don’t you hate it when you know what you ought to do but don’t feel like doing it? You know that what you ought to do will have a good result in the end, it is just that the thing you ought to do is quite often not that appealing.

Yesterday, Brian referred to the Law of Causality in his message; the definition is as follows:

“Causality is the relationship between an event (the cause) and a second event (the effect), where the second event is a consequence of the first.” (Wikipedia)

Side note: To me, it sounds kinda obvious, but do a little reading on it and you will see that philosophers have philosophized about the Law of Causality to oblivion.

Proverbs 13:4 urges us to be diligent so that our desired outcome will be realized. Diligence, in case you are interested, is “careful and continued work.”

See, that is the problem right there. Unless you are like my mother who thrives on doing the jobs no one else will do—the unrewarding ones that take a long time and are really picky and tedious and boring—“careful and continued work” isn’t particularly attractive.

Diligence needs a zippy marketing campaign to draw us in a little more. For example, here is a picture I found that came with the caption, “Cleaning The Toilet Can Be Fun!”

Some guy hooked up a drill to his toilet brush. So, maybe not the best idea, but at least he is making an attempt at jazzing up what is otherwise a tedious job.

Or there are the guys who thought they could make vacuuming fun by turning it into a game:

(actually, you should read their blog: http://tinyurl.com/29dsk8z. They have 10 suggestions for making vacuuming fun or, “fun-er”)

As I am writing this, I am realizing something. It is hard to be diligent because it lacks the fun factor. Anything that is “careful and continued” has a bit of an assembly-line sound to it. If someone says to me, “Hey, do you want to do something carefully and continuously for a while and see what happens?” I will be inclined to take their temperature.

At the same time, the Proverb says that the sluggard craves. Am I the only one relating to this? I mean there are things I genuinely want to see happen in my life—good things, smart things. Some of these things I go after, but I definitely have a list of things I crave that I don’t see happen because the Law of Causality proves that my lack of effort equals lack of results.

I like how the Proverb ends: fully satisfied. If we apply some diligence, we will be fully satisfied. Doesn’t that just sound good to say?

“I am fully satisfied because I have put in my full effort; I have been diligent and I can now sit back and look at what has come as a result.”

Does that ever sound simple. In reality, all it takes is 5 little words to kill the momentum: I don’t feel like it. If I look at what I do, much of it is based on how I feel. I feel happy so I do this. I feel hungry for something in particular so I eat that. I feel energetic about something specific so I do that specific thing. But ask me to do something that falls into my “dislike” category and I am not really going to feel like doing that, so I won’t unless I have no other option.

The problem with having no other option (and you can put yourself in place like that – rehab, bootcamps, programs, structures, prison) is that someone else is governing your behavior.

To be diligent is an act of free-will, to be a sluggard is an act of free-will. To crave is an option. To be satisfied is an option.bIt is frustratingly simple and simply frustrating at the same time.

I just have to pray, God, help me with those areas I tend to be lazy in. Help me to change that mindset of being governed by what I feel like doing and move me towards acting on what is good. Help me to be “diligent about being diligent.” I don’t want to miss out of any of what you have for me simply because of a lack of effort on my part.

So today…what is that saying?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 11, 2010

Just reflecting on Brian’s message today (Proverbs 2). There were some BIG challenging ideas, but something small is bouncing around in my head just now; it has to do with voices.

Brian pointed out that there are different kinds of wisdom with different kinds of voices.

On one end of the line there is actually evil/false counsel. That is easy to dismiss if you are doing your best to stay away from evil but wait; I am asking myself, “Would I recognize evil counsel if it spoke to me?” Of course I would; wouldn’t I?

Evil is not always obvious, you know. It is cunning and crafty and it isn’t going to ask me straight out to become an axe murderer. No, it will even use godly things to sidetrack me. For those whose hearts are turned towards God, it will lure us with what we are familiar with; with what we want God to sound like; towards where we want to go rather than where we ought to go. Evil’s voice is subtle; if it were loud it would scare us and we would run. Evil’s “wisdom” is just about there, so close to what might be right, shiny enough to hook us. It says, “Ah…just a little off. Perfect.”

I don’t want to be a little off. I don’t want to waste time being a little off and have to find my way back.

On the other end is there is Truth/God’s wisdom (and everything in between). God’s wisdom is really obvious (though we may not always like it, because it is hard). Brian pointed us to James 3:17 which says the Wisdom we ought to be crying aloud for is the Wisdom that comes from heaven.

What voices ring the loudest in my ears? Does God’s trump all?

I love that James gives me this measuring stick when it comes to advice (3:17) and how to discern what is godly and what is not:

1. Is it pure? (chaste/modest, clean, innocent)
2. Is it peace-loving? (bringing harmony, agreement, bringing peace with it)
3. Is it considerate?(gentle, fair, just)
4. Is it submissive? (accommodating, obedient, yielding)
5. Is it full of mercy? (kindness, good-will, a desire to help, blessing)
6. Is it something that would lead to good fruit? (productive, of benefit)
7. Is it impartial? (treating something or others equally and without ambiguity, unwavering)
8. Is it sincere? (not hypocritical, genuine)

As I am writing that list I am just so astounded by the wisdom contained in that ONE VERSE. When someone sits down to give me a piece of advice or counsel or correction, I have 8 questions I can hold it up to and see if it is actually godly wisdom I am getting.

This reminds me of something Bill Hybels used to say when someone would approach him with “a word,” especially when that word was about pointing out what he should or should not do:

“Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I will prayerfully take it into consideration and move forward as the Spirit leads me.”

Instead of getting yanked this way and that way by this voice and that voice, we can take anything anyone says, prayerfully take it into consideration, lining that apparent word of wisdom up with a passage like James 3:17 and ask, “does this sound like God’s leading?”

Brian closed the message with a word about submission/yielding fully and I had to think of myself and how I think I am that; I am submitted, I am yielding to God. But I had an image of my life being in the fingertips rather than the whole hand of God. Yes, often I live that way. I am hearing him, I am following him, but sometimes I am just dangling in His care rather than fully in.

There are still many voices that capture my attention more than His. There are still voices that trouble me and trouble me when God’s voice is saying, “Don’t let your heart be troubled.” (John 14:1)

Much could be said about trouble and trusting and listening and living (and certainly that was explored this morning) but, for me today, it all comes down to closing one’s eyes and listening for That Voice:

“Though the Lord gave you adversity for food
and suffering for drink,
he will still be with you to teach you.
You will see your teacher with your own eyes.
Your own ears will hear him.
Right behind you a voice will say,
“This is the way you should go,”
whether to the right or to the left.”

(Isaiah 30:20–21)

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 10, 2010

Cabin Fever
(as defined by Google):

”...a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow).”

When do I get a free pass to be annoyed with someone?
* What scenario gives me the right to vent my irritation?
* How “big” does something have to be before it can legitimately become the plot of a drama?

Just askin’.

It just seems that it takes very little to start something; we’re awfully touchy, aren’t we? Push a couple of people together and you end up pushing buttons. There are just “things” about other people that aggravate us, hey? *Right about here, go down and read my p.s. if you like and engage in a little personal inventory before reading on…

I know we are supposed to see each person as incredibly valuable, but often, aren’t people just incredibly irritating? Even people we really, genuinely love spending time with can get on our nerves. Even with those we would take a bullet for, we can become impatient and angry with and find at least a dozen things to pick at.

In the famous “love passage” there is a line that says ”[love] is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Basically, most of us get an F on this because very few of us are not easily angered. I, for one, am not very demonstrative with my anger, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there; that doesn’t mean I am not peeved and slightly less prone to being generous and kind as a result. My attitude, when I am bugged, is toxic and no good can come of it. This I would also like to further comment on, but I will save that for a few paragraphs.

Why am I so easily angered? Why is my list of expectations so inflexible? I know there are some things worth debating, but tell me, what percentage is really worth causing so much drama about?

What is worth going toe-to-toe with someone over? If something rubs us wrong, why can’t we just move on? Proverbs 12:16 says

16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

A wise person doesn’t even go there; a fool won’t let it go.

I think we have some capacity to zip the lip but to “overlook” means to actually fail to see or to pay no attention to at all.

What grates at you? For almost everything that gets under your skin, could it not be resolved with two words: so what? What difference does it make if you feel a little dinged or disappointed or put-out or misunderstood or inconvenienced or crowded. Honestly the scenery of our lives change so fast, so what if some little thing is an irritant to you. So what? Let it go.

Don’t get me wrong, you can’t just shrug everything off, but isn’t there a whole whack of things you could? There is a big difference between fighting for something and fighting over something.

The image in my mind is that of a bomb that could go off – something’s in the mix that could raise the roof – but it requires a detonation wire, and that is what separates the wise person from the fool. Proverbs is saying that a wise and careful person is missing that wiring. The engagement, the explosion, never happens because, with God’s help, it is overlooked; it doesn’t even get lit.

Community.

We say we want to be together, but when we are together we sometimes totally miss the privilege of it. And this is what I want to go back to and conclude with. We are to be a light on a hill but how will we minister to others if we cannot minister to each other? How can we invite others in, if we can’t stand “being in” too long with one-another? There is a time to go off and pray and sort your own head out, but then return and show the world (and fulfill the prayer of Jesus) that we can be One, without cabin fever.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

P.S. Hey kids, here’s a fun game (I say tongue-in-cheek, you must realize). Take some time and write down everything that irritates you about other people (I would encourage you not to use names and under no circumstances should this list appear on Facebook). Afterwords, look at your list and realize how pathetic it is. Spend some time confessing and allowing the Holy Spirit to give you a new heart and a new perspective. Then spend the rest of the week practicing “letting things go.” Let me know how this turns out for you. I have my own assignment.

July 4, 2010

Just digesting Matt’s message today on Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

I found myself asking the question, “Do I fear God?” Matt was saying that there is fear, in terms of respect, but there is also the “terrifying” aspect to God that we have either avoided or misunderstood.

Sometimes I dream of things, events, that run very contrary to my life. For example, I will dream that I have done something that I am horrified about. I love my husband Mike as much as I can love another human being, in my dreams this is true as well; but I have dreamed that I have betrayed the sacred bond of our friendship and the moment I have I am filled with terror over what I have done and I can see the road ahead; it is broken and sad beyond words. I see in Mike’s face everything I never want to see; I see the thing I have done to him. Why, I ask myself, why did I do that?

In real life I am pretty good-natured, but I have dreamed that I have committed a horrible crime; the second I realize that I have stepped over “that line” I am filled with terror over what I have done and all the ramifications of that choice.

When I wake up, all I feel is relief. The terror in the dream was so real, I might as well have done it; but I didn’t and I am so thankful for my real world.

When I think about fear and God, I think about what I have and I think about all I “have to lose.” I think about life without God and I see a vast emptiness that terrifies me. I think of that aloneness. I think of that separation and I can’t get my mind around it. I think of carrying all that I am, the darkness that is my only alternative to living forgiven, and I cannot fathom that. With God, I can imagine being without Him. I see what it is like around me and I think of myself living that way.

I look at God and know I don’t deserve Him. I know that He does not need me, as if I can do some sort of service to convince Him that I am worth keeping in His circle. I see my “good deeds” and think they are works of art, but realize, in the presence of God’s majesty, they are scribbles of crayon; as if He is impressed.

God is not my neighbor. He is not next door to me, like some equal I can visit or ignore. In God’s presence, I am self-aware. I see what the Bible describes as “filthy rags” my sin and my attempts to not appear to be sinful. The fear of God’s perfection is exactly that. I can’t stand before Him and grin about my mistakes, kid around and say, “look what I did.” God has every right to say, “look at the mess you have made!” and turn His face from me.

But I liked what Matt said this morning, the God that we “fear” has the power to save. We have all fallen off a cliff, but mid-air, without doing anything to merit such a rescue, God (out of love) pulls us back. The God who has every right to judge us, which ought to terrify us, holds us and keeps us from destruction because of a love we don’t even have a word for.

I liked the question Matt posed, “are we uncomfortable in his grip?” We hold our children’s hands tightly when something feels precarious, and so does God. We are in a precarious position, so God gives us the desire for God (interesting to think about). In this desire we see how perilously close we came to a lost eternity and this fear drives us towards Him, not away; and He holds us tight within boundaries for our own good.

Ecclesiastes concludes that our whole life’s purpose is to fear God and keep His commands. Yes, I get that. If I keep a healthy fear, if I long to follow God’s ways, I will see His salvation at work in me.

As a parent, I also live in “fear” —don’t get me wrong about the word, I don’t mean worry or anxiety—I mean “absolute seriousness”...I feel dead serious about all of this for my children. I realize they are testing their faith and feeling the constraints of God’s grip and deciding whether they will remain in Him. I get this; and it terrifies me at the same time. Not one thing matters more to me except that they will respond to God, fear Him, follow Him with passion. I want them to understand their precarious position as well and feel the grip of His hand on them, keeping them from falling.

God, may it be so.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

Where's The Love?

Date Posted: Feb 03 2012 by Erin MacIntosh
Stubbornness.

Date Posted: Feb 01 2012 by Kyle Dyck
Obedience.

Date Posted: Jan 31 2012 by Brittany Judas
Limbs.

Date Posted: Jan 25 2012 by Kyle Dyck