News from June 2010

Wasted Beauty

June 29, 2010

The allure of beauty, in times past, was the promise of it. It was the way a woman walked and talked; the sound of her voice and the choice of her words (which were poetry to the right ear). Beauty was her composure and confidence; the way she moved down the street told a story. It was what others said about her; it was what you heard about her that made her wonderful. It was both what you could see, which only told you so much, and what you could not. She was inaccessible unless you were “the one.” The fact that she had created a boundary that no one would cross (unless they had evil intent) meant she had dignity and make dignified the man who won her heart.

Beauty was not suggestive, it was a suggestion. It was both an invitation and a warning. The invitation said, “I am worth knowing.” The warning said, to quote a modern line, “I am not here for your entertainment.” I am worth chasing after. I am worth your respect. I will add value to your life if you are so fortunate to win me.

Beauty today has lost its magic. Girls think nothing of “putting it all out there” for guys to see – young girls working hard to have cleavage for their facebook shot so that they can look “sexy.” It is so ironic, because by doing so, they have lost the very thing they can control and use to their advantage. By spilling out of their clothes, the only thing they are going to get is lust, and our hearts weren’t designed for that. It is only out of brokenness that we settle for love’s cheap cousin.

Our hearts were designed for the dance; something purer and more intoxicating and in the end, a woman was meant to be treasured, not used.

Proverbs 11:22 says

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”

This is a fantastic description. Who would put something priceless into a pig’s nose. A gold ring, really? Does the pig know it is wearing something so costly? The writer is saying that a woman who lacks the ability to show good judgement in how she carries herself and conducts herself shouldn’t even bother with thinking she has beauty.

True Beauty, on an unwise woman, isn’t the thing you are going to notice. She will waste her good years flaunting herself, so why even be beautiful if she has made herself that available, that viewable? Her beauty is wasted on her. She has something amazing and she doesn’t even know it.

I walk into the stores these days and everything is low cut. I feel for the girls who go shopping because trying to be modest and still fashionable is hard. A v-neck t-shirt is impossible to wear without another layer under it and even that layer often doesn’t make the outfit modest.

They make jeans/shorts that you can’t bend over in without exposing yourself (I don’t get how that is sexy, I really don’t think someone’s crack and half their underwear is sexy – honestly if people could see themselves!) And don’t get me started on older women trying to pull this off. It doesn’t look good on someone who is 20, and it is scary on someone who is older whether you are 100 pounds or not. Women, think about what other people are seeing and spare us. That’s not beauty.

There are a thousand words for beauty but sexy only means “sexually exciting/erotic.” Is that what you want? Do you just want to be known as sexually exciting? If all you have is that, then there is only one thing to discover: Whether you are that exciting or not. Once that is known, there are others more exciting than you.

Honestly, there is only one person like you; would anyone know that by the way you carry yourself?

As for me, there is more to me then that. I have a lot going on in my head and heart that I think is worthwhile knowing. I am 42 and I am “just becoming”—I am just coming into the person I am. I have many sides to me and you haven’t even seen them all yet. I am stirred by so many things, do you want to know what stirs me? Mike, my husband of almost 22 years, have I become boring yet? I think not…

Girls, you are not some animal taking whatever scraps of attention you can get. You are a great beauty, worth your weight in gold; wear it knowing who you are and don’t give yourself away so easily.

You are worth a great pursuit.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

June 28, 2010

Who really means it when they say, “it’s only money.” Wealth, even if one chooses to live simply, is still pretty appealing and, I might add, comforting; to not think about the bill that is rolling around next month would be a relief. I realize there are other stresses around the edges of wealth; maintaining a state of wealth requires industry, after all. Still, if there is a pocket of wealth that one can dip into with quite a lot of reliability, I would say that would bring a certain peace of mind.

But The Book of Proverbs (in the Bible), with its usual candor, says it’s “only wealth.”

“A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.” Proverbs 11:16

This isn’t a “to be wealthy” or “not to be wealthy” kind of proverb. To be kind does not mean you won’t have wealth, but if you are the ruthless type (callous, hard-hearted, unsympathetic, unmerciful, cut-throat…) it is all you will have in the end. Maybe that is good enough for some; maybe “owning” is all they want, along with the shallow companions who trip over themselves to stand next to riches. Maybe.

A kindhearted person gains respect; that is, appreciation, sometimes admiration, followers, many times love or adoration and certainly honor. A kindhearted person is looked up to and what they say is often listened to. A kindhearted person is a pleasure to be with, refreshing others, and receiving the sort of attention due to them.

I have been the recipient of various types of kindness; far more times than I can count. My life has overflowed with simple and sacrificial acts of kindness shown to me by others. People of all ages, wealthy people, and people of little means, those I have known “forever” and some I have barely met, have extended themselves to me in so many kind ways. As I am reflecting on it, I feel privileged to the point of being embarrassed. If not for the danger of leaving someone out, I could effortlessly list 50 people who have been kind to me; and that would just be 2010.

Whether I have wealth or don’t, I can mismanage myself as much as any person who has more or less. I can be as ruthless and stingy, as self-serving or isolated, and definitely as greedy; my desires can be as insatiable; I can be as indifferent and as unconcerned with my $5 as with another’s five million.

I can also be as kindhearted. Isn’t that true? Kindness is kindness no matter if you are penniless or über wealthy. Just stop and think about it: will you only take a complement from someone who has credentials?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 26, 2010

It takes so little effort to be nice, to be generous, to make a difference in someone’s day.

Yesterday Josh, Nate and a friend spent the afternoon at Two Eagles Golf Course. They had some time to spare and chipped in to buy a bucket of balls to hit at the driving range. When those were done, they were done.

A gentleman approached them, chatted with them for a bit, gave them some tee’s that he had and then, for no reason, bought them another bucket of balls, wished them well, and went on his way.

I say, “for no reason,” but isn’t there one? I don’t know who he was, and I am quite sure he won’t be reading this, but I wonder what happened before he walked over. Did he see the three of them laughing and having a good time—scampering out as far as they dare to grab the nearest balls just to extend their time at the range when their bucket ran dry? Did it remind him of something or someone or just a time when he was their age?

I can’t say for sure, but for some reason he wanted to make their day; and he did.

Why do most of us stand by and observe but not go that extra step to do something nice for a stranger? Are we afraid of being rejected? Are we afraid someone will take it the wrong way or think it strange? Are we too in a rush? Or, worse, do we not even see those opportunities to be kind?

I am just reflecting on this today and wondering what opportunity will present itself.

I think God is so much like that stranger at the golf course. I think He delights in doing things for us, “for no reason” other than it brings him joy to do so. He is the master of “the moment” and, because He is so, I think He prompts us to not miss out on what He finds so delightful.

If we will pause and see what He sees, I think we will find so many ways to touch people’s lives with a little bit of sunshine, for no other reason than they share this earth with us and are of equal importance before God; they are another heart beating; another soul breathing. It should come naturally to us, because ”[We are] God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2: 9 NLT).

On a bad day, a tragic day, those within arms reach quickly become friends. Why not on a good day, a day when nothing much is happening, when there is no immediate need, just an opportunity.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 24, 2010

Aren’t there a lot of things you can do wrong?

This morning I read Proverbs 11:3,

“The integrity of the upright guides them,
but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

“Duplicity” caught my eye so I looked it up to get its exact meaning; it is: deception by pretending to feel and act one way while feeling and acting another (wordcentral.com). Who has not done this? Can you be a human being and not do this?

If one is awestruck by the beauty and complexity of life, one must also be astonished over the incredible webwork of “evil.” I mean, how many ways can we be bad? There is “bad” that is right out there, and then there is the Pandora’s Box of back-room bad, such as this one called duplicity; I doubt it would make the top ten bad things but don’t be fooled, it is as lethal as murder.

Duplicity is acid (the kind that burns your eyes out, not the hallucinogenic). It is the thing that eats away and eventually annihilates trust. It is the “say one thing, think another” evil; it is “the fake”; it is what makes us juggle stories and habits; it is strategic deception. From the most innocent, “I’m fine” when you’re not to the “we’re fine” when you’re about to break something; duplicity misrepresents at every corner.

Little microscopic duplicity; you are a nasty one, aren’t you? You are a game at first—one that requires skill and word-power; and then you are a trip-wire. Why do I live with duplicity? “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do!!!” (Paul, in Romans 7:15). We know what duplicity feels like; it is the scab we keep picking at; the flaw that won’t let us off the hook.

How many things can I do wrong in the short amount of time I have been given? How many ways can I be bad?

Some people say, “I don’t care!” because God’s standard is too high, too impossible to meet. But “I don’t care” is just us giving up; it doesn’t fix anything; it doesn’t make it easier to live with ourselves.

The word that just came to my mind as I am writing this is “reconcile.” When I do my finances and two columns don’t agree with each other (a situation I face frequently), I need to reconcile my statement; I need to get them to agree. Duplicity is when two things are not in agreement with each other; one side is one way, the other side is another.

Jesus, recognizing our duplicity, chose to use that word “reconcile” to describe what He did on the cross. He brought agreement between us and God (we were alienated from God because of our evil behavior) and “now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation…(Colossians 1:21–23). Because of our agreement with God He shows us how to have agreement in our own heart and in how we relate to others.

On our own, we are filled with duplicity, but in Christ we are reconciled.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 22, 2010

You want to know what people seem to be really good at? People are good at picking things apart. People are good at killing an idea before it has a chance. People are good at finding fault and dirt and reasons to dethrone our leaders. People are good at finding what hasn’t been done, over what has. Continually, people look for shortfall and shortcomings and are good at finding them.

People pride themselves on being the “devil’s advocate” and “the watch-dog” and “the opposition.”

Proverbs 11:11 (in the Bible) says “Upright citizens bless a city and make it prosper, but the talk of the wicked tears it apart.”

We have part B down quite well but what about part A?

In the few years I have left, I would like to leave out the “devil” and just be known as an “advocate” for things that matter. Instead of a watch-dog, I would simply like to be watchful and mindful (more of my own steps than any one else’s). Instead of being all about opposing, I would rather be for something. I think this is what I am called to do. I think this is part of missional living.

I would like to bless people around me. I would like to bless my city and see it prosper and, in turn, bless other cities.

I know there is never enough attention being paid to “__________” (fill in the blank). But when I think of my own life and what I don’t give enough attention to, I wonder, am I measuring my leaders by a standard I myself can not meet? I am not saying that leadership does not need accountability, I just thing there should be way more “coming alongside” and less fingers pointing.

I want my city to prosper in the best sense. I would like it to be known as a place people can work and play and be safe. I want it to be a place where its citizens care for the poorest and most vulnerable. I want it to be tended and managed responsibly so that because of our good stewardship we can look at the future with hope and dream about its potential.

A city can be a light on a hill, but it is its citizens that make it so.

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

Afterword: Had the best time on Saturday with people all over West Kelowna coming together to work with Communities In Bloom to clean up garbage at six different sites. From kids to seniors, just a great show of unity. And thanks to CIBC, we were also fed and entertained. One small thing accomplished to bless our city.

June 18, 2010

Nourished.

Isn’t that a great word? It has a green feel to it. Just saying it makes me think of that moment after the rain has stopped and the sun shows its face; the grass and leaves are lacquered and there is that smell of the earth in the air: nourished.

Read Proverbs 10:21 (NIV) this morning:

“The lips of the righteous nourish many…”

Isn’t it amazing what a word can do?

One word inspires; one word deflates.
* One word cries; one infuriates.
* One word enlightens and one confuses.
* One word rescues; one abuses.
* One word vows; one betrays.
* One word go’s; one word stays.

(Hey, just wrote a poem)

The word “nourishes” in the original Hebrew has a rainbow of meanings: shepherds, feeds, cares, becomes a companion for, brings one to pasture and aren’t those all amazing things that one person can do for another?

A word can shepherd or guide a person.
* A word can be like food to the hungry.
* A word becomes care for the lonely.
* Words between two people spell companionship.
* Words guide people to healthier, sweeter places.
* Words change lives.

Every day I have this power to nourish. Out of my mouth I can say something that goes right to the heart of another.

Now I feel so sad; how many words have I wasted? How many words have I misused? How many opportunities have I let slide by?

Every day I can be kind. Every day I can wish a complete stranger well. Every day I can say something powerful to my kids. Every day my words can be a rainfall to someone and by that one simple act I could pour life into their wilting spirit.

You want to talk about power? What power God has given to us to impact “MANY” with one tiny little tool; one thing we all have; one thing we don’t need any training for, any education, any experience, any permission, any appointment. Honestly, it’s like walking around with bags of money that I can give away; and I never run out.

I, the giver, never become poor.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 17, 2010

I know the answer to this question, but it irks me: “What makes one person want to damage another person’s reputation?” Of course, I know; it is the thing that is behind all of the dark things we do, but stop and think about it: Why do we want to do this? Why do we want to choose those words, to share that piece of information, for the purpose of making another person look bad?

Publicly, this is called “Slander” (you just put it out there).

Privately, this is called “Gossip” (behind the scenes, a secret slanderer).

From the time we put sentences together, we are cutting each other down. At first they are just simple accusations that may or may not be believable; but we become more skilled at it as we go; we become good at advertising another person’s faults so that others quite blindly buy in; with silver tongues we slay another person.

Who is innocent of this charge? Certainly not me! Haven’t I let just a little more information go than necessary at times? Haven’t I given a conversation a nudge in my favor, at another’s expense?

Behind slander/gossip, anger simmers; behind anger there could be many things: bitterness, fear, frustration, hurt, resentment, embarrassment, shame; any number of poisons that motivate us to take a shot at someone else. We perceive this battle to be good over evil, where we are “good” and the other person isn’t. We want right to win over wrong; and obviously we are right. Even if we aren’t right, we don’t want to lose face; so we draw mustaches on others.

We step back, and in some way we feel good; we feel a little vindicated when someone agrees with our assessment of another; so we try it again.

Proverbs 10:18 in the Bible says, ”...slandering others makes you a fool.” I wish the writer had said more; I have to add the “because.” Slandering others makes you and I a fool because

How we measure others is how we will be measured. As one man used to say, “when you point one finger at others, there are three pointing back at you.”
* The person we slander is a child of God and we are as flawed as he/she
* Slander proves our depravity one more time and we are called to live a nobler life.
* It hurts; and we are to be about healing, not wounding
* If for nothing else, the person who slanders is a slanderer. In the moment it may seem like people want to listen, but ultimately it erodes his own reputation; ah, he becomes a fool.

On Sunday Mike talked about “words” and whether we ought to be asking ourselves more often, “are the words I am about to use necessary.” This is important in so many areas of our life, and particularly when it comes to building up or tearing down other people. Before those words escape: really? Really, do you want to go there?

Psalm 19:14:

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

Around The Table

Date Posted: Sep 06 2010 by Teresa Klassen
Whew!

Date Posted: Sep 01 2010 by Teresa Klassen
I can do Proverbs 31 in the summer

Date Posted: Aug 31 2010 by Teresa Klassen
Misunderstanding God

Date Posted: Aug 28 2010 by Teresa Klassen