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Wasted Beauty

June 29, 2010

The allure of beauty, in times past, was the promise of it. It was the way a woman walked and talked; the sound of her voice and the choice of her words (which were poetry to the right ear). Beauty was her composure and confidence; the way she moved down the street told a story. It was what others said about her; it was what you heard about her that made her wonderful. It was both what you could see, which only told you so much, and what you could not. She was inaccessible unless you were “the one.” The fact that she had created a boundary that no one would cross (unless they had evil intent) meant she had dignity and make dignified the man who won her heart.

Beauty was not suggestive, it was a suggestion. It was both an invitation and a warning. The invitation said, “I am worth knowing.” The warning said, to quote a modern line, “I am not here for your entertainment.” I am worth chasing after. I am worth your respect. I will add value to your life if you are so fortunate to win me.

Beauty today has lost its magic. Girls think nothing of “putting it all out there” for guys to see – young girls working hard to have cleavage for their facebook shot so that they can look “sexy.” It is so ironic, because by doing so, they have lost the very thing they can control and use to their advantage. By spilling out of their clothes, the only thing they are going to get is lust, and our hearts weren’t designed for that. It is only out of brokenness that we settle for love’s cheap cousin.

Our hearts were designed for the dance; something purer and more intoxicating and in the end, a woman was meant to be treasured, not used.

Proverbs 11:22 says

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”

This is a fantastic description. Who would put something priceless into a pig’s nose. A gold ring, really? Does the pig know it is wearing something so costly? The writer is saying that a woman who lacks the ability to show good judgement in how she carries herself and conducts herself shouldn’t even bother with thinking she has beauty.

True Beauty, on an unwise woman, isn’t the thing you are going to notice. She will waste her good years flaunting herself, so why even be beautiful if she has made herself that available, that viewable? Her beauty is wasted on her. She has something amazing and she doesn’t even know it.

I walk into the stores these days and everything is low cut. I feel for the girls who go shopping because trying to be modest and still fashionable is hard. A v-neck t-shirt is impossible to wear without another layer under it and even that layer often doesn’t make the outfit modest.

They make jeans/shorts that you can’t bend over in without exposing yourself (I don’t get how that is sexy, I really don’t think someone’s crack and half their underwear is sexy – honestly if people could see themselves!) And don’t get me started on older women trying to pull this off. It doesn’t look good on someone who is 20, and it is scary on someone who is older whether you are 100 pounds or not. Women, think about what other people are seeing and spare us. That’s not beauty.

There are a thousand words for beauty but sexy only means “sexually exciting/erotic.” Is that what you want? Do you just want to be known as sexually exciting? If all you have is that, then there is only one thing to discover: Whether you are that exciting or not. Once that is known, there are others more exciting than you.

Honestly, there is only one person like you; would anyone know that by the way you carry yourself?

As for me, there is more to me then that. I have a lot going on in my head and heart that I think is worthwhile knowing. I am 42 and I am “just becoming”—I am just coming into the person I am. I have many sides to me and you haven’t even seen them all yet. I am stirred by so many things, do you want to know what stirs me? Mike, my husband of almost 22 years, have I become boring yet? I think not…

Girls, you are not some animal taking whatever scraps of attention you can get. You are a great beauty, worth your weight in gold; wear it knowing who you are and don’t give yourself away so easily.

You are worth a great pursuit.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

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It's Only Wealth

June 28, 2010

Who really means it when they say, “it’s only money.” Wealth, even if one chooses to live simply, is still pretty appealing and, I might add, comforting; to not think about the bill that is rolling around next month would be a relief. I realize there are other stresses around the edges of wealth; maintaining a state of wealth requires industry, after all. Still, if there is a pocket of wealth that one can dip into with quite a lot of reliability, I would say that would bring a certain peace of mind.

But The Book of Proverbs (in the Bible), with its usual candor, says it’s “only wealth.”

“A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.” Proverbs 11:16

This isn’t a “to be wealthy” or “not to be wealthy” kind of proverb. To be kind does not mean you won’t have wealth, but if you are the ruthless type (callous, hard-hearted, unsympathetic, unmerciful, cut-throat…) it is all you will have in the end. Maybe that is good enough for some; maybe “owning” is all they want, along with the shallow companions who trip over themselves to stand next to riches. Maybe.

A kindhearted person gains respect; that is, appreciation, sometimes admiration, followers, many times love or adoration and certainly honor. A kindhearted person is looked up to and what they say is often listened to. A kindhearted person is a pleasure to be with, refreshing others, and receiving the sort of attention due to them.

I have been the recipient of various types of kindness; far more times than I can count. My life has overflowed with simple and sacrificial acts of kindness shown to me by others. People of all ages, wealthy people, and people of little means, those I have known “forever” and some I have barely met, have extended themselves to me in so many kind ways. As I am reflecting on it, I feel privileged to the point of being embarrassed. If not for the danger of leaving someone out, I could effortlessly list 50 people who have been kind to me; and that would just be 2010.

Whether I have wealth or don’t, I can mismanage myself as much as any person who has more or less. I can be as ruthless and stingy, as self-serving or isolated, and definitely as greedy; my desires can be as insatiable; I can be as indifferent and as unconcerned with my $5 as with another’s five million.

I can also be as kindhearted. Isn’t that true? Kindness is kindness no matter if you are penniless or über wealthy. Just stop and think about it: will you only take a complement from someone who has credentials?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

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