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Surrender

February 20, 2012

Mark 8:34–39

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and
said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their
cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life
will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will
save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their
soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? If anyone is ashamed
of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man
will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy
angels.”

Jesus has gathered the people around himself to tell them
about how to be a true follower, how to be in surrender to the calling on the
people. But what does it really look like to surrender? It’s easy to say that I
will surrender to God’s plan; I will surrender to what he wants for my life.
But those are just words, and what are words without actions to follow up with.
It appears that Jesus is laying out what a person would need to do to be
surrendered to God:

- Pick up your cross

- Lose your life for the gospel

- Don’t forfeit your soul for things of this world

- Don’t be ashamed of Jesus

I don’t think that surrender comes naturally. I think that
it is only a gift, or a strength given by God. At my core I know that my desires
are sinful and selfish; we are living in the “me” generation. But, regardless
of that, we are coming up against powers much stronger than ourselves saying
not to do it… what if I get hurt, what if I lose my security, what if I die! Exactly.
What if I die?

God, I pray that I would be surrendered to your calling, but
not by my power, but by yours alone. Would I be one who would gladly carry my
cross. Would I be one who would not seek after personal gain. Would I be one
who is not ashamed of my God, Jesus, and would I be one who would be willing to
lose my life for the sake of the gospel. I cannot do this alone. When I face
the circumstances in my life that I need to make the decision, would you strengthen
my faith and my love you for, that I may easily surrender to the calling you
have on my life. Thank you for the strength you have already provided, let me
use my gifting’s and blessings well. I love you.

Kelsey

February 6, 2012

At the beginning of the month we all get our new “Reading
Guides” and follow them throughout the next month reading scripture. After I did my reading today
I spent a little bit of time focusing on the back side: Top 10 List, 3D Lives,
and Goals…

I normally just move my Top 10 people over from the last
month to the current month, toss it in my bible as a book mark and carry on. Today I kind of just let it all linger… As I wrote down my Top 10 people that need to say “Yes” to
Jesus, I thought about each one, where they were on their journey, when the
last time I saw them was, when the last time I said Jesus to them, and some
ways that I would be a stronger “Jesus” influence in their lives. Some people
on my list are very close to me like my family; I see them every day and try to
pray for their salvation every day. But then I have people on my list that I
don’t see, or won’t ever see (I don’t think) again. These people I have on my
list (there is two) so that I can pray for Jesus in their life, and I have them
there also as a reminder to FORGIVE them every day. Seventy times seven. These
are people I can be jealous of, hold grudges against that have hurt my family,
or hurt me. I NEED to pray for them.

I am really remembering how important prayer is. In today’s
readying (Matt 26) Jesus prayed to God for him to take the cup, but then after his 3 times of prayer he seems much more “at peace” with his coming death. God takes our little prayers and makes them BIG.

I don’t normally write in my Goal List, but I am going to really try this month. My first goal: pray for my top ten list daily.

God, I can’t do everything, but I can pray. The people on my
top ten list come from so many different walks of life, some of them already
know you but are struggling through some tough times and I just want to keep praying
for them. So many people on my list are family, God I so so soooooo badly want
them to come to know you. How cool it would be just to be able to celebrate and
worship you together. And God, there are people I have to pray to forgive
daily, I put them on my list because a part of forgiveness is to pray blessing
into someone’s life. I pray you would bless those two today, would they know
you, and have such a wonderful life. God, please help me to pray, help me to be
diligent in praying for those on my list. Thank you for all the people who pray
for me as well, would you bless them in abundance today.

I love you,
Kelsey

January 23, 2012

Matt 16:17:19

Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of
Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in
heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my
church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys
of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

God only used one man that was perfect to do his work.
Jesus. That’s it, just one perfect man. Everyone else was flawed and sinful.

Who God chooses to do his work is completely up to him
according to his plan:

Solomon had many, many, many wives

Jonah tried to run from God

Saul, later Paul, persecuted Christians

And Peter denied Christ three times.

All these men were used by God to adance HIS kingdom.

Jesus came for the lost. There is not one person in this
world that is too lost to be saved, too broken to be loved, or too sinful to be
used by God.

God can make all people righteous again.

It isn’t about minimizing sin. Or making it seem like “no
big deal” because you can still be used by God. Sin is still sin, it was paid
for by blood. But the sin in our lived does not stop us from being used by God –
it’s only a boulder in the road to climb over.

I can easily get caught up or focused on making sure I am
doing everything right that I sometimes feel God can’t use me unless I have
been doing really really good. This is not true.

God, I am sinful and flawed in more ways than one. But you
can use me, I want you to use me. I will never be perfect. Use the broken to
reach to broken. Send me out for I am willing

Kelsey

January 16, 2012

Matt 11:28
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Jesus is a refuge for the weary and burdened – we are all weary and burdened.

“I can handle it” – that’s kind of my life’s motto or pep talk. I say this to myself a lot, especially when the “little things” are getting to me. I view them as things that are just too small to give to God. I should be able to handle day-to-day life. But the big things – those things I hand over to God, or at least pray about. I should be able to handle the small things, right? Am I weak if I cannot handle life’s little challenges? Nope – just stupid, because if I believe in Christ and what the bible says then I should know that God wants me to give everything to him, even the smallest things: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7.
Christ knows me and cares for me. He also knows who much pressure I can handle in life. But he doesn’t want me to come to him when I am at my breaking point. Christ wants me to come to him at the first sign of pressure.

Father God, I struggle to give you all my day’s worries and burdens. I pray that you would help me to do that. It doesn’t show that I am weak, it shows that I am obedient. So today LORD I cast all that is burdening me onto you – may we carry this load together.

I love you, Amen
Kelsey

January 9, 2012

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matt 6:34

As much as I try to hide it: I’m a worrier. I worry about a lot of things: people decisions, the future! Sometimes I just can’t seem to shake the nagging worrying in my life! I just can’t seem to put it to rest.

The biggest things I worry about are almost all things I don’t have control over. Yes I am also a control freak. But this scripture is saying that I don’t need to worry – focus on today, not tomorrow.

Right now in my life that I feel I need to worry about: my wedding, my schooling, my job, my future! My world is changing, and it’s a little freaky! But still Jesus tells me not to worry.

If the person who carried the world on his shoulders and my heart in his hand, is telling me not to worry… then I think I should listen. There is a new day ahead of me… tomorrow can wait.

Jesus, you tell me not to worry, and I pray I will listen. I pray my worrying would be kept to a minimum and my trust to a maximum.

I love you,
Kelsey

December 12, 2011

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do and your plans will succeed.” Prov 16:3

I like to believe I have plans for my life – goals, ambitions, dreams…
There are many things I wish to fulfill in my life. But my worry is: are these God’s plans for my life too? Are my goals, ambitions and dreams part of God’s GREAT plan? How do I know?

LORD, I want to think about this for a while… You are the one who knows my heart more than I know it. I guess this morning my prayer is for your blessing over my life. Would my life be lead by you, my plans inspired by you, and my heart motivated by you. And God… when the plans I had start to change… I pray that I would continue to trust in you… May the plans that I have bring you honor and praise.

Amen.
Kelsey

December 5, 2011

Thought for the day:

In my family, and a lot of other families, it seems that a lot of children have visited the Children’s Hospital lately. Joshua Michael Goerzen, Madelyn Gaudette, just to name two in my life right now. Both of them amazing miracles, a true taste of God’s healing power. This made me think about the people who work at Children’s. They see miracles and tragedies every…single…day… This then lead me to think about their hearts. It made me think if many of them believe in God, and if they pray to God for healing for the children as well… This also lead to me think about their own lives, and the personal trauma they experience when a child dies at the mercy of their hands. They did their best. But God had other plans…

Today God, I pray for those who work at Children’s Hospital. You have gifted the doctors and nurses with your amazing grace. When a child is sick, you want them at Children’s because we know they will be safe there. I pray for those workers today God, would they see your glory, would they turn to you when times are tough and would you continue to equip them with the strength they need each day to do what they do, to see what they see. No child should ever be sick, but we trust them in their hands… in your hands… Be with them today.

Amen,

Kelsey

November 28, 2011

“He who has the Son has life; he who does not have to Son of God does not have life.” 1John5:12

This is clear: If the Son of God is not in the heart then there is not eternal life for the soul.

I know a lot of people who do not have the Son. A lot of family. A lot of friends. A lot of children.

This quite often makes me sick to my stomach. Not only because I desire to celebrate with them in heaven but because I am not in control of their fate. I can tell them about Jesus, I can show them love and try to lead them to the right path, but if they decide to walk it is completely up to God. The Spirit is in control of their hearts, He controls if they will love Him back. This is not in my control.

I’m a control freak.

As much as I love to have control on situations, I trust my God. Some days are harder than others, and some days I don’t trust at all, but I try.

God, your judgment is sound, and your paths are straight. You love your people and you desire for them to love you back. I pray for those in my life that do not know your love, they have not tasted life. I pray for them today, draw them close to you; use me. God I desire for their salvation, and I know you do too. So, please, bring them into the family of believers. What a wonderful day that will be, when we are all able to rejoice.

I love you,
Kelsey

November 21, 2011

“So then dear friends, since you are looking forward to [the second coming], make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.” 2Peter 3:14

I am found spotless and blameless in Gods eyes. It wasn’t by my own actions but by my relationship with Jesus; He took my place, my sin and wretchedness and replaced it with his holy righteousness.

I am frustrated now. Not with this truth, not with God… nope, just myself. I KNOW Jesus took my place – I KNOW that – and I LOVE that. I am frustrated because I keep on thinking that each day when I slip into sin that I am doomed. That if Jesus were to come RIGHT NOW, I blew it. Each day I sin: I have bitterness, selfishness, vanity, pride and arrogance and God is just waiting for me to screw up so he can come and “too bad” for me because I blew it… I wasn’t perfect… I am not perfect.

That is NOT my God.

My motivation in life is not to just avoid the dreaded “Smite Button”.

“The LORD is not slow in keeping his promise, and some understand slowness. He is patient with you. NOT WANTING ANY ONE TO PERISH, but everyone come to repentance” 2Peter 3:9

My God is full of LOVE and GRACE

God, I want to live today submerged in this truth. I don’t even want to slip back into the thought that “I blew it” because I am not perfect. I am flawed… but you don’t see that. Thank you, Jesus, for making me perfect in God’s eyes. I am so sorry God had to see my sin on you. I am so sorry. Now allow me to lead today full of thankfulness, trusting in your love.

I love you,
Kelsey

November 14, 2011

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as
braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it
should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle spirit,
which is of great worth in God’s sight” 1Peter 3:3&4

My mom used to always remind me of the saying that: “True
beauty is found on the inside” and this is quite true. Beauty doesn’t come from
how you look on the outside, but how your heart and spirit looks on the inside.
True beauty is achieved when the heart and spirit reflects God. His beauty surpasses
all.

I know for me, I hold a lot of weight on my outer beauty. I
like to wear nice clothes and do my hair up pretty. It’s quite embarrassing how
much time I can spend each day getting ready in the morning. But, it is more
important that I spend time aligning my heart with God’s than to put my face on
in the morning. Remembering that my beauty comes from the inside.

God, I pray that today you would make me beautiful. Make my
heart and my spirit reflect yours. Remind me today that my beauty isn’t in how
I look, but how my spirit is on the inside. Keep my spirit in check.

I love you,

Kelsey

November 7, 2011

“Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3

There seems to be a similar theme in today’s reading. In both Psalm 141 and James 3 the issue of the tongue is raised. In these pieces of scripture it talks about the tongue, or mouth, as being something that needs to be tamed. Our tongues need a guard; God needs to watch over our mouth, keeping the fiery tongue at bay.

It has been my pleasure to be teaching in Sunland over the past couple of months. The kids have been working on memorizing Psalm 141:3, learning about how words affect people, and helping them be good stewards of their words. It was amazing how much God was able to teach me within the times I was teaching in Sunland – he really showed me that it isn’t just the kids who need a guard over their mouths, but it was me as well. It is really important that I watch that I don’t say things I shouldn’t, or things that could hurt people, but also watching that I do say things of encouragement and compliments to show other people God’s love.

God, I do pray this morning that you would set a guard over my mouth, and that you would keep a watch over the door of my lips. From the tongue my words can bring life or death, and I would choose today to bring life. I pray that you would help me not just to say things I shouldn’t but help me say things I should. I pray that my words would bring life today.

I love you,
Kelsey

October 31, 2011

“Now faith is bring sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

This is faith, defined. In the paragraphs to follow, the author of Hebrews continues to explain what faith is by giving many examples of people from the bible and how they lived by faith. He writes about Noah, Abraham, Moses and Rahab – just to touch on a few. He writes about how they lived by faith and the sacrifices they made to follow God; continuing to live by faith. They were sure of what they hoped for, and they were certain of what they did not see. These people of the bible feared God much more than they feared the people in authority over them. But I find that faith about the future is the hardest faith.

Faith defined says that if I hope that God has a perfect plan for me, then I am sure my life will turn out exactly the way God planned. Even though I do not see my God, or my future, or what will happen next time my life, I am certain both are there and both are within a perfect plan. I find it hard to feel confident about the future, especially when it is unknown, uncertain, and risky.

The best thing to do when struggling to find faith about the future… look back. When I take the time to look back in my life and revisit how God has been faithful, how he has always protected me and cared for me, I can see his perfect plan. When I take the time to remember the times I took a leap of faith and how God provided it gives me hope. This passage if scripture is a walk through the past, refreshing the stories of people who lived by faith and how God was faithful to his promise and his people.

I am sure my God is real, and I am certain my future is planned by him and him alone.

God, there are days when my faith is shaken. There are times when I feel like I need to take control because I struggle to trust your plans. Help me to keep my faith and fully trust that where you take me in life is exactly where you want me to go. I thank you for reminding me today of your faithfulness through stories in the bible and my own life. I also thank you for the people who have taken huge leaps of faith so I may learn from them. I pray God, that today I would not worry about what the future holds for me, that I would just have faith in you and your plan for me. Guide me, lead me.

I love you,
Kelsey

October 24, 2011

When they looked up they saw no one except Jesus. Matt 17:8

Peter, James and John are taken up to a mountain where, with Jesus, Moses and Elijah appear. The men fall on their face; when they look up Moses and Elijah are gone, and Jesus is the only one they see. I am going to take this verse right out of context today, what if Jesus was the only one I saw.

If I saw no one except Jesus, I think my view on life would look a bit different. If Jesus was the only one I saw in people’s faces, would I be more diligent to serve? If Jesus was the only one I saw in the fruit of my labour, would I work harder? If Jesus was the only one I saw in my relationships, would I love deeper?

The thing is that Jesus is already there. He is in people, work, play, relationships, family and so much more. He is there, in everything. I just clog my vision with less important things and as a result I clog out seeing more Jesus.

Jesus I pray to you this morning, I beg that I would see you. I pray Jesus that when I look up I would see no one else, nothing else, except you. Jesus, be my center, be my everything. Let me look at you for guidance, perseverance and strength. Let me see only you.

I love you,
Kelsey

October 17, 2011

“The son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.” Hebrews 1:3(the beginning)

Jesus is God and so he does no reflect God but God radiates through him. God’s glory shines so bright through all of Jesus’ works. I do not have the radiance of God within me. I am a reflector of God’s glorious light. I am a mirror that God uses to shine his light; I am used to show the world the light.

God, I pray that I would have nothing in my life that would block your light from being seen. Gift me to be able to be a good reflector and representation of you light.

Make it real.
Kelsey

October 3, 2011

The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 1Tim5:5

Those of which really have lost something dear to them, left alone and struggling to make ends meet seek after God with all the strength they have left. The small things in life are seen as magnificent blessings, and not overlooked as others might.

Day and night the widow prays for help, she needs God, she can’t go on without him; she will die without him.

Will I die?

This morning I am asking myself a lot of tough questions, do I lean on God as if he is the only one I have? Do I pray night and day for God’s help, or do I try to take the reins? Do I think I can do it without him?

Every trial and hardship, every problem or time of suffering do I turn to God and pray night and day? Or am I the one who brings my problems to God AFTER I have tried everything I can?

God, this is a sad truth. So many times I don’t lean on you; I don’t turn to you or seek after your help or your strength. Does that mean I don’t trust you? Or is it that I seek after the pride I get when I solve my own problems. God I want you to be my center, I want to put my hope in you and pray night and day with prayers of requests and thanksgiving. Don’t let me overlook this. I should be praying every day, all day, fully leaning on you…

I love you,
Kelsey

September 26, 2011

And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.
2Thes 3:13

Never tire of doing what is right.
Last night I was doing some homework for my Eng100 class. My assignment was to read and compare Hamlet’s “To Be or Not to Be” and Alfred Tennyson’s “The Lotos-Eaters”. In both pieces of writing the characters are expressing the desire to “give up”, questioning if it would be easier to end “the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune” to “give us long rest or death, dark death or dreamful ease”. The characters want to escape their circumstances, escape the world, the pain and the toil.

The bible tells us to never cease doing that is right. So what happens when life is just too hard to carry on? Do we just throw in the towel?

Only sentences before Paul writes, “may the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.”

God’s love is the greatest of all, the highest, deepest, richest love of all – direct our hearts there, direct them to what is good.

Christ persevered through the pain of the cross while carrying the shame of the world. He could have stopped, but he persevered.

With God’s love in our hearts, and Christ’s perseverance no one would tire from doing what is right. No one would question life or death; they would just serve with selfless ambitions.

God, it is easy to think that this world is too much to handle, too hard to endure. But I trust that if you are truly in my heart and I am blessed with your perseverance then I can sustain through all… like Job. Lord, please give me your love today, let me love with your heart. Give me your strength to persevere all hardships today.

I love you,
Kelsey

September 19, 2011

“Some sat in darkness and the deepest of gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their troubles and he saved them from their distress.”
Psalm 107:10–13

God redeems the lives of people who have turned against him. He rescues them when they cry out his name.

God doesn’t have to consider forgiveness when people cry out for his help; he doesn’t weigh their sin in comparison to how sorry they are. No, God just forgives. He is the father, and we are they prodigal children, all he wants is for us to come back to him. All he wants is for us to love him.

This got me thinking… how often to I reap in the awesomeness of God and not give him thanks? How often am I on my face in thankfulness towards God and the fact that he is so forgiving and so loving? Am I not redeemed? So why am I not always full of praise?

Everything good is a blessing from God. You don’t have to be a follower of Christ to be blessed by God; but when you are a follower of Christ your eyes has been opened to his amazing works, and with this blessing we should always position our hearts to praise.

God you have been the redeemer from the chains of my past. I am now given the blessing to walk with you to be covered with your blood, covered with your love. So this morning God I do give you thanks for the breath in my lungs, the job you have blessed me with and my amazing friends and family. But I know all of these are a blessing from you, all of which I do not deserve, all love which you can take away. Thank you for all the blessings in my life, all the ones I can see, and the ones not yet made known to me. Let me give praise, and not receive my blessings as if I deserved them.

I love you,
Kelsey

September 12, 2011

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.”
Colossians 2:8

The world we live in today is exploding with false philosophy which has made it nearly impossible to avoid being influenced by things other than Christ himself. So what do we do?

This morning was different. More or less backwards for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I keep to a strict schedule every morning: wake up, make coffee, do my devotions, and get ready to go to work. I have done it for years, and I hardly ever break routine. Except for today.

Today I went to the gym first. Not because I wanted to switch my life up, but because I forgot my bible at the church. I feel now that God did that to me on purpose.

While I was doing my work out, I started to look around: magazines filled with gossip, dieting and fashion; headlines of home-wreckers, back-stabber and cheaters. Temping to read I admit, but I decided to watch the TV. One TV was tuned to Much Music and was playing some sort of provocative video; the news was just depressing. I was frustrated. It was a battle to not engage in what the world wants you to. The claws of the world reach out every minute of every day promoting almost everything I believe to be wrong. This is how they want me to live? It’s not the way God wants me to live.

Help

Next song on my Ipod:

“Strong Tower” by Kutless

I close my eyes and try to focus on the words, “shelter over me, beautiful and mighty, ever-lasting king”

I start to pray.

God, we cannot escape from the world. We can’t just avoid it. But you can shelter us. Every single day to world will try to pull us with false philosophy on how we should live, and it goes against what you have called us to. It’s not that we you want us to live. But LORD, you are my strong tower, fortress when I am weak, beautiful and mighty, everlasting king.

May I find refuge in you today, be my comfort and my protection.

I love you,
Kelsey

August 29, 2011

“But because of his great love for us, God who was rich in his mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.” Eph 2:4&5

It is by his grace that we can taste the sweetness of being alive. But was does it mean to be alive with Christ? What does it even mean to be alive?

Everything living moves.

Animals move, people move, trees grow and flowers bloom.

Everything alive freely moves and any direction is desires… unless there is an obstacle in its way. But even then it will move, not in the direction it necessarily wants, but it has been influenced to move in some direction by some source outside itself. Sometimes that direction is the wrong direction.

Christ is not an obstacle.

Christ gives us the proper guidance and allows us to grow and flourish within him. He gives us the freedom to be alive in him – to move within him, to rest in him, to breathe in him. We are given a choice to exercise this freedom. Christ died so that we may be alive in him, to be guided by him, comforted by him, provided by him, strengthened by him.

God, you have given me this beautiful choice to be alive in Christ, but it is a daily battle I am fighting trying to die to myself to be alive in you. I try to push my own desires to be my own leader, my own provider… but it can only be you. Wake up my heart, let it breathe in your life. I want to be fully alive in you!

Your daughter,
Kelsey

August 22, 2011

“What then, was the purpose of the law? It was added because of transgressions until the Seed to whom the promise referred had come. The law was put into effect through angels by the mediator.” Gal 3:19

God so desperately wanted.. wants… a relationship with his children so he set out the laws so we may follow them and be pure and blameless before Him. The law should not be hard to follow, for God did not give us laws we cannot live up to. He did not set the bar too high. It was placed at a height all could pass because it was placed at the bare minimum. Before Christ all the world needed to do was fight off and endure through temptations and evil urges, loving each other and living in harmony with each other.

Unfortunately the desire is too great and no one can stay true to the law. Jesus had to come to break the chains of the law and provide us with the chance to have relationship with our Creator.

The law is not something we are bound to any more, but it is now what we do to reflect the life and love of Christ. So why do I still struggle to fulfill the bare minimum?

God, this past week you have shown me so much… so much about me, about my friends, about my church and my family. Keep me strong, keep my heart fixed upon you. Continue to speak to me, open my eyes to you and what is around me. You woke me up this morning for a reason, you breathed life into me for a purpose. Show me your glory and guide me in your ways.

Your daughter,
Kelsey

August 1, 2011

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God”
2 Corinthians 1:3&4

Praise be to God who comforts us in our troubles so that we may comfort those in trouble. Cliché it is, but everything does happen for a reason, from the red light on the highway to the broken heart, from bad decisions made to decisions never made. Everything has its purpose, its place, its reason for happening. I can recall so many times where I had asked God, why? Why did this happen to me? Our story, God’s story, has been perfectly written, and what might appear to be flaws in our lives are truthfully the beautiful work of God’s hand forming us into His people, His warriors for the Kingdom.

I know that all that has happened to me in my past was to help me, and others, in my future. God allowed me to have the life I did to be able to speak truth into other’s lives because I have been there.

I have been there

He has been there

The best way to understand someone’s life is to have walked through the same circumstances, the same pain, as they have. To hear someone say, “I have been there” is so comforting, knowing someone actually knows what you are feeling and can comfort and guide you to a place of peace. I believe God has allowed us to experience troubles so that we may be able to speak into other’s lives and show God’s love.

All I can think about now is, “I have been there”… Jesus knows every feeling of shame and hurt and brokenness and trouble because when he was on the cross, He took it. His life on earth was so that He could say, “I have been there” He has seen it all, felt it all, taken it all, and conuered it all.

Jesus, you did it for me. The disgusting torture you went through was so that you could tell me, and the world, “I have been there, I know what it is like”. My heart hurts. I so desperately need your strength, you know what I feel, you know what I need. I really need you. Comfort me, Lord, so that I may comfort others in your name.

I love you,
Kelsey

July 25, 2011

“On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.” 1Corinth12:22

Any person looking for purpose should read 1Corinthians12. Packed with unshakable truth, this chapter speaks beautifully about how we are all needed. We are all needed to work together as the body of Christ. Each part of the body is valued and needed, and the weaker parts are indispensable. I am not looking for a “pick me up” verse this morning. I came into my time with Jesus looking to be, needing to be challenged and this is the verse God shows me.

Those that seem to be week are INDISPENSABLE

It is beautiful to hear how God loves us and values us, when he tells us that we have a purpose. But what about other people feeling what God feels towards other people? Do I treat people who seem to be weak like they are indispensable, or are they just an inconvenient obstacle currently in the way.

I have a very “get it done attitude” and can very easily walk over people who seem weaker, potentially hurting them. So this morning, the answer to my question would have to be no. In most cases I do not treat people who seem to be weaker like they are indispensable. This isn’t good.

God, you have shown me such an ugly truth this morning, but I know it isn’t something you can’t change about me. So today I ask that you would be willing to open my eyes to see those who may seem to be weaker and would I love them for the indispensable people they truly are.

I love you
Kelsey

July 18, 2011

“Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.” Psalm 62:12

Yes God is a loving God, who blesses his children, rewarding them… even when we think they don’t deserve it. But God doesn’t reward us for what we have done, but he will reward each person according to what He has done.

This morning I feel like crap, there isn’t really any other way to describe it, and it’s really hard not to feel this way. This is one of those times when I feel really, really sorry for the sins I have committed and continue to commit on a daily basis. I have just “passed off” all my sins to Jesus, and because of the cross he takes them. Because of this I stand before God clean, washed by the blood, covered by His grace – what a blessing it is…

Today I just feel so bad that Jesus had to do that, knowing Jesus HAD to die for me to even taste salvation. But I find that the hardest part is actually just accepting this blessing and being okay with it. I don’t deserve it, at all. But Christ will not allow me to stay in this place, that isn’t why He died. He didn’t die so I could sit here and beat myself up. He did it so I could be one with God, and not waste my time in this place, but to go out and share the love He has for me with the world.

God this really is the hardest part… picking myself up from this place. You do not mean for me to stay here, but I needed the reminder of your grace this morning. Help me to find that motivation and that fire to go and share your love and to do your work. Carry me today, please.

I love you,
Kelsey

July 11, 2011

“My message and my preaching were not with wise persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power.” 1 Corinthians 2:4

I am always in the pursuit of obtaining more knowledge and gaining more wisdom but my lack of maturity or lack of experience cannot hinder the work that the Spirit may do through me.

I’m a young person, I know that. I haven’t been in ministry for long, in fact I haven’t even been a believer for very long, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do great things. That doesn’t mean God can’t use me for great things. But that isn’t always how I feel. Sometimes I can really feel small; that because I don’t use beautiful poetic words, or because I am not a walking, talking bible I can’t be used by God like other people could be. That’s why this peice of scripture stood out to me today: it’s not me, it’s the Spirit and the work done through me.

I need not to worry about what I know, or how much I know, it’s about how willing I am to allow the Spirit to work with in me. Am I willing. Am I going to be obedient to his promptings, knowing he has full wisdom.

Spirit, you are all knowing, and I am not. But I pray that you would make my heart be an open heart, ready, eager for you to guide me and use me. Because this isn’t about me being able, it’s about me being available.

I want to be available for you to use.

I love you,
Kelsey

July 4, 2011

“Love does no harm to its neighbour. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” Romans 13:10

The talk of loving your neighbour has been popping up everywhere lately. It is everywhere, at church, in bible study, in meetings, everywhere: love your neighbour.

Go back about 12–16 years ago, back to when I was a kid growing up in my neighbourhood, I knew almost everyone. The kids and I would ride our bikes around; it was nothing to wave at someone or give them a friendly smile. What happened that would cause me to stop, life? Poor excuse. A lot of people have moved from our neighbourhood, and new people have moved in, but a lot of the people from my childhood are still here. Old friends live mere meters from me, and I haven’t said a word to them in 10 or so years. I feel like God is really trying to get me to do something here… It’s time I stretch my comfort zone, wave, and say hello. What could hold me back? Is it really that hard to say “hello”?

God, I know you are trying to say something to me, guide me in my interactions, give me words to say, and a loving heart towards my neighbours. You love them, so help me to love them too.

I love you,
Kelsey

June 27, 2011

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?”
Romans 8:35

The truth is that nothing can separate us from Christ, except Christ himself for he holds and controls our hearts. It is fact that Christ has the power to turn me away from Him and that truth is the biggest fear in my life. I do have peace in my heart that He would only do that if it would bring Him more glory, or more people would come into relationship with him.

Maybe I am just selfish of my salvation. Paul wasn’t. Paul felt so much pain that there were so many people not in relationship with Christ that he would give up his own salvation for the sake of theirs. I couldn’t do that. When I think about this I find myself trying to be a better Christian, trying to do all the right things, trying to make myself more valuable to God as if saying, “Hey God, look at how good I am, look at all I can do, you need to keep me around. I am valuable to your kingdom!” As if he doesn’t already think I am valuable…

Trying to earn my salvation again…

Brian talked about lists in his message this past Sunday, about how we make “How to” lists like “How to live the gospel” or even “How to love people properly”. Our minds are viewing life as if we need a manual to live. In his message Brian said, “We cannot will ourselves to sinlessness, we are completely at the mercy of Jesus.” It always comes back to Jesus. Every time. We don’t need the lists, there is nothing I can do that will help me keep my salvation. I don’t have to live life with a list on how to spread the gospel, or how to pray, or how to worship, all I need it Jesus – from beginning to end, I just need to love him and through that everything else flows naturally.

Jesus I love you so much, I really wish I could just hug you, for real. You really are amazing; I just want to love you forever. I am so thankful that you hold my heart – keep it forever please. Don’t let this love fade.

I love you,
Kelsey

June 20, 2011

“Why are you so downcast O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my saviour and my God.” Psalm 42:11

My soul knows what it longs for; I know the sweet taste of grace; I know what it has felt like to have my soul on fire.

Sadly, this past week has brought so much sad news. It feels like the clouds have opened up and poured out their rain on this fire inside my soul – it’s not out, but it’s small and struggling – so much pain around me has made my soul downcast. Instead of patiently waiting upon God and tending to my small flame; instead of patiently sitting in the presence of God, soaking in his righteousness and allowing my faith to guide me, I heaped large logs onto my little fire, logs too big ever to ignite. I thought I had to pray more, than to pray deeper. I thought I had to read more of the bible, than to meditate on the words placed before me. My head was down, I was focused on my task: get my heart burning for Jesus again as fast as I can. I didn’t even think that maybe in this time of downcast God might actually be trying to teach me something, slowly.

It’s not about “more”, it’s about “deeper”

God, I feel a slight pain to be learning at the sake of other people’s misfortune. It is the truth that you give and take away, you make everything work for good. Thank you for slowing me down. I need you today to give me strength, hope, faith and grace. Ignite me soul, make it burn with passion. I say these words not because they are the words to pray but because I say them out of my love for you, and out of the faith that I believe you are a good God You love your children and you provide them with what they need. I need you.

I love you,
Kelsey

June 13, 2011

Then Agrippa said to Paul, “Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?” Paul replied, “Short time or long – I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.” Acts 26:28&29

That’s not the answer I would have given.

Paul is fighting for his life, appealing to whomever they place before him. Bound because of his love for Christ, bound because of a desire to share this good news to others. It makes sharing the Gospel a little less desirable, to be chained and beaten for what you believe in. A true test of faith.

I face chains every day. They are not the tangible kind, but to me they might as well be. They are chains that my mind makes, they hold me back. The persecution of my life is fully a battle of the mind: caring too much about what people may think over the one who holds my life.

I could imagine Paul’s followers, sitting in that room hearing Paul testify for his life, cringing when they hear Paul’s answer to Agrippa’s question. I would probably be shaking my head, “yep he’s a dead man walking now.” But Paul speaks what his heart says, he doesn’t let the physical chains, or mental chains, hold him back.

I fight with these chains daily, but I never want to forfeit the truth of my faith to save me from circumstances, because every time I do it, I drive the nails deeper. I want to just sit in my pain, to have some sort of punishment for letting these chains rule my life, for causing Him so much pain, but He won’t let me.

Jesus, I make a mockery of the cross every time I chose to go against what you say for my own comfort and for the “sake of others” Please break me from my chains, the false chains the world provides.

Set me free,
Kelsey

June 6, 2011

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Patience, something I find I don’t have much of. The bible says that the LORD is slow to anger, and sadly I couldn’t say that about myself. I am a person who is quick to be irritated, quick to be angry, and quick to be to be frustrated… even with my own God. It seems funny to think that my patience can run slim with God. How can I not be patient with God’s plan when he has been so patient with me – and still is patient, even with my impatience. I pray and I want my prayers answered, like, now. I ask God a question, I want my answer, like, right now.

How can I not have time for God when he has all the time in the world for me?

God, I kinda feel like a crappy daughter right now… I struggle waiting on you, I have no good excuse – not like you need one. I don’t like waiting, for some reason it scares me, it stresses me out. LORD, help me to find peace in being patient. I have so many questions for you, and I want them answered now, I want some guidance and some peace on so many things right now so many decisions I feel I need to make; help me to be patient. You have immaculate timing LORD, help me to trust in your timing, keep me patient in all things.

I love you,
Kelsey

May 30, 2011

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid. Proverbs 12:1

I am not someone who just absolutely loves to be corrected. I really struggle when someone tells me I have done something wrong, I don’t know if it is a perfection thing or even a control thing, but I do know that I am not alone in feeling this way.

This verse brings back memories for me. It takes me back about 3–4 years ago when I first remember reading this verse. I was a very new Christian and still trying to figure everything out. I remember it standing out to me because, probably for the first time in a long time, I realized that if I truly wanted to change my life and live for God and I actually going to have to listen to the people around me when they corrected me. I am not talking about being corrected over the spelling or grammar errors that I seem to be infamous for, but the big stuff like the way I was living and my selfishness. My walls were going to have to come down and I was actually going to have to listen to people; they were only trying to help. But I wasn’t going down without a fight.

It is interesting to see where my heart was a couple years ago and where it is now. Although I am not eager to be disciplined, and I am not excited when someone tells me I am wrong, but I feel…. I hope… that I handle discipline better, taking all things to heart, striving to gain more knowledge. It is still my gut reaction to fight against someone who tells me I have done something wrong, but I really want to change that.

Jesus, thank you for what you have done in my life; thank you for the changes you have made in my heart. Help me to grow more submissive to your guidance and your teaching. You only mean the best for me

I love you,
Kelsey

May 23, 2011

They will proclaim his righteousness to people yet unborn – for he has done it. Psalm 22:31

I didn’t feel the need to dive into the parallels between this Psalm and the death of Jesus. All I can seem to focus on today is the truth that Jesus has done it, Jesus has conquered the grave. I found myself really asking the question, what does that mean to me, and how should it effect my life.

If I was to live my life exercising in the full freedom that Christ provides would my life look different than how I am currently living? If it is different, then why? I am just left with questions today, questions on how I live my life and if I am embracing the fullness of Christ and what my life would look like if I did.

Jesus, you have provided me with an amazing freedom through your death and resurrection. Show me today how to live my life in the full freedom you provide.

I love you,
Kelsey

May 16, 2011

Proverbs 1:20–33 (mini guide)

Wisdom calls in the streets, but what does her voice sound like? I sat on these verses for some time this morning.

I love them.

The speech Wisdom cries out about accepting knowledge, fearing the LORD and the fruit of all our decisions is so full of teachings. This is where I drew a blank.

What can I take from this today? How can this make me change my life to be more gospel focused. What am I going to do today that comes from this devotional time?

Then Wisdom, she called: The world cannot fear the LORD if they don’t know he is there to fear. Of course the world spurned the rebuke, they don’t know what they did to deserve a rebuke.

Wisdom can scream as loud as she wants but if people don’t know her voice, if they don’t know God’s voice, her cries will fall on deaf ears and no lives will be impacted.

LORD, do not let me reject the knowledge that comes from Wisdom; let me hear her cries. Use me today to help those who cannot hear her cries. But before I show them Wisdom, may I show them you. Let them fall in love with you like I have; tune their ears to hear Wisdom’s beautiful cry. Break my heart for those people who our blind deaf and lame: Blind towards you, deaf towards your teaching and lame towards your calling

I love you,
Kelsey

May 9, 2011

Then they prayed, “LORD, you know everyone’s heart. Show us to which of these you have chosen
Acts 1:24

The disciples are choosing to whom will replace Judas to once again have twelve disciples. Before they cast lots they pray to God, “LORD you know everyone’s heart” The LORD knows our hearts, he knows our desires, he knows our motivations, and he knows our secrets.

Have I ever prayed for something I didn’t want to happen? Did I every pray a prayer when my heart didn’t agree with the words I was saying? Maybe it was out of bitterness and I didn’t want my enemy to succeed. Or maybe it was out of hurt when I prayed for a blessing upon someone’s life when I really wanted them to suffer?

Why do we even pray at all? God already knows our hearts, he already knows what he is going to do. Why do we pray prayers we don’t believe will happen, are we just acting? Does it really matter? Will our bitter hearts really soften? It is bound to happen eventually so why bother to pray? If the sick child is dying are my prayers really going to change God’s mind to take her home?

Prayer is something I fought with for a very long time. I believe God is God and he will do what he wants whether I pray for it or not. But the truth is God IS God, he is God of the whole universe and he wants to see my tiny little heart poured out before him. He wants to hear me say what moves my to tears, what makes my heart feel. He wants to hear me fight through my bitterness, he wants to hear my frustrations, he wants to know my conerns, my fears, my hopes and my dreams. My God just wants me to spend time with him, talking. Yes God already knows what he is going to do, but through the pouring out of our hearts in prayer we give God the opportunity to fill us up with his love.

LORD, my God, I have so much on my heart today. So much that I have yet to bring before you in prayer. It is easy for me to pray what is on my list to pray about, but today I want to just pray for what I feel. I want to look past my prayer check list that I pray so robotically, this morning I want to pour out what is on my heart. Guide our conversations this morning and allow my heart to be lain before you, open to the work you need to do.

I love you,
Kelsey

May 2, 2011

“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them and will continue to make your known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” John 17:25&26

It brings me a lot of pain to know that some of the closest people to me are the farthest from God. They are not in him and do not experience his love.

Sometimes I question God. I question what he does, why he does what he does and why does he bring some people into his kingdom and why some aren’t. I get really scared sometimes to think that my family won’t be with me in heaven. I found myself asking God is he even loved my family. Did he forget about them? Why have their hearts not changed.

God loves my family more than I could ever imagine. He created them and he loves everything about them. Who am I to doubt the love of God?

Today I pray, because that is all I can do… it’s all up to God

Righteous Father, though my family doesn’t know you, I know you, and I know your love for me and I know your love for my family. Lord would you reveal yourself to them in order that the love you have for me may be in them. But not my will, but yours.

I love you,
Kelsey

April 25, 2011

“I lie down and sleep; I wake up because the LORD sustains me.” Psalm 3:5

Each night, I crawl into my bed and fall asleep. The morning draws near and it is time to get up. Sometimes I don’t want to get up, not because I want to sleep in, but because I know what is out in the world, I know the pain I am going to feel, I know that today is going to be another day of war and frankly, I just want a break. I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to look into another child’s eyes and see the pain from all the bullying. I don’t want to hear about another couple getting a divorce, I don’t want to hear about another teen having pre-marital sex, and I definitely don’t want to hear about death. Just shut the door, stay in bed and hopefully the world will just fade away…

Definition of sustain:
1.To support
2.To keep going
3.To uphold as valid

Reading my bible is the first thing I do every morning, because when I spend time with my Saviour I am reminded why I even get up in the morning. I don’t get up on my own strength; I get up because my God supports me. I don’t fear the trials placed before me today because I know my God keeps me going. I am not going to give up this fight because I know God upholds me as valid and he has given me a purpose and a reason to get up and get out and fight the good fight. I get up because my God is my everything and he makes me get up each morning and tell the world of His great love!

Father, fill me up! Sustain me today! Make the fire in my heart burn so bright that it just cannot be contained! I got my armour on, let’s go to war.

Love,
Kelsey

April 18, 2011

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “Before Abraham was born, I am!” John 8:58

“I am” not “I was”

Jesus isn’t just a “now” or a “then” he is an “always” Always has, always will.

Today the words “I am” seem to hold more meaning than they used to. I was always a little confused when Jesus answered, “I am”. I felt like Jesus was making a grammar error, an incomplete sentence. I felt like there should have been more words to make His answer complete. But the truth is all Jesus needed was two words, two words with so much meaning behind them

“I AM”

The idea of God being everywhere at all the time in every circumstance always baffled me. Yesterday Brian preached on how “God was there first”. It is true, God was… is… in every circumstance, in every situation well before we are. When we question God’s hand or God’s presence in our life or in the lives of others the truth is that God was there first, before anything happened.

My prayer today would be that you Jesus would give me peace and hope. Help me to trust that your hand is in everything. You were working in my life before it ever started. You were there first, you are there now and you will be there till the end.

You ARE

I love you,
Kelsey

April 11, 2011

“He must become greater; I must become less” John 3:30

There is a sign on a 7-day Adventist church currently out in Rutland that reads, “Give God what is right and not what is left”. At first I didn’t get it, I kinda just thought it was another silly church billboard until I thought a litter deeper than the directions left and right: Give God what is rightfully His, not just the small scraps of life that feel like extra’s in our life and we wouldn’t mind giving them up. Kinda like dropping the spare change from the ash tray into the offering bucket instead of the $20 bill in the wallet. Or giving some spare time to help the needy, but only if there is time to do that, because there are things that I would rather do first, and if time runs out… oops, oh well.

When I try to take more control over my life, I become bigger and I make God smaller. I don’t surrender to Him what is rightfully His and I start to play a self-centered God of my own life, heading down a road of doom decorated with puppies and ponies and flowers – I am in control after all..

We love the image of control in our lives. I love to think I have control over what happens in my life, I am a control freak after all. But I just see the small picture, I don’t see the future, I don’t see the ripple effect, I don’t know how my life is going to play out, no matter how big I try and make myself in my life I can’t see what is going to happen in the next minute. All I am doing is blocking God from the life that is rightfully his. Because if I play the role of God in my own life then there was no reason for Jesus to die the way He did. But the truth is I need Jesus, I need what He sacrificed. He didn’t give me what was left. He gave me everything that he was, to die on a cross because it was right. It was what needed to be done for me to be with Him.

Jesus, I can’t pay you back for what you did. There is no debt in my life – but it isn’t my life, you bought it with the price of your blood. So God I do pray that I would become less so that you may become greater. Let me give you what is right and not what is left, understanding what what is right is a sacrifice in my life. Don’t let me take the image of control, but let me be the daughter you created me to be, to love you, to worship you and to tell the world of your great love.

I do love you,
Kelsey

April 4, 2011

How often do people pull a “Peter”, claiming to stand by Jesus through thick and thin but at the time their faithfulness if tested they retreat back into the holes in their hearts. Talking the talk but unable to walk the walk.

In Luke chapter 22 Peter claimed, “LORD I am ready to go with you to prison and to death” (v.33) but just like Jesus said he would, Peter denied him three times before the rooster crowed.( v.34&56–62)

Peter didn’t have a sword held to his throat, (not saying that you are allowed to deny Jesus under these circumstances either) he was questioned by common people, people just warming up by a fire yet he still denied being with Jesus. In a day and age where Christians are not persecuted, well in North America at least, people would think that more Christians would be able to walk the walk that they would be able to follow through with their promises of faithfulness towards Jesus. We do face a strange persecution much different than that of different countries or that from Bible times. People today face a persecution of reputation. For a lot of people, their reputation and stature in this world is more valuable than their faithfulness to Jesus, they may claim they love Jesus, but they keep a special hole in their hearts for their love of themselves.

Jesus, I can be so much like Peter at times, claiming to have an unshakable faith but as soon as some pressure comes I retreat and crumble. I pray that my heart would be so full of you LORD that I would have no room to retreat back and that I would stay strong and firm in my faithfulness, that I would not just talk the talk I would proudly walk the walk. Fill up my heart.

I love you,
Kelsey

March 21, 2011

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body or what you wear. Life is more than foo and the body more than clothes.”

If I think about my life, how often do I spend my time worrying? A couple hours a day? More? Less? Needless to say, we all worry. It may be about small things or big things – everyone worries! But the bible says to cast your worries upon the Lord because he will provide all that we need. “What we NEED…” need… What we need isn’t always what we want. I find my self worrying about that a lot, what if what I think that what I need is different than what God KNOWS I need.

Time spent worrying is time poorly wasted. Verse 25, no hour are added, nothing has changed, our problem is still there and we have just wasted our time that could have been spent on God is spent on the world.

God, you know that I will continue to worry, it will happen. But I pray that when I do, I would be able to look to the Lord and direct my focus upon Him. 34For where your treasure is, there you heart is also.

Lord, be my treasure

I love you,
Kelsey

March 14, 2011

“Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:47

If I had to say what my favourite bible story was, I would have to say it would be the one about the prostitute who pours out her perfume on Jesus’ feet. This story about surrender and sacrifice for Jesus is beautiful. I can’t help but think that in that moment all she saw was Jesus, she didn’t even care who was in the room or who was watching her – she didn’t even care that it was feet she was kissing, but she was at the feet of the King, the one who had washed all her sins away. The alabaster jar of perfume was worth about a years’ worth of wages, probably her meal ticket, and she poured it out for him – she really surrendered it all, but it was her way to say thank-you for what he had done for her.

There are two, both very beautiful, kinds of faith: the kind of faith that someone has from their childhood, they have kept strong, but never have they fallen away from God. Then there is the kind of faith that comes from someone who has walked the path of sin without acknowledging that God is there and then he reveals himself and his beauty and they come to faith. The first kind of faith has sin in their life, everyone does, sin is measure on one scale, but if it wasn’t they would be classified as “Little Sinners” being forgiven for taking an extra cookie from the cookie jar. The second sinner would be classified as a “Big Sinner” living in adultery, drunkenness, and if you were to write down all the sins that the second sinner committed, the list would be a lot longer than the firsts.

You can only love others as much as you have been loved. Jesus loves us no matter what we have done, if we have been a “Little Sinner” or a “Big Sinner” (which I know is not theologically sound) but when you have experienced the “Big Sinner” life and then you realize you have been forgiven of everything and they he STILL loves you, it actually hurts, well for me it did.. still does. When I felt for the first time what forgiveness felt like, when Jesus told me that all my sin was washed away, I felt sick, I knew I didn’t deserve it, my sin held him to the cross and he forgave me for doing that. Why wouldn’t I bow down and kiss his feet, why wouldn’t I pour out all I had for him. He made me clean. I have been forgiven greatly.

Do I love like I have been forgiven greatly – does the love that I show, show how much I have been loved? Do I love others the way that I have been loved?

Jesus, do not let me live my life taking for granted what you have done for you, you let me approach the throne unclean. You touched me and made me clean. You erased so much, I didn’t deserve it, I am so unworthy, but you washed my sin away regardless. I have been forgiven. Lord, your love me, much more than I know, let me show the love that you have granted me with. Let me love recklessly with confidence, I have been forgiven much- let me love much.

I love you,
Kelsey

March 7, 2011

Luke 2:41–50
Mary and Joseph have taken Jesus to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival, but this time when they leave to go back home, they forget Jesus.

I love Mary, I really do. There has been a bunch of times when I felt like the task God was giving me was too big for me to handle and then I somehow mess everything up and I wonder why God ever picked me in the first place if He knew I was just going to fail. That is why I love Mary so much, she has been given the task of raising the SON OF GOD and then she loses him!

First off I can only imagine Mary’s reaction when she was told she was going to give birth to the king of the universe, and that she was going to have to raise him. I would personally tell God he was crazy and to find someone else, but Mary bites the bullet and takes on the task ready to endure to hardship of raising the king.

There are parents who are oober protective of their children, I think that if I was to raise the king of the universe, I would put him in a giant bubble with GPS locator in it. Just in case. Not Mary, she actually doesn’t even look for him when they are leaving Jerusalem, she just assumes that he is with some other people in their group.

I wonder what it felt like the second she realized she had forgotten Jesus. “I’m a bad mom”.
I am not a mom, but I do feel like it, caring for kids every day, and the second you realize you have done something wrong, the stomach drops and those evil words creep in, “You are a bad mom” or in my case, “You are a bad daycare lady” it is by far one of the worst feelings- feeling like you failed not only yourself, the kid, and in my case the parents too. Sometimes when that happens I think about Mary and her losing Jesus, and compare it to the fact that I had only forgotten a birthday, or broken a kids craft. I then realize that it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to mess up, God has intended for it to happen, we are to learn. God allowed Jesus to stay in Jerusalem, God was using Jesus there. Now I don’t feel like God is saying, “let the little children run around and do whatever they want, I will protect them.” No, I do believe I have a responsibility as a caretaker to protect the children the best I know how, but I don’t do it alone. God is there and sometimes He is going to make me mess up, He is going to allow me to fail. I don’t fail because I suck, or because I am a bad person, I fail because God has allowed me to fail to teach me something, and then He gives me a choice to choose whether I am going to learn from my mistakes or to keep thinking He has done a crappy job. That what it comes down to, when I think I suck, or I think I am a failure, I am actually thinking God sucks and he is a failure, because if I really believe he is in control of everything, then he is in control of my failure too. God is making me into the woman he wants me to be, failure and all.

LORD I do pray that when my foot slips, when I fall down and when I fail that I would just look to you because I know it’s okay and that you are going to teach me something from it. Don’t ever let me forget that.

I love you,
Kelsey

February 28, 2011

“Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back – whether in the evening or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch’” March 13:35–37

Jesus is talking about the ends times, and when the Messiah will return. Explaining that no one will know the date and time and that only the Father knows and he didn’t even tell Jesus or the angels so there isn’t a chance that he is going to tell us. That is why this story is so important. We will NEVER know when Jesus is coming back. It says in the bible. God isn’t going to tell us, so we need to be prepared because he could return at any moment.

What if Jesus came today? I suddenly felt panicked, I am not prepared. But didn’t Jesus ask me to be ready? Hmm..

If I look at my life, am I really living my life in anticipation of Jesus’ return, or am I just “living”. I find myself living in the mindset, “There’s always tomorrow” but what if there wasn’t a tomorrow, what if there was just today. Am I living my life like it is my last?? And I living the life God calls me to live: loving others, forgiving, serving, repenting, worshiping, living my life so obedient to having a deeper relationship with my creator, am I living to proclaim His name, to spread the gospel, to share with others the love Jesus has to offer?

I feel like a crappy Christian. I don’t live my life like that. If Jesus came today, I know I wouldn’t be ready. But I am not meant to be left feeling like I have failed; Jesus has given us such an amazing gift: grace. His mercy is new EVERYDAY and it is only by the power of the Spirit that our hearts are filled with passion for are a deeper, more intimate relationship with our creator. So at the beginning of each day, and before any other prayer is said, Spirit I pray for you to stir in me, feed the flame inside of me and give me a deeper passion to know you and follow your ways.

God, I want to thank you so much for your patience with me, you know I am not perfect- you didn’t make me perfect. Thank you, because through my imperfection your perfection shines. Give me strength, give me desire, give me passion so that today, and every day, I may live my life like it is my last. Keep me pure, keep me obedient, captivate my heart and never let it go.

I love you,
Kelsey

February 21, 2011

“If any of you are ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of you when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels” Mark 8:38

When I read this piece of scripture this morning, I felt as if I had been physically hit with these words and I was left, winded, looking at my life.

Jesus is speaking to the crowed, calling them to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow him. Jesus speaks in parables for most of his teaching using imagery to help the listener follow along. But this time he doesn’t. Jesus, using plain language, clearly says they whoever loses their life for him and for the gospel will save it. But whoever tries to save their life will lose it. Jesus is so blunt to this crowed, maybe he is agitated because he has just been rebuked by Peter, a mere human who does not have in mind the concerns of God. I wonder if Peter thought back to this teaching who he denies Jesus, when he is ashamed to speak out boldly for the gospel. In his time of pressure, Peter retreats back into the world.

I sit and look at my life. When someone has asked me if I believe in Jesus, I have never said no, I have always been true to the fact that I believe, but how many times have I been given an opportunity to share the word of Jesus and proclaim the gospel but have keep my mouth shut. I find myself defending my actions, “I might offend them” or “I might make them feel uncomfortable”. I make up these lame excuses to cover up the fact that sadly… I can be ashamed.

Jesus, I feel like you have just sucker punched me in the stomach. Why wouldn’t I want to share the amazing love you have to offer? I know, as I carry on with today you are going to present me with opportunities to be bold and to proclaim your name. Will I shy back and be quiet, ashamed of you, or will I step out in my faith and stop caring what the world thinks because frankly if allow someone to go to hell because I was too scared to tell them about Jesus then I guess I never really loved them in the first place. I know my opportunity is waiting, outside my bedroom door and up the stairs… Lord I beg you to guide me, soften their hearts and let me lean not on my own understanding, but fully on you because I don’t have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns. Just like Peter…

I love you,
Kelsey

February 14, 2011

Then he looked at those seated in the circle around him and said, “Here is my mother, and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and my sister and mother.” Mark 3:34&35

Jesus is told that his mother and brothers re looking for him. His answer is defiantly unexpected. Instead of saying, “Send them in, here I am!” He begins to say that everyone is his mother, brothers and sisters. One big family. The family of Christ.

I love my family, my mom, my dad and my sister. I have been blessed with such an amazing family, although they are not a part of Christ’s family I love them without a doubt and I would do anything for them. But if everyone who does God’s will is part of one big family then shouldn’t I love everyone in Christ’s family like my own? I love my family with unconditional love, they are my family, even if sometimes I don’t like them, I will always love them.

I defiantly don’t love everyone as if they were my part of my family. I struggle to love people with unconditional love.

God, you are love. You are they creator of love. Fill me with you so that I can love people with your love. May I love them with you unconditional love. The love you freely offer.

I love you,
Kelsey

February 7, 2011

I didn’t know what piece of scripture to write on this morning, Mathew 26 was full of beautiful teachings and so many verses were jumping out at me. At first I was going to write about the woman who pours perfume on Jesus. (Matt 26:6–13) Her sacrifice and love for Jesus is remarkable, pure and simple beauty. Then I was going to write about Jesus’ prayers to His father, the heaviness of His soul and His surrender to God’s will (Matt 26:39&42). Then I thought I would write about the sting Peter would have felt after the rooster crowed (Matt 26:75).

As I sat, thinking, I could see one recurring theme: obedience. The woman’s sacrifice to Jesus was in such obedience when she poured out perfume that could have fed her for a year. Let alone she didn’t even flinch when the disciples questioned her actions, all she saw was Jesus. She gave Jesus everything, literally.

Jesus says the His soul was heavy. What does He do? He gives it to His Father. Jesus doesn’t want to do what He is going to have to do but He doesn’t pray, “Father, take this all away”, He prays for God’s will to be done, “Yet not as I will but as you will”. Jesus is so obedient to His calling, He keeps His heart fixed on the Father and follows through with what the scriptures had said will be done.

Peter claims that he will hold his faithfulness to Jesus, even if it means death. But Peter couldn’t even keep his obedience to that promise when he is asked the first time, “You were also with Jesus of Galilee?” Have you ever done something, and didn’t really realize what you had done until someone points it out to you and it absolutely KILLS you to realize what you have done, your heart just sinks. The rooster did that for Peter, it reminded him of the promise he has just broken, and his unfaithfulness to Jesus. I know, I have.

I could pray a simple prayer today, “Jesus, make me more obedient” then close my laptop and go to work. I can carry on with my day without actually doing anything different. Praying to the God most high can truly move mountains, there is no doubt that prayer is important, that God hears prayers and that he answers prayers. But a prayer for obedience is not a prayer that is just said and no action is taken. Action must be taken. So God, I don’t just pray for obedience, I pray for opportunities to be obedient in all that I do, and by the power of the Spirit I would be able to keep my obedience. I want to love you, and pour all my perfume out on your head. And like Jesus, when my soul is heavy, will I look up to you and pray for your will in my life. Make me fall even more in love.

I love you,
Kelsey

January 31, 2011

But when the chief priests and teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the son of David,” they were indignant. “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, ‘From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise’?” Matt 21:15–16

Something I love about children is their pure fascination about the world, the simplicity of a bug on the ground, a bird in the sky or even just the pebbles along the walkway. Children have this amazing ability to focus, they lock onto something and it is almost impossible to break their focus. For some that is video games, some it’s a book, some it’s the craft table, but each kid has it.

The most beautiful thing about this passage is that these children are so focused on Jesus that they are singing praise to him in the temple courts. I am not a theology major, and I don’t know, well… anything about the rules of the temple courts so I am only guessing when I say that children shouldn’t have been shouting in the temple courts, because the chief priests and teachers of the law were “indignant”. But I don’t think these kids cared about their surroundings, or who was watching them, because they were watching Jesus, and that was the only thing that mattered in their life for that moment. They were fixed on Jesus, not because he is all H-core flipping tables and such a couple verses up. No, they are fixed on Jesus because he IS Jesus. He is their God and they know that, their gaze will not be broken.

Do I have an unbreakable gaze fixated upon Jesus? Or is my gazed swayed by the “chief priests” and “teachers of the law”. How often will my gaze be pulled away from Jesus? How often will the world sneak in and try to sway me away from my God?

Today, I know that the world will try and pull away my gaze, distractions will come, the enemy will tempt, but it is only by the Spirits’ power that my gaze will be locked onto the eyes of my Saviour. So LORD I pray that I would be so fixed on you, that nothing would break my focus. That you would reveal to me when I am being pulled away. Would I give you ordained praise today!

I love you, and even when I am blind, I know you love me too,
Kelsey

January 24, 2011

Matt 16:21
“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.”

Jesus knew that his life’s purpose was to die a horrific death. He knew how his life would end. He knew that his surrender would bare that weight of the world and his obedience would make up for our lack of obedience. He would have to suffer so we did not have to taste the fate of our sin. So when Jesus asks us to take up our own cross (Matt 16:24) and surrender our life to the King who has paid fully for it, why don’t we?

I don’t know what kind of death God has planned for me, so why do I think that the tighter I hold onto my life the safer it is? I don’t know what will happen today or tomorrow or, 10, 20, 30 years down the road. Jesus faced death so we don’t have to. Can I not just accept that and just live recklessly for God?

I am reminded of the girl from Columbine. She stared down the barrel of a gun and made a beautiful sacrifice for Jesus. The gun holder asked her, “Do you believe in God.” She picked up her cross and said yes. Her life was laid down for Jesus.

LORD, I am not staring down the barrel of a gun, yet I struggle to lay down my life, I struggle to carry my cross. I know that if I hold on to my life that I will lose it, but not just on earth, for eternity. Above all things I want to be with you, forever helping me to make choices in my life that will bring me closer to you. Take hold of my heart

I love you,
Kelsey

January 17, 2011

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”
Matt 11:28

Well that sounds nice. We just need to give Jesus all of our worries and it will be all better. If we just give all the stuff on our shoulders, the stuff that weighs us down, and put it at the foot of the cross, Jesus will deal with it. He wants all our burdens, He can handle it, He died for it. When we can surrender our life into Christ’s hands, we can trust it is in a safe place.

If surrendering the burdens in our life were only that easy… When we surrender our burdens and worries to Jesus, he needs to actually take them from our lives. Am I willing to let Him? I don’t know how I feel about Him taking these things from me. Maybe they have become confortable to have them around, maybe they have attached themselves to my heart and if Jesus takes them it will rip my heart and I will be left feeling hurt and confused. I don’t know if I am ready to let go. I don’t know if I am ready to give it up, I don’t want to hurt right now.

Why do we have this strange attachment to the things that burden us? Do we really believe that God will take away our pain and worries away? Can he really fill the emptiness in our hearts? Or, I don’t really want to give up some of the burdens in my life simply because I don’t have enough faith in God, and that he will actually help me and satisfy me. Is He REALLY enough?

LORD, you know exactly what burdens haunt me every single day. You speak to me and tell me to lay it down at the cross. But can I do it? No. It is only by your power and your grace that allows my heart to surrender. So God, I believe that you are what is best for me, tell my heart that and allow me to just let it go.

I really do love you, a lot.
Kelsey

January 10, 2011

Matt 10:19(b)&20
“Do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say for it will not be your speaking but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

For the past two days there has been this recurring message really hitting me heart: invest in relationships. Two nights ago I picked up a book I hadn’t read in a while and just started where I had left off. The title of the chapter was “Invest” and it spoke on investing in the people in our lives and loving them, putting an effort to give your time and care about what is going on in other people’s lives. I jotted down a couple notes, closed my journal and carried on with my day. Yesterday at church we sat at round tables and Brian Hawkins spoke on the kingdom of God and relationships, investing in others even at the inconvenience to us. Just like Brian said in his message, “I am good at walking along side people, when they walk the direction I want them to walk. I am good at loving people, but only when it is convenient to me.” I don’t actually mind going out of my way for people all that much, but I want there to be a good reason why I am sacrificing, as if looking to get something out of it for myself.

One of my biggest concerns for investing in people like my non-believing friends or my family is: What if I say the wrong thing. What if I mess up and they get a bad impression on God. What if I offend them? But I think todays scripture speaks it all: if I keep my heart open to the movement of the Spirit to guide my actions and guide my words then it isn’t by my words that people may get to know God, but by His words would they come to know Him.

God, my prayer today would be that I would not get in the way of the work that you would want to do in the lives around me through me. Would you not allow me to try and take control, help me to surrender to your Spirit and your ways. You know where people’s hearts are at, I don’t, so please guide me today and every day.

I love you,
Kelsey

January 3, 2011

Gen 1:3
‘Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light’

Let there be light. I can only think of Matthew 5:14–16: “You are the light that gives light to the world. A city that is built on a hill cannot be hidden. And people don’t hide a light under a bowl. They put is in a lampstand so the light shines for all the people in the house. In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and so will your father in heaven.”

Pardon for the large scripture reference, but I cannot over look this plain and simple truth: God made light, Jesus was the light of the world when He was here and now we are called to be light unto the world. This recurring reference to “light” is found all through the bible. When God speaks, he always has something important to say, and when God says something over and over again it must be really, REALLY important.

Today, I don’t see Genesis 1:3 light as the sun, or a lamp. I see this light more as a light of love, of boldness, and of faith. We are not called to be a silent generation; God does not call us to keep our faith in him a secret! The world that surrounds us is full of darkness, and we are very little stars amongst a very dark sky, but we can shine really, really bright. God, you are calling us to be a light in our families, our communities, and in our nation, so God I pray that I would not hold back my light, that I would shine my light boldly knowing that it is something you have called me to do.

God, some days my light is dull, it feels as if it is being swallowed up by darkness and there is no hope. But Lord, it is only by your power that my light can shine bright. I pray that today, and each day, people would see my light shine, and they would see my love for you as well. Help me to do this

I love you,
Kelsey

December 27, 2010

Psalm 149:4
“The LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory”

Being humble before God and before eachother is something that brings joy and delight to God. But humility doesn’t come easy. Especially for me.

Being humble is one of the hardest things for me to achieve. I like the be strong, I don’t like to be soft and weak. I would honestly rather be known for how strong I was rather than how humble I was. Sad I know.

I like to be right, and I like people to know when I am right. I deffinatly don’t like to admit it when I am wrong.

I can be very passionate, I like to give my best, my 110%. I like the think that I complete all tasks handed to me with perfection and enthusiasm. I don’t like to give up, or surrender.

Ask me to admit when I am wrong, Ask me to be the first to say sorry, Ask me to humble myself. It is so much harder than that, especially for me: I don’t like to, I don’t want to. Humbling yourself can bring humiliation, and that I passionatly fear.

God, I don’t want my pride to hold me back for the work you call me to. When you call for me, I want to be willing, unafraid, and ready to serve you. Jesus, you suffered the worst humiliation, help me to follow in your footprints: to live fearlessly, boldly and recklessly serving the Most High. Don’t let my fears hold me back from being closer to you.

I love you,
Kelsey

December 20, 2010

“His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor His delight in the power of human legs, the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in His unfailing love” Psalm 147:10&11

How many times have I tried to serve God and please Him with my actions. There is something inside of me that desired to hear Him say, “well done my good and faithful servant.”

I feel like a little girl, who has been working really hard on on a school project and I just can’t wait to show my father. I want to show him how good I am, and how hard I have worked. I want him to be proud of me. So I run to my father, “Daddy, Daddy! Look what I have done, don’t you like it? See how hard I have worked?” Eagerly awaiting his aproval. It is as if he only glances at my creation and smiles back at me. Like a loving father should, he invites me up onto his lap and tells me how much he loves my work, but then, he points to my heart and says, “my delight in found in here, and when this is focused on the good and true things. It is good to work hard, but the harder you work is not going to change how I feel about you, I love you and it brings me delight when you love me too.”

God, you are my father, and no amount of work can ever change how your feel about me. You love me because you love me, because you love me, for no other reason than that: you love me. Help me to always remember that it does not bring you delight when I try to impress you with all my hard work, that you find joy when my heart is fixed on you. Help me to fix my heart on you today.

I love you
Kelsey

December 13, 2010

Psalm 145:16 “You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.”

My question is: what are my desires? Seeing how this verse is from the Psalms, a collection of poems, I know that this verse can not be taken at face value. God is not going to open his hands and give everyone that desires a brand new car, a brand new car. And I sadly don’t see Him paying off everyone’s visa bill any time soon.

Today my heart is focusing on a different desire, a personal desire. I have been created with a hunger to know my creator, my father. He has placed a special desire inside of me that causes me to seek after Him, a desire to know Him more. God has placed many desires inside of my heart that only He can fulfill.

Every woman wants her man in shining armor, she wants a man who can fight for her, who desires her and who loves her. I know I have spent so many years seeking after my “knight in shinning armor” to sadly have my heart crushed and be left disappointed and hurt. It is so easy to fill the void in our heart with worldly things, to focus on things that “numb” our true desires. But it is inevitable, if we don’t satisfy our desires with the living God, we will fail. There is, has always been and will always be only one who can satisfy the desires of the heart: Jesus. When we seek after other things, they don’t satisfy us, they numb us and make our wounds deeper and more painful.

So Jesus, I know I wont be satisfied until I find everything you are. So help me seek after you. Trial and error has shown me that it is only your heart that can satisfy mine. I want to know you more.

I love you.
Kelsey

November 29, 2010

Ezekiel 48:35 “The distance all around will be 18,000 cubits, and the name of the city from that time on will be:
THE LORD IS THERE”

God mapped out the blue prints for this city. Everything was specifically designed just as God wanted it to be. And the bity would be called: The Lord is There”

God is everywhere. Sometimes it is hard to believe that God is everywhere in our lives. But He is still there when we can’t feel Him, when we don’t feel His presence. He never left. He never leaves. People leave, God doesn’t.

God is in Kelowna. God is in us. We can trust God because He never leaves. But it takes faith to believe that. And our faith is tested all the time. It takes a whole lot of faith when you pray a prayer and God doesn’t answer it they way you want Him to. Or when you ask for God’s presence and you don’t feel it, or when you ask for God’s hand and you don’t see it. There is no answer can be given as to why God does what He does. There is only a peace that comes when you truly believe that God is always there, His plans for us are good: even when we can’t see it. That is truth.

There is only one thing I can do today: cling to the cross, and trust that God knows what He is doing.

God, it says in your word that we should be thankful for the testing of our faith because it brings perserverance. Help me to perservere. Each day my faith is going to be pushed and tested: help me to cling to you, because it is only by your power that faith exists in my life.

I love you, keep me close,

Kelsey

November 22, 2010

Ezekiel 42:20
“So he measured the area on all four sides. It had a wall around it, five hundred cubits wide to separate the holy from the common.”

I will admit, I didn’t think I was going to get anything out from today’s reading: building blue prints aren’t really my fancy. But then these last 7, “to separate the holy from the common”.

Today, reading this, I got quite frustrated. What makes someone more holy than the next? Who even decides that? I know things like wisdom and knowledge can be measured, but holiness? Would that be graded on how many hours are spent in prayer, how they talk, how many big holy words they say, how about how many good deeds they do?
Segregation bothers me. Jesus tore the curtain when He died (Luke 23:45) this allowed ALL to be close with God.

Back then, people were segregated on their holiness, their gender, their income and their race. Has anything changed? Okay, it has improved, but still today we segregate ourselves, and we can do it without even realizing it. Ouch, how often do I?

Jesus, there is going to be a day, when we are all standing together, equal. We will be standing in front of you, clean of all sin, of all discrimination, of all hatred and all pain. How beautiful that day will be, the day when our sin nature doesn’t try and take over and cause us to judge, the day we truly love each other, the day when we can accept each other for who we really are, children in Christ.

I love you,
Kelsey

November 15, 2010

Ezekiel 36:25
“I will give you a new heart and out a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

God wants us to have a heart of flesh; our hearts are to beat in time with God’s. We are supposed to feel emotions, God does. We need our hearts to break for what break’s His heart, and find joy in what brings joy to God’s heart.

I don’t like to deal with my problems. I will do all that I can to not face pain, I don’t like to be sad. I have hardened my heart against so many people and so many situations because I don’t like to seem weak. I do all that I can to forget about my pain, people’s pain, because it scares me to actually allow my heart to feel. It sounds a little cliché, but when you have been burned so many times you learn to “tough it out, and be strong”. But the problems never go away, they are never solved, and they just sit at the back of my mind as a self-destructing bomb, just waiting to go off.

Nothing is solved with a hard heart. Jesus doesn’t have a hard heart. He has the most real heart. A loving, compassionate, empathetic heart. If I am trying to look like you, Jesus, then why does my heart always put up its walls? A fear of emotion?

Jesus, this devotion is a hard one, even as I am writing these words to you, my heart is hard against the work you are trying to do through this passage of scripture. I guess I am just scared as to where this could go, and what kind of work you are going to do in my life. But I do know this: you are the only one who can break my heart, so I ask that you would break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of flesh. Help me feel peace about this prayer, about that work You are doing, and will do in my life. I know you are walking right beside me.

I love you,
Kelsey

November 8, 2010

Ezekiel 28:1&2
“The word of the LORD came to me: “Son of man, say to the ruler of Tyre, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says:
“‘In the pride of your heart
you say, “I am a god;
I sit on the throne of a god
in the heart of the seas.”
But you are a mere mortal and not a god,
though you think you are as wise as a god. ”

I’ll say it – honestly, I don’t think I could go to someone of such power as the king of Tyre and tell him how horrible he is that he will be consumed by fire and reduced to ashes. I am pretty sure that if God asked me to do something like that my answer would probably be, “Um, no thanks God, try calling on someone else, because I am way to chicken to do something like that.”

Evidently, most of the time I am more scared of people then God.

This is a pretty cliché time to be reminded of the verse: “I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13. The truth is plain – God gives us the strength to do the things he asks is to do. I think back to the times where I have had so much weight on my shoulders: deadlines to meet, job to do, emotions to control, all while serving and helping others who have more problems then mine, bigger problems then mine. I could have easily thrown in the towel, said “see ya later God, this is too much, the calling I have is too big and I can’t handle it, I don’t want to do this anymore…” There is only one answer that explains how I get through those tough times: Jesus. He has given me a task, and he provides the strength for me to do what He asks.

God, each time I am faced with problems and tasks bigger than me, bigger than I think I can handle: remind me of you. Remind me that the work you did on the cross, Jesus. The cross has made it so I can have a deep, intimate relationship with you, and you can pull me through. People will fail me, that it a guarantee, but you won’t. You are the trustworthy God who loves me, cares for me, the one who lifts my burdens, and you have always and will always be the faithful trustworthy God you have always been!

I love you so much!!

Kelsey

November 1, 2010

Ezekiel 20:17
“Yet I looked on them with pity and did not destroy them or put an end to them in the wilderness.”

I often wonder how bad someone has to be for God to stop loving them. In this passage Israel does everything God tells them not to do, constantly defying God’s commands and breaking His heart to worship their man-made idols. Yet God’s wrath stays quiet.

I know God’s love is never ending, and His forgiveness knows no bounds. But if I am really truly honest, a lot of the time, my heart doesn’t believe it. I used to be really scared of people finding out who I really was, to find out all the secrets of my past. It was hard enough to let God in (even though He had been there the whole time). I used to think that people couldn’t love the real me. But God showed me His love: If the people in my life could continually love me through all my transgression, how could I ever doubt that the God that made the UNIVERSE could ever stop loving me.

Nothing is so big for God. No sin is too big for Him to forgive. No darkness is to dark for His light to shine. No one is too lost for Him to find. No idol is too big for Him to crush. For me, it all comes down to a simple an understanding that God is God; He doesn’t have a breaking point. I think about the stresses I currently carry, it is too big for me to carry. But it isn’t too big for God.

God, I can hear you whisper: “just lay it at the foot of the cross, where I took it ALL” How silly am I to think that “I can do it” no… only WE can do it. We’re a team; I can’t do this without you, mind if I lean on you for a while? I can’t stand on my own. Thank you for reminding me of how small I am, and how big you are. My problems are too big for me, and I fall when I try to carry them on my own- crush my independence, allow me to be completely dependant on you. I know that you will never stop loving me.

I love you,
Kelsey

October 18, 2010

“Each of you should use what ever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” 1Peter4:10

We are called by God to be good stewards of all the gifts He blesses us with; to not take for granted the grace and mercy God freely grants us. More often than not I feel like I need to earn God’s grace, that the agape love that Christ has for me is something I need to earn. But how do you earn unconditional love?

In our culture there is an obligation to repay each gift or blessing received – just simply accepting a gift is not sufficient. But that is not how God is. Not only has He died, He has risen, and all my sins are forgiven, but on top of that he grants us with gifts and blessings in abundance. There is nothing I can do to repay Jesus for what He has done, and this is why I think that this passage of scripture is so beautiful. God doesn’t ask us for 20 hours of prayer and worship for each gift he blesses us with, He simply asks us to use it. Use it for His glory. To not take His gifts for granted but to bless others with the blessing we have received. If people have the gift of leadership, then they should lead. If people have the gift of painting, then they should paint and reveal His glory. If someone has the gift of to serve, then they should serve with the strength God provides(1Peter4:11)

God, your gifts are plentiful. There is no end to your grace. There is no end to your mercy. God, you have me here, exactly where I am because that is your plan. Use me. I see your beauty in the children’s faces each day, thank you. Please God, reveal the gifts you have blessed me with and grant me with opportunities to use them and give you honor and praise. Allow my work to be worship to you.

I love you, Amen

This is Love...

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