News

To Be A Storyteller

October 21, 2010

A long time ago in a far away place there was a collection of storytellers; they traveled from here to there and further down the road. Sometimes they told their stories to large crowds; sometimes one-on-one. The size of the audience didn’t matter, all that was needed was a listening ear.

Some stories do not sit well on shelves, not the kind that are still alive. Not the kind that are provocative. These are the kind they told; the kinds of stories that mean something, even if you only knew it when the story rang in your ears long after.

Storytelling was their profession, and by profession I don’t mean one’s occupation whereby you support yourself; but the life and the act and the priority of weaving words together such that people can’t help but listen. Storytelling, in other words, was first. How important are stories? Are they practical? Are they necessary? Apparently they thought so because storytelling, to them, was not a once-and-a-while kind of thing; it was their life; or better said, it was life.

I would have liked to have been there; to have heard these storytellers “live.” Now I read about them; for example in Acts 4:33. It says that there was a grace upon them; much grace. What does that mean?

There was this “merciful kindness” on them. This seems to be prerequisite for those who wish to have a story heard. Stories can’t be forced on people; people have to want to hear; wanting comes from being welcomed in.
* Grace, this outside influence, helped them tell stories that were holy. There are stories that are informational, and then there are stories that are transformational; their stories, as simple as some may have been, as ordinary as what just happened that day, landed on the souls of people. Even plain stories had a quality about them that wouldn’t go away; they kept speaking long after the storyteller had folded up his or her chair.
* Grace fed the storytellers; strengthening them to keep talking, learning, loving, changing. The stories and their life became one. The stories changed their life and their life became part of the story.

May such grace be upon me; the storytellers of old put theirs in my hands and before they turned, left instructions: “To be continued.”

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

October 5, 2010

I am walking through a little study called “Simple Faith” with a group of ladies and the topic we will be discussing today is out of the Sermon On The Mount. The study walks through each “Blessed are…” and really does a great job, with just a few words, of describing each of those attributes (you can read the Sermon in Matthew 5).

But what got me were the two little assignments at the end. The first was to evaluate yourself and the second was to take each of the attributes and think of a person in your life who really demonstrates one of those 8 qualities. You’d think this would be easy; but it wasn’t.

This has left me thinking…

What is known about me? I mean you can’t go out there braggin’ on how “poor in spirit” you are, but if you are poor in spirit, wouldn’t that be noticeable? Or would it be that quality (humility/contriteness) you can’t quite put your finger on but it is magnetic all the same? When I am drawn to a particular person, is it this that is grabbing me? Or is it just that they have a “cool” personality that is fun to be around? This makes me question myself and it makes me question what I admire in others. What am I looking for? Who am I?
* Blessed are those who are broken over the broken world, over broken relationships, over lostness and sin. Who do I know like that, someone who is just torn up by all this? Most people I know aren’t. This is a hard one to put a finger on these days because a lot of people are really busy, everyone is “pursuing” something, there are so many items on the buffet table. Who among us are really broken and mourning for this limping world?
* The gentle; blessed are the gentle. Who is humble and courteous and treats others with value and respect? Who is selfless like that? Who truly deserves that title, “gentleman” or “gentlewoman”? This one was a little easier to put names to because a person like this is quite obvious. Gentleness is something you do wear on your sleeve.
* Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Are these the people who do a lot of reading? Who listen to sermon podcasts? Who can’t go to enough Bible studies? Who attend several churches for different reasons? Whose conversations are peppered with spiritual words? Who don’t ever have a bad day because God is good? I mean who has an honest, insatiable desire for fellowship with God? To be filled and spilling over with His goodness; to be changed and to affect change? Who is just an honest seeker, eating up what God has for him and her to the point that it rubs off on others?
* Blessed are the merciful. This person enters into the world of another person’s pain and extends compassion (think Good Samaritan). Right away I think of the Gospel Mission and ministries like that but what about generally, what about that quality in general. Are we merciful in general, do we have an everyday mercy; who do I know that is constantly leaving merciful fingerprints wherever he/she goes.
* Pure in heart. This is a person who lives transparently, free from hypocrisy. People who live transparently — think about what a guarded society we live in. Think about how long it takes to share your story truthfully. Think about how few people you actually let “in” to your inner and most vulnerable world. If we aren’t straight-up hypocritical, who isn’t somewhat reserved? Who doesn’t hold back? Who doesn’t value a little “privacy”? Who lives inside out these days?
* Blessed are the peacemakers, yes and amen to that. Blessed are those who ease tension, seek solutions, generate light not heat. Wow, are those people valued in a contentious society like ours! These are the people that bring a little ointment with them when they meet with others. It isn’t that they never say what is true, it is just that the reason they say true things is for honesty’s sake, for true resolution, for a pure process. A few rare souls, these are.
* Finally, blessed are those who are persecuted, insulted, dissed, lied about, gossiped about. Blessed are you when you take it, when you don’t retaliate, when you speak good instead of evil against those who are coming at you. When you move towards people and not away; when you stay at the table. Now think about how rare that person is!

I think, walking through this, I realized how hard it is to judge these qualities in others because we are, as we say, “all on a journey” working on and working through what it means to live God’s way. But that thought stopped me, we are all on a journey, aren’t we? I mean, we are going somewhere (growing in these 8 qualities) aren’t we? God help us if we are standing still and just the scenery is changing!

I am finding myself asking, are we just so crazy consumed with the “cares and concerns” of our worlds that, while these qualities may be present, they aren’t the first things that are known and seen? Maybe they aren’t even priorities? Is it possible to even move the mission of Christ forward if these things aren’t glaringly obvious about us who call ourselves Christ-followers?

The author suggests we write these qualities on our calendars and work through them week after week (Monday, mercy. Tuesday, pure in heart…). I am beginning to think this isn’t a bad idea, because if this is the most incredible sermon ever preached, it should have more of an impact on us and on our world. If these things aren’t easy to see, then maybe we need to study them harder and apply them more practically.

Anyway, I don’t have any brilliant ending this morning, I just feel really challenged. If Jesus said there is a blessing to being these things, maybe some days I just don’t feel blessed because there is nothing a blessing can attach itself to.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

September 30, 2010

I have been working on a lesson for SunLand (Children’s Program) for this weekend; it’s all about the “Good News.” I wrapped it up and woke up today to this verse in Psalms 130:

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness;

therefore you are feared (revered/worshiped/respected/obeyed).

In the beginning we were created to have unbroken communion with God; zero degrees of separation. This idea pleased God and made perfect sense to Him. He gave us freedom to walk lightly and joyfully on the earth, flawless, unburdened, and completely connected to Him. In fact, to remove any suspicion that we were only with Him because we had no other option, He gave us the keys to the relationship: free will. Love out of obligation does not sit well with God; He is and always will be about freedom.

We lost our way in this and thought freedom looked like something else. It didn’t; but by then it was irreversible. You can wish you never did something, but it doesn’t change the fact that you did it. Our rebellion against God would not be an isolated event; it went viral. This “sin” maxed out our credit; the interest (the cost of doing business with sin) alone kept piling on and piling on, suffocating us while we pretended to be happy.

Who can stand under that? This is David’s question in the Psalm. If God actually held everything against us we would be completely ruined, “dead” (as Ephesians 2 says, dead in our transgressions and sins).

But the Good News is that God’s character can be described in one word: love. The Bible says it so simply in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.” He doesn’t just “like” love, he doesn’t just do loving things. He is what love is and love pursues and hopes and finds solutions for the object of one’s affections; we are here because we are that; we are the object of God’s affection and He was meant to be ours.

What would I give to live forgiven? What would I give up to have that relationship back with God? Everything?

This is what is central to the Good News message; that God did not simply create us. That we didn’t simply destroy everything in our path. The Good News is that God sacrificed, God became the sacrifice to give us what we could not attain: forgiveness and a completely (not partially) right standing with Him. David says, in verse 7 that with God there is “full redemption.” Out of love, He gave up Jesus who released us from our sin by His blood (Revelation 1:5) and introduced us to freedom once more.

This is very cool to me: God’s perfect ideas will not be quenched. His idea from the beginning will be the idea in the end. Perfect relationship is what God had in mind, and perfect relationship will win the day.

This has been Good News since the day that Jesus died and rose again. It was good news in 1899 too when Lewis E. Jones wrote the words to this old hymn, which is how I will sign off today:

Would you be free from the burden of sin?

There’s pow’r in the blood, pow’r in the blood;

Would you o’er evil a victory win?

There’s wonderful pow’r in the blood.

Would you be free from your passion and pride?

There’s pow’r in the blood, pow’r in the blood;

Come for a cleansing to Calvary’s tide;

There’s wonderful pow’r in the blood.

Would you be whiter, much whiter than snow?

There’s pow’r in the blood, pow’r in the blood;

Sin-stains are lost in its life-giving flow;

There’s wonderful pow’r in the blood.

There is pow’r, pow’r, wonder-working pow’r

In the blood of the Lamb;

There is pow’r, pow’r, wonder-working pow’r

In the precious blood of the Lamb.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

September 23, 2010

Making a decision can be exhausting; especially when there are a lot of variables or when I am comparing two equally good things. At the end of a decision-making process, sometimes the final decision means less to me than the relief I feel to have made it. All the pros and cons lists, all the prayer, all the advice-seeking, all the research; I just want to land somewhere!

But some decisions are simple. In Acts 2:38–39 Peter says, “Repent and be baptized.”

There isn’t a whole lot to think about here. Am I ready to acknowledge that there is something in me that is off? Do I agree that I have done idiotic and reckless things? Honestly, in my heart-of-hearts could I convince myself that I am not a sinner? Not a hope. I may not admit it to too many people, but in my quiet moments, I know exactly who I am. Exactly.

All right then. Acknowledge this before God in a way that is sincere, and open up your hands to receive the thing only He can give: the forgiveness of sins.

One decision down, one decision to go: baptism.

Now this one puzzles me. Why is this one so hard to make? Whenever I read about baptism in the Bible it does not involve a pros and cons list or any kind of extended self-analysis. Repent and be baptized.

I do not see this practiced in the 21st century. What I see, for the most part, is people well along the way, who have followed Christ already for years, finally and with much consideration, being baptized. For some it is an agonizing decision. Others make circles around the topic and never get around to it.

What is going on here? Do we think baptism is some sort of trip-wire that will set off a chain of events that is going to get in the way of the life we know and love? Is baptism the equivalent of “settling down”?

If so, where are we in the meantime? Living in the loophole of a not-quite-surrendered life? Exploring the contract, just not signing our name? If so, is choosing to not be baptized the same as saying, “I am not actually sorry”?

It’s strange, all this hand-wringing over baptism when it was meant to be simply obvious. Baptism is not the end or the pinnacle of anything. In fact, it is just the opposite. It is taking one’s inside world to the outside and saying, “Look how screwed up I am and how great God is!” As if people don’t know already anyway; now you are just being honest.

Baptism, as some say, is “initiation, not graduation;” Jesus might as well be standing at the water’s edge with a towel saying, “Welcome to grade 1.” What does it mean then when we wait and wait and wait and wait? What if we have already followed Jesus forever before we get to baptism? That would be like writing a novel starting at chapter two; like building a puzzle but keeping a piece in your pocket; like getting married without the pronouncement following the vow: are they or aren’t they husband and wife?

There is another thing that complicates baptism: the public nature of it; the audience; the whole “in front of people” phobia. The Thief loves to throw gas on this one; he loves it when fear immobilizes us, privatizing our lives and creating a culture of hiding. The idea isn’t to pretend one is fearless; the point is to admit fear. The point is to admit everything that is unfortunate about our condition so that we can celebrate what God is making new in us. Being fearful is not who God made us; God actually made us unafraid; sin makes us feel inadequate. Baptism is about pointing to that sin and saying, “That is not who I am. I am being made new in Christ.” So get out there with your knees knocking and think to yourself, “This is one more reason I am a Follower.”

As I look at it, everything one does before we repent is the struggle. Wrestling with our brokenness, our shame, our hopelessness; those are things that keep us up at night. But repent has the same number of letters as relief and baptism is the high five.

Some decisions are simple.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

September 22, 2010

Pink Floyd wrote a song, “Comfortably Numb,” and most of the lyrics don’t make any sense, but these four lines will work for what I am thinking about this morning:

Hello

Is anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me.

Is there anyone home?

You know when you wear boots that are too tight and one of your toes starts feeling numb? I think life is like that. Sometimes we are so squeezed in there, we don’t even feel what we ought to be feeling. Things that ought to move us, don’t; things that ought to make us feel sad, don’t; things that ought to make us feel empathy, don’t. Even joy; joy can slap us in the face and our expression stays the same.

That is a problem.

Reading Acts 2:36–37 this morning where the people, upon realizing their great and grave error, were “cut to the heart.” Cut to heart! Just think about it. This is a kind of realization, an emotional overload that drops you to your knees. It absolutely changed them, and absolutely changed the world. Had they felt less, they would have been less driven, less courageous, less laser-like about the Good News about Jesus; their devastation emptied them and the Holy Spirit filled the void with a fire that could not be quenched.

But the devastation came first.

There is a lot of numbing out going on these days, though. There has to be, for us to treat one another the way we do; for us to be so nonchalant; for us to be so ineffective; for families to crumble so easily, over nothing; for children to lose their way with 20 adults casually observing; for our lack of commitment; for friendships to slip away with hardly a thought; for us to feel OK about our detached, wandering decisions.

Why are we so numb? Is it the constant rub of a problem we can’t fix? Is it that we are so bombarded that insanity is the only other viable option? Is it fear? Avoidance? Are we just mixed up about what is worth feeling something about? Have we lost our pulse?

Sometimes I am tired out by feeling things; I feel weary of feeling and find myself experimenting with “coolly disconnected;” I want that. Sometimes I try to be that, thinking it would be simpler. Maybe it would be; if someone could only pull that emotional wire, I would be less affected. To be honest, I have actually prayed for this but have completely struck out on that prayer.

I want to put “things” someplace so that my head can feel clear; orderly. I want to tighten my circle so that there are less people to be concerned about. If I see something painful and confusing coming my way I would rather that someone put me out and wake me up when it is over.

Ah, comfortably numb.

But I serve a God that gave me five senses, and a heart that both sinks and soars, and a mind that craves and creates, and tears. Tears are for something. I feel; I feel sadness, disgust, anger, anticipation, joy, trust, fear, surprise. And if I don’t, something is very, very wrong.

All these emotions are motivators; they are things that compel me to act: right a wrong, celebrate, hug someone, move away from something, walk towards something, let something go. Laugh.

Jesus doesn’t want to take these things away from me; He wants me to be alive. He wants me to feel, even when the feelings are overwhelming, He promises I will not be overwhelmed. He will use what goes deep in me, to do something powerful for Him.

When those followers were cut to the heart, was it merely because they were filled with regret, or did they suddenly feel…feel the deluge of God’s love and forgiveness for their awful deed: Grace. I realize Grace is a concept, a fact, but it is also a feeling (maybe more so). And when is the last time I let myself feel that?

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

September 15, 2010

Words matter. The words we use to describe our walk with Jesus and our relationship with His “Bride,” the “Church” matter.

If we say, “I am going to church on Sunday,” is this the way it should be said? That is the way it has been said for eons, but does it really describe what we are doing? And if we say it that way, aren’t we saying that one day we are moving from our home to a building for a specific activity called “church”? We have now glued the church on a spot, and the church was never meant to be stuck. We are also saying that when we get there, that’s church; what happened before we got there, was not.

What about when we say, “I attend” this or that church. What does that say about us? It means to go to something, to be present, and to observe what is occurring there. Attend says nothing about relationship, only about the choice to show up in one place versus another. Now the church seems like an option in the Leisure Guide where you might attend one course this season and another the next. “Attend” has no buy-in, it is simply your name on a list.

Words can mislead; I don’t just mean “mislead” in the sense that they can be unclear, I mean they can literally lead us down the wrong path; as innocent as “Hurry up, we are going to be late for church,” sounds, it is one more example of how “the church” became a thing we show up at, versus a people who who are as connected as the parts of our physical body. Whoever said, “What church do you go to?” probably had good intentions, but those six little words changed the Church.

I am reading Acts right now and it frustrates me. I should be inspired by it, but some days it just bugs me. When chapter 2 verse 44 says, “All the believers were together and had everything in common…” it makes me jealous. When will we mean something like that to each other? When will we stop “going to church” and “attending” on a Sunday and start wanting to be the church with a sincerity of heart and a desire…

Yeah, a desire. A desire to walk together over the long haul, to fix what needs fixing together, to struggle through it and not quit, to come back to the table again and again and again, longing for Jesus to work in us and through us, to fix us and to fix the world.

I have a feeling, a bad gut feeling, that this won’t happen until things get really bad; until we really need each other. Is that what it will take?

Gathering is one of the things “the church” did together. They also devoted themselves to learning and equipping and motivating one another, carrying one another’s burdens and sharing with each other, remembering Christ in the Lord’s Supper and worshiping and encouraging one another, working out conflicts and reconciling, sorting through beliefs and issues; there was a lot going on as they gathered. There was a desire to be together, a need to be together because who knows what the week would bring as the church was out and about in the world, representing Jesus as literally as they could. There was no casual approach to any of it.

Can we be what Acts 2 is describing? Courses and Programming are not going to accomplish this. Structures are not going to accomplish this. It is each individual Christ-follower wanting it and choosing to move from casual observer with no obligations, to sitting at the table and working it out with the group of people we are attaching ourselves to.

Attaching ourselves to; now that has a different ring to it.

I think a lot about this because it is easy for me to pretend to be attached. I am, after all, a “pastor’s wife” (Labels. Don’t get me started). Some could say, “It’s your job.” If this is my job, I quit. I am not kidding. If I am a part of this because I need something to do, I can think of, conservatively, a thousand things to do that don’t involve such close and sometimes painful contact and personal investment.

But it is not a job: “Jesus, this better not be a job!”

I don’t know what all this will mean someday; this attachment. I hope I get it more often than I don’t as I and as we try to be a light on the hill. I can only speak for myself, as all of us only can, about who and what I attached myself to and what was really alive and well in my heart. I wonder how well I will have merged with God’s plan and God’s people? Was I fully the “part” of the Body Christ gifted me to be? And if change is in the air at some point, will it really be God asking me to “detach” in some way and engage somewhere else, or will it be because it would be simpler; less complicated?

There are so many doors available to open. So many doors so easy to shut to get some peace and quiet. “God, help me to stand firm, to not be easily moved out of community. To be fully present in these relationships that you have attached me to, and give me the confidence to know that none of it is in vain.”

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

September 6, 2010

Today it was a tight squeeze around the lunch table; half the people I knew well, half I knew hardly at all. Mike always asks: “What’s your story?”

I love hearing about people’s journeys as we sit around the table. I love how one person has the floor, sharing something about their “long and winding road” and everyone else listens in. A connection is formed as this person moves from being a stranger to being known; and not just on a “I know your name” basis, but “I know your story” which is completely different.

There are moments when I feel like I am both a participant and an observer. Part of me is sitting in the circle and part of me feels a tap on my shoulder and a whisper that asks, “Do you see it?”

I do. I saw it today as we moved towards one another, as we heard honest words, vulnerable and sometimes painful words; as credit was given to God for being a life-saver. Would any of us find each other, naturally? Children, adults, young adults, seniors, parents, singles; what do we have in common except this thirst to know Christ and to walk a narrow road in a big wide world? He threads us together, as diverse as we are, into a Body; and the invitation is always open. I saw that again today.

It is easy to lose sight of this, but around the table, in my heart today I heard that whisper again, “Do you see it?” Did I see how Jesus fishes people out of self-destruction; mending us and setting us upright?

You’re right Lord, She is lovely, this Bride, this idea of yours. It is lovely when strangers aren’t strangers because of what You have done. It is lovely when we can admit broken things, without shame because You redeem it all. All. You make it lovely; You put on our heads “a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isiaah 61:3)

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.org)

September 1, 2010

Ever wonder who you would be today if…

Or where you would be today if…

This can be a fantasy or this can be a nightmare!

One choice this way or that way and life changes for the better or for the worst.

I was thinking about that this morning as I read Psalm 124 and where I would be if Jesus hadn’t led me the way He has this past decade (not to mention my whole life). I am not saying I have been easy to lead or that I have always followed His leadership (I have not). Have I followed more than I have strayed? Perhaps another blog for that thought.

Anyway, Psalm 124 is a beautiful thing to personalize, so I decided to do that today.

Psalm 124 (if I had written it):

If the LORD had not been on my side—

let me say that again so no one misses it—

if the LORD JESUS had not been on my side

and by my side

inside my head and my heart all these years

where would I be?

Who would I be now?

When I felt misunderstood or misrepresented?

What would have become of me

if I was just stuck with that;

if the Lord had not said, “Onward!”

Where would I have put anger

and disappointment and hurt,

sin and confusion and weariness?

It would have swallowed me alive!

Everything piled up on everything else

would have broken the dam;

it would have broken me.

Without Jesus, I would have been undone,

engulfed by a flood I could not manage;

swept off my feet

that once stood firm.

The raging waters

swirling outside,

swirling inside,

would have won the day.

If it were not for Jesus

I would be far away from the rapids;

I am afraid of whitewater, naturally.

Praise be to Jesus,

I have not been torn apart.

Look:

I am not ruined and

still of some use.

I feel as if I have given bitterness the slip

(and depression

and disillusionment)

like a bird out of the fowler’s snare;

the snare has been broken,

and I have escaped.

I take no credit for this.

I am not strong

I am not resolute

I am not certain;

But I am confident in one thing:

help comes in the name of the LORD

the Maker of heaven and earth

and for this I

wipe my hand across my brow

and say, “Whew!”

Wouldn’t have made it

without you, LORD.

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 31, 2010

Did a quick scan of the News feed on Facebook today and there it is in print, the bemoaning of the end of summer, the anticipation of buying things suitable for a lunch, and all the “don’t-tell-anyone-but-I-am-secretly-glad-school-is-around-the-corner” posts by moms.

It has been a quiet summer for me, quiet in that really enjoyable sense with the whole “schedule thing” dropping out of sight; I wasn’t sorry to see it go. It was also quiet because everyone had something to do this summer. I did miss seeing my crew every day, but I loved hearing how much fun everyone was having; it was a great summer. Still great if you count the Red-haven peaches which are ripe right now; pleasure in a bowl.

I don’t know how one would describe the other months of the year, but September looms. It is like this big thing around the corner; I will admit, the word that comes to mind is, “yikes!” So, it is almost annoying to me that, on the Bible reading guide I am following, Proverbs 31 falls on the last day of August. Sigh.

She has no fear, this Proverbs 31 woman. She laughs at the days to come. There is not a hint of dread in these verses (maybe they were written at the end of June). She makes things with her hands. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She speaks with wisdom, and her instructions are good. She shows good leadership, manages the house well and is never idle. She has outstanding, praiseworthy qualities. It makes me wonder, “Is this woman even real? And why isn’t there a Proverbs 31 man?” I digress…

Did all of this come naturally to her, or did she sit on the edge of her bed in the morning and say, “You can do it!” I mean, how much self-talk went into this woman’s routines? I can do Proverbs 31 in the summer when I feel well rested, but add a kazillion things to the list and I’m not feelin’ it so much.

If I could pick one quality that I would like to own today it would be the ability to laugh at the days to come. I over-think; I take things too seriously; and I internalize too much. But how do I not do this? I already know the answer to this, it is to continually own what Jesus is saying to me. He wants to show me how to live freely and lightly, but I keep putting weight onto the day.

This morning I was listening to my iPod in bed, listening to the book of Acts in preparation for the Fall. It really struck me how many times I heard “…and the Holy Spirit said…” and then the people responded. I lay there thinking about how many times the Holy Spirit has said something directly to me, and I responded (fewer times than I would like). The Holy Spirit is always right. Funny how great you feel when you know you are doing what is right (there are exceptions, like when the Holy Spirit asks you to do something really hard, that doesn’t feel great in the moment).

Every year (probably about this time) I find myself asking, “Why don’t you listen more?” I am a race-ahead kind of person and hope God blesses, rather than the reverse. It is no wonder I sometimes dread the days to come; I could be racing headlong into a wall.

The real key to the whole Proverbs 31 thing comes at the end when it says, “a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” A woman who fears the Lord can laugh at the days to come because, though not all the days are known to her, they are all known to Jesus. A woman who fears the Lord has inside information which allows her to to set her burdens down and have peace in the moment. Isn’t that what we are all after, I mean if you really boil it all down to one thing? Peace.

I am not much for resolutions, but I don’t want to walk around with a concerned look on my face this year. The truth is, though, 5 minutes from now something could happen that could put a knot in my stomach. Isn’t that true? How am I going to laugh then?

Well, it won’t happen on its own. It won’t happen by avoiding signs of conflict. It won’t be by isolation. It won’t even be by simplifying my schedule. People think that; people think if only they can get their life down to the very basics, and handle the most minimal of responsibilities only, they will have a sense of peace.

The absence of community does mean fewer people to argue with, but then I have decided to live outside of God’s plan. God wants us to work in circles, so what about that? And busy and not busy is not the ballgame either. I have been incredibly busy and have experienced heaps of joy; and I have had nothing on my plate and in the quietness been almost strangled by fear or sadness or worry.

C.S. Lewis said it best and this is what I need to return to minute by minute, in the middle of the quiet and in the middle of the whirlwind of life: “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

God I just have to pray that you would be before me and behind me and beside me as I walk into this new season. Don’t let me get ahead and don’t let me disappear, but to look at you first and then stare down the day — just one day — and live it well.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 28, 2010

“Labels are devices for saving talkative persons the trouble of thinking.” — John Morley

Being understood is hard work, I find. Conversations crash and burn when the wrong word takes dialogue sideways; I slip up in something I say, or I have a “look” that is misinterpreted, and it is hard to get the whole thing back. Sometimes it is impossible; some people are excellent at remembering everything I said, and there is no undoing.

Writing; you’d think that would help. Sometimes it does, if I am patient in the writing process and truthful and unselfish. But there too; so much room for error. How a sentence sounds in my head is not how someone else might read it and how someone might read it is also dependent on the mood they are in. Writing comes without a look in my eyes, without gesture or body-language; so the person is left with the print and it can seem cold, no matter how many warm words I try to put on the page.

It frustrates me when I am misunderstood. I know who I am in my heart; I know what my intentions are, but sometimes things go haywire and I wonder, “How did we get here?” Or, “How do you see me like that? I’m not that way at all.”

We all add to people or take away from them based on very little information and often on misinformation; we see a little, we hear a little, we understand a little and we profile. We do the same to God.

I see this in my own life, how I have theories about who God is and how He thinks and operates: I see a little, hear a little, understand a little and I create Him as I see Him. I often read the Bible, looking for what I want to see about God; hiding from what I don’t. And yet Proverbs 30:5–6 says

“Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.”

I have been proven a liar about people; some I thought too much of, some I thought too little. I have misunderstood God in a similar way. I have made God big for some things and inadequate for others (I prove this every day by how I live and by what I worry about). I have read some of His words and like those, but the words I don’t like I try to make sense of, but with my sensibilities. I can’t imagine a God I cannot imagine so I shrink Him down so He can be written about neatly in a pamphlet, or handed out to people like a sedative.

Some people turn their back on God when they misunderstand Him. I am thinking of Oprah and how one word derailed her. She was sitting in church and the pastor, quoting Scripture, said, “We serve a jealous God.” She could not, nor cannot, wrap her head around that word “jealous” and her whole spiritual journey took a turn over that word. How can God’s Word be so flawless, when that word seems so flawed?

God’s Word creates a tension in us. C.S. Lewis grappled with how to understand God in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (where Aslan the lion represents God):

“‘Is – is he a man?’ asked Lucy.

‘Aslan a man!’ said Mr. Beaver sternly. ‘Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion, the Lion, the great Lion.’

‘Ooh,’ said Susan, ‘I thought he was a man. Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.’

‘That you will, dearie, and make no mistake,’ said Mrs. Beaver; ‘if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.’

‘Then he isn’t safe?’ said Lucy.

‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver; ‘don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the king I tell you’.”

I think this may be the finest description of God by a writer outside of the Bible: unsafe, but good. Can’t you see, though, how this might leave a lot of room for misunderstanding? As I grapple with God’s flawless words I try to understand Him as my shield and refuge, but often my experience makes me feel MORE exposed, not less. I prefer life to have a sense of balance and order and predictability, yet the journey He takes me on feels wild instead. Is this good?

Misunderstandings about God, His words and actions, can cause a range of reactions from outright rejection to muddling about in confusion. It isn’t like I have come to a place where I am comfortable with God. I am mostly uncomfortable, to be honest. Every day I wrestle in some way, trying to understand God; trying to understand His “flawless” words and His goodness in the middle of what doesn’t always feel good.

Recently I heard Donald Miller describe the tension of trying to follow this God who still is so mysterious, whose actions are still so hard to understand, and it connected with me. Following God, he said, is a “difficult challenge that is going to create a beautiful story.”

It is in the middle of this tension I seek to understand God, and it is this story that my life is trying to write.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

Afterword: Back to Oprah, I would love to ask her, did you really sit with that word a while before you created a new God that suited you better? Because “jealous” takes on a whole new meaning when the underlying characteristic of the jealous one is “goodness” not “selfishness.” One of the most untamed passages about the most committed kind of love includes the word jealous (Song of Songs 8:6–7):

Place me like a seal over your heart,

like a seal on your arm;

for love is as strong as death,

its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

It burns like blazing fire,

like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;

rivers cannot wash it away.

If one were to give

all the wealth of his house for love,

it would be utterly scorned.

I wonder how God feels to be misunderstood about His jealousy? His love for us is zealous, passionate and fiercely pure; protective and loyal and unconditional. His love goes to the grave and then beyond it. There is no corner left in us that His love does not fill.

Would we prefer something less? Something a little shakier? Would we like just a little of that and not to be engulfed by it? God is not some petty, insecure man who can’t let his lover have a life. God’s jealousy is quite the opposite; His jealousy thunders, “don’t you dare!” to any evil thing that wants to steal life when God promises to give us life and give it to us abundantly (John 10:10). His jealousy cannot fathom anyone separating the two of us. His love is about giving to, not taking away.

Please God, love and guard me jealously!

August 25, 2010

My heart is steadfast, O God;
I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn. (Psalm 108)

I am trying to think of the last time I woke up exclaiming, “Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn!”

When was that?

It really matters how I wake up; the first perception, the first thoughts I allow myself to think, the way I swing myself out of bed, my attitude when I walk to the shower. Who I am in the morning is my decision, isn’t it? Even though some people are naturally alive and awake in the morning, and some are not, isn’t waking up on the wrong side of the bed the result of a choice?

On the most basic level, we have gone after this as a family; you don’t have the privilege to wake up moody here. That isn’t to say that every day is a sunny and happy day, but in the Klassen house, you are not allowed to wreck everyone else’s morning by being grumpy and irritable. Illegal. It’s fine to be quiet, it’s fine to express what you are struggling with, but at the same time, being considerate of others is a choice we are saying that each one of us can make (Josh has the opposite problem, he is too cheerful, too full of mischief too early, he has to contain all of that or everyone turns on him). Some mornings we have to turn around and go find ourselves again so that we can come out and be civil.

But obviously there is more to it then that; more to the morning than simply being nice to others. The way I wake up really does set the course for my day. It is amazing how quickly a bad day sets in. Without even consciously thinking about it, I can be immediately worried, overloaded, frustrated, angry. I can immediately dread pushing the covers off and having to face whatever I have to face. There is no Polyanna way to get around this; sometimes the day ahead is less than inviting.

Sometimes I think if I pray first thing, I will have a change of heart and mind, but peace is a slippery thing. I have it in my hand, and it’s gone. I grab it again, and it’s gone again. Some things we are dealing with don’t just vaporize when we pray and push forward.

What is it like for someone who’s concerns are far greater than mine?
* What about the person living on the street?
* What about the person with a terrible illness?
* What about someone who is in deep trouble?
* What about someone who has that problem that won’t go away, day, after day after day?

What would I say about the mornings then? What about when you wake up and it feels there is nothing really worth waking up to?

David (from the Bible) knew all about trouble. Did he ever get any breathing room? I think that’s why Psalm 108 doesn’t begin on a note of praise; it begins with the words, “my heart is steadfast.” That’s self talk. That’s telling yourself to remember what you believe. That’s digging deep and finding determination that is rooted in faith. There is work to steadfastness that feels more like a pull than a glide. Steadfastness is really not about feelings; it is about convictions that you hold to no matter what. Stand firm.

Even if I don’t feel what I want to feel first thing, even if everything is out of balance, can I at least fix my gaze on what I know about God’s presence with me first thing in the morning? So, even if I don’t exactly feel chipper, can I “sing” anyway? Can I choose to do that?

I can relate to this passage this morning because I feel, “discombobulated.” Didn’t sleep great, my head is swimming in details and issues (things I need to do that I just can’t get to because of big disruptions; and when things get pushed off and pushed off, it starts to feel stressful), too many varied things I have to pay attention to. My head actually hurts today.

So who will I be this morning, who will I be today?

I serve a God who never leaves me. His love is measureless. His wisdom is perfect for every situation. My entire life is in His hands and He is the keeper of my soul. He is about hope, not despair. He is about windows, not walls. He is about leading me, not following me. He invites me over and over to trust Him, this is His timeless message, and when I follow it is always the right thing. Is He big enough for today? Yes. Is He completely present? Yes. Will He give me everything I need to tackle what He wants me to tackle? Yes. God is all about Yes, isn’t He?

Sometimes I think mornings feel overwhelming because I have the perception that I am alone in “all this” but that is where I need to steadfastly go back to what I know: I am not alone. I not only have partnership, I am not even in charge. I don’t even have to carry what I think I have to carry, all I need to do is listen better and follow better.

I love how David says, “I will awaken the dawn.” Usually we are woken up, and sometimes it is an unpleasant awakening. But David gets the jump on unpleasantness; he gets the upper-hand on the day, meeting with God before anyone can say anything.

Our God says to the complicated dawn, “Beat you to it! I AM up already.” And that means that Jesus and I already have a plan for how we are going to tackle this day.

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 20, 2010

I have come to realize something about myself, I don’t like researching things. Research is like opening up Pandora’s box. One question branches out into a family tree of questions and before long I find myself lost in details I didn’t know I didn’t know.

Take cellphone plans, for example, if you have ever thought, “Maybe I should change my cellphone provider/plan,” buy Advil first. There are few things as frustrating as figuring out cellphone plans.There are so many options now and the options have options, variables, fine print, contracts and no contracts, and so many details and exceptions to these that, after a while, I feel like I am losing my mind! I think “they” do this purposely so that after a while people will say, “Enough!” dip their hand into the cellphone sea of information and go with whatever they pull up.

As soon as you start researching things you enter a maze where figuring out one thing, leads to something else you don’t understand. I started looking for a simple cellphone plan, the most inexpensive, no-contract one with a good texting option and I ended up trying to figure out the world of GMS phones and SIM cards, unlocking phones and what is “jailbreaking” a phone? Agh! Why can’t it be simple: one, two, three, make a decision, done. Well, it can, but then you don’t always get the best deal.

Proverbs 26:16 is an interesting little verse on this topic, “Lazy people consider themselves smarter than seven wise counselors.” As I was digging into the meaning behind this verse, I thought this was an interesting note:

“The lazy person thinks he has life all figured out and has chosen the wise course of action, but he is simply lazy. J.H. Greenstone says, for example, ‘Much anti-intellectualism may be traced to such rationalization for laziness.’” (Notes on the verse from bible.org)

When I go to the shelf and buy something without researching alternatives, I am doing so because it is easier; I don’t have to expend any mental energy on it. I am doing what Proverbs 26:16 is describing. By choosing not to think, I have taken the sluggard’s course of action.

The thing is, cellphone plans are not going to make or break my life; but some things will. Huge, life altering decisions are often made without “seven wise counselors.” Sometimes we endure years of pain and heartache because we get all Frank Sinatra and just do it our way. It seems our default button is “I’m right;” we have such a tough time being a student. This isn’t smart; it’s anti-smart.

I want to be wise about the decisions I make, but, oh, my head gets tired sometimes. I get tired of figuring new things out; especially things that are hard to figure out. I would like it if things were a little more compartmentalized, you know, deal with one thing and then deal with the next. Some days I don’t have the energy to spend more time on yet another thing. As I am listening to myself I am thinking about the danger of making decisions when I am worn out or under pressure. Careful. Then, especially then, I need seven wise counselors.

I am really not an expert on anything; I need all the help I can get, so I have come to really respect good researchers. One good website comparing 15 plans, or one really smart friend who has done the work ahead of me, and things begin to take shape for me. I know a few people who LOVE researching things; anything! Mike and I have phoned them more than once and asked them if they know something about a pretty random thing we are learning about. Inevitably, they do and they are more than willing to share their wealth of information. It is like seven wise counselors in one shot! AWESOME!

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 19, 2010

Strange, the things you remember. When I was around 10 years old my family made a trip to California to go to Disneyland. I hardly recall anything about the trip (except, “It’s a Small World,” for obvious reasons), but I do remember staying somewhere along the way at a little motel with a pool.

We had driven a long, long way that day in a very small car and when dad pulled up to the motel and it had a sign that said “Heated Outdoor Pool,” that was (to quote Seinfeld) “Gold, Jerry; gold!” We couldn’t get the suitcases into the room fast enough! I ripped through mine, found the suit, and was out like lightening to the pool’s edge where I stopped short. The pool was completely green; not just a shade green, it was unmistakably, thick-and-rich, pea green; a soup-bowl only the Jolly Green Giant could appreciate.

Imagine my disappointment! I couldn’t believe it. I dragged my feet (a special ability kids have) back to the room and lay on the floor, on my back, in my swimsuit, staring unresponsively at the ceiling. I thought bad thoughts about the management. How could anyone let something so good, so beautiful, so refreshing, go? The pool was right there, it was once a place of unparalleled joy, and now it was a cesspool.

Proverbs 25:26 is telling me to hang onto that image because, “If the godly give in to the wicked, it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring.” The idea of “giving in” is to totter, slip, to be dislodged or to let something fall; to be shaken so as to be overthrown.

That could happen to me. I could be someone who was once a refreshing presence to others, but I could totter, slip, be dislodged; I could let something fall; I could be shaken up so that I end up many, many shades away from who I want to be.

God loves everyone, but that doesn’t mean everyone is living in a way that God loves. There is something called “wicked.” There are things that make God wince and sigh and shake His head. There really are things that anger Him. If I could ask God to not be angry, would I? Never! I am glad that God, who made me, has standards. I am glad that His goodness is 100% good without anything I need to overlook. I am glad this means He doesn’t overlook things in me either; and it makes it a gigantic relief that Jesus died for my wickedness, taking my sins, though they were like scarlet, making my heart as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).

What is so awful is when you take a redeemed child of God, someone forgiven, someone who has been made new by the love of God and somewhere along the way they begin to choose “wicked” over good. Proverbs 26:11 has the best description of this: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.” It is unthinkable that someone who understands the word “saved” in terms of what Jesus has done for us would now go back to what they were before. This is like filling a sweet, clear spring with mud.

Can’t imagine doing that? It happens all the time. Sometimes it is a dramatic fall; an obvious big step between what a person knows is right and something that is clearly and obviously wrong. Usually, it looks like someone teetering on the edge between what is good and godly and what is wicked. Usually it involves little compromises. Most often wicked creeps up, like a little spot of green at the bottom of a pool.

As I am writing, I realize it would be easy to deflect this topic. I could read and write this and think, “Be careful, don’t do anything bad.” But here is what is also wicked: a lack of gentleness, unkindness, unforgiveness, bitterness, stubbornness, gossip, selfishness, self-righteousness, judgement; all of these things darken the waters. All of these things make me an unrefreshing presence.

This summer Josh, who drinks A LOT of milk, was not around; so the milk sat in the fridge a little too long. I grabbed the jug one day and poured myself a glass and took a big drink, assuming the best. It was not. I had anticipated that cold wonderfulness and instead I got something extremely distasteful.

What do people anticipate when they walk up to me? Do they expect one thing and get another? Green and unmaintained instead of cool and clear; sour instead of nutritious and thirst-quenching?

At any moment, in any place, Jesus asks His followers to be a refreshing presence to others. I guess the question I am left with today is, can I take a cup of who I am and offer it to someone, freely and without checking first?

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 18, 2010

I was listening to the news last night; updated reports on the flood in Pakistan and an interview with an artist who is writing a song to draw attention to the disaster there. The commentator said that Pakistan has not received equal media attention, nor an outpouring of aid like, say, Haiti, did. An article I read also refers to this issue and calls it an “image deficit.” Denoja Kankesan writes,

“We often note an image deficit with regards to Pakistan among Western public opinion,” said Elizabeth Byrs, a spokeswoman at the UN Office for the Co-ordination of Humanitarian Affairs.

The idea of having an image deficit interested me.

In the big world, and in our small ones, image makes some people insiders and makes others outsiders. Image rewards one and oppresses another, gives to one and takes from another. Even though “image” is incredibly subjective, we give it the power to define acceptable and unacceptable, in and out, and (this should make us shudder) lovable and unlovable.

In our small worlds, one child loves school because they are popular, another one hates it because they can’t make a single friend. Is the contest so different on the larger scale? Are our governing bodies more inclusive than the kids in the schoolyard? Image, apparently, means that one person receives aid, and another will languish without it.

Right now British Columbia is dealing with a boat-load of Tamil migrants from Sri Lanka; we have not put out the welcome mat, let’s just say; we are suspicious of them. We think terrorists are hiding in the mix; maybe the whole lot of them are bad. And what will we do with them? You’d think we were tight on space here in BC. That’s laughable. It must be hard to be Tamil. You might be a father with a wife and a child who just wants a job, but first you have a mountain to climb because you have a serious image deficit.What if our first reaction was empathy and our second was discernment? What if we asked how these people might bless our province instead of assuming they will curse it?

What is commanding my heart in all of this is that the Person I am modeling my life after vehemently protested anything that hinted of image deficit. He made a point of dining with people who had massive image deficits; He looked for them; He loved spending time with them and chatting it up with them. There was no touchable and not-touchable to Him. There was no desirable and not-desirable to Him There was no lovable and not- lovable to Him.

Jesus spent his life bringing good news to the poor. He proclaimed freedom for prisoners. His message was about recovering our sight, and He did so, literally for those who were physically blind, and He did so internally for those of us who were blind inside. Jesus was about releasing people from the oppression of image deficit and to declare God’s favor for everyone; everyone! (see Luke 4:14–28)

The thing that should be outstanding about me is this kind of acceptance. God never placed the burden to judge others upon me. He never asked me to fix everyone’s behavior. What He asked is that I would share the news about the freedom He offers, with love and respect for all. He asked me to hold up His Image to remind us who we were fashioned after.

That isn’t to say He never called me to discern right from wrong when it comes to my own life; He did. I am to conduct my life in a way that honors God’s boundaries, set in place for me with the desire to protect me and guide me along a right path. In relationship, in community, we are also to try to rescue each other from our destructive tendencies, in a way that is bathed in love; absolutely drenched in God’s Spirit which desires that none would be lost.

Can we love like that? God, can I? Can you remove that pin that keeps jamming my ability to just see people as You do, without any image deficit? Your Word calls me to, “Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy…” (Psalm 82:3–4).

When we gather as Christ-followers, can this “church” be free from image deficit? Can we eliminate the “cool and the uncool” from our gathering. No one was created with a deficit; all are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) so the church should be a place where, more than any other, opposites attract. The church should be a mixed marriage where people, somewhat incredulously, ask, “How did you meet?”

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 16, 2010

Part 12 of “Consider This”

The topic of today’s post is on being corrected; and there is nothing I like better than being corrected (ha). I am building this around a verse that comes from a scene in the Bible where we meet a man named Job, who had a pretty good life, and then everything (I mean everything) fell apart and Job lost everything (I mean everything); to top it all off, his health fails and he spends his days in a great deal of physical pain. In the middle of his suffering some friends (I say loosely) who have assessed his situation (as friends do) come to tell him where he went off the tracks. To summarize:

Bad things do not happen to good people. Obviously, Job, you sinned and offended God and all of everything that is happening to you is your fault.

Comforting. After all the finger wagging, Eliphaz brings it all home by saying,

Consider the joy of those corrected by God (Job 5:17)

It is unfortunate that this line comes where it does, because there is truth in what he says, it’s just that he makes a large assumption: that Job’s troubles have come because he has offended God and has brought calamity upon himself.

I can relate to Eliphaz in this because sometimes I have a warped view of hard times as well. I have to work to keep my head straight about God’s grace and love; I have an easier time believing God wants to correct me than embrace me so when things go wrong in my life, I jump pretty quickly to the assumptions of Eliphaz. It takes effort for me to step back and figure out:

Are things going wrong because things go wrong? Things break, plans don’t work out, we are mortal, we live in imperfect and polluted environments and to quote Rush, “Why does it happen? Because it happens. Roll the bones.” It’s not God, its just life.
* Are things going wrong because I have broken something and I am “reaping what I have sown.” It’s not God, it’s me.
* Are things going wrong because someone else has broken something and their dominoes are touching my dominoes? It’s not God and it’s not me, it’s you.
* Are things going wrong because, while God has been trying to get my attention, I have not been listening and now He is REALLY trying to get me to stare at something before I do something even more destructive to myself or others? It’s….yeah, it’s God.

I have a hard time figuring this out for myself, let alone figuring it out for other people. Sometimes “things going wrong” are actually the result of a complex web of events, information and misinformation, and actually being able to pinpoint “the root cause” is not so simple. People want it simple though. They want to point one finger at one thing but sometimes all four are at play: life, me, you, God.

When things go south I want to know why; there must be a reason! God, why? Why am I going through this? I believe God wants to tell me something about what I am experiencing, but I can see how I blockade Him. At the time I think I am being so open to hearing whatever God wants to reveal to me, but in hindsight I see that I wasn’t ready at all. As a result, I have put myself through so much pain,

I have analyzed things endlessly, when I think God was trying to say to me, “Uh, actually Teresa, that’s just life. There is no deeper meaning to it. Stuff breaks; that broke. You will have days when you see that everything is a bit fragile and fallen and that’s about all there was to that.”
* I have been so sure of myself at times that I couldn’t see the “me” in it. I couldn’t see that I dove in recklessly or that I put fuel on something or that I was just plain wrong until much, much later when I realize: Would you look at that. I was wrong all along.
* I have beaten myself up over things that really were someone else’s problem, but I was so busy self-flagellating that I just couldn’t let it be that. I so couldn’t imagine that I could be without fault in a situation that I killed myself trying to fix what was someone else’s brokenness.
* I have had such blinders on so that I could not see God whistling and waving for what might have been days or months or years trying to catch my attention. In my experience, God does this. He whistles and waves for years, and nudges and calls. He sends things my way, once and twice and three times to help me see a pattern I need to address. And then one day, He gives me an illustration I can’t miss and that hurts; but it’s effective.

Eliphaz was wrong when he said that Job brought everything upon himself. Eliphaz was right when he said that there is joy when God is involved no matter whose fault it is. The joy is that

If life is the problem, God says He is with me like a shepherd is with his sheep, guiding me and helping me and getting me to where I need to be.
* If I have been a problem, God says that I can turn from my ways and make things right (as right as I can, from my end of things), and that there is forgiveness and a new day.
* If others are being a problem, God says that I can still love my “enemy,” here’s how, and here’s how to move forward in confidence without heaps of baggage and bitterness.
* If God is helping me figure out what is problematic in my character, he will shine a light into my life so that I don’t have to live with dark and disturbing corners, he will make me into a new person as we go.

When I journey with Jesus as my redeemer, friend and leader there is, strangely enough, joy to be found even on hard days; not that this is our first emotion, but somewhere down the line we can see it. I have actually cried looking at joy standing there, still with me, while I am bleeding. This isn’t the kind of joy that puts a forced smile on your face, this is joy that is a trusting-confidence that a new day and a new way is being created even as we speak; it is the joy that one feels when you know, all is not lost.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 14, 2010

Part 11 of “Consider This”

Ever feel like God has forgotten about you?

I have now written 10 blogs in this “series” I have called Consider This and they have all been things that we tend to forget about God, but the one in Psalm 74:20 is interesting because this one is directed to God; this one asks God, “Have you forgotten?”

You walked off and left us, and never looked back.
God, how could you do that?
We’re your very own sheep;
how can you stomp off in anger?
Refresh your memory of us… (74:1–3, MSG)

God have you forgotten I am actually the man on your side?
* Have you forgotten I am the woman who loves you?
* I am the student who has given up a lot of things to serve you?
* I am the one who has followed you since I was a boy, and now that I am old, have you now deserted me?
* We are the ones who believed your promises, have you forgotten?

Now, consider again your covenant, God (Psalm 74:20, NASB).

The Bible is full of people who have pointed things out to God (Moses and the entire nation of Israel, Job, Elijah, most of the prophets, the Disciples to name a few), spelling out that they were alone or lonely or hungry or in need of rescue; did God hear them and had He forgotten His promises? Everyone knows God is powerful enough to rescue them; does God know?

It was you who split open the sea by your power;
you broke the heads of the monster in the waters.
It was you who crushed the heads of Leviathan
and gave him as food to the creatures of the desert.
It was you who opened up springs and streams;
you dried up the ever flowing rivers.
The day is yours, and yours also the night;
you established the sun and moon.
It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth;
you made both summer and winter (74:13–17, NIV)

God, we know you can do all these BIG things, where are you when we are needing something small like $1,000 or a job or an answer or relief or revenge or healing or just a word, God, just one….little…..word?

Silence. Silence. Silence.

This is confusing for us. This is confusing for people asking questions about God and faith. When we look at the world (or just our world) and the state that it is in, has God forgotten?

I don’t have a neat little answer for this. I wish I did. I just know that God did not enter into our contractual agreement; He is the one who drew up the covenant and it is us who have forgotten, not Him. He has always said, in bold print,

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:9–11, NIV)

I think I say that I want to follow God, but often in reality, I want Him to follow me. I want to make plans and for Him to bless them. I want Him to get me out of a jam and fix things. My wants become expectations, and unmet expectations derail me. God confuses me when I get confused about His role and mine.

I came across this passage in Zephaniah 3, a beautiful description of the tension that exists between God and man. In this case it is describing His relationship with Jerusalem, but it also describes me, or any of us. God says,

The LORD within her is righteous; he does no wrong.
Morning by morning he dispenses his justice,
and every new day he does not fail…

But our response, my response is:

She obeys no one, she accepts no correction.
She does not trust in the LORD,
she does not draw near to her God.

Those words, “draw near” are everything, not because they solve everything for me; drawing near to God does not mean He will reward me with all I ever wanted (remember Job?). But unless and until I draw near to God, I will always overestimate “me” and continually underestimate Him. Drawing near allows me to look at God closely, to know Him, to trust Him.

If I take it upon myself to judge God from any distance, then I will love Him or hate Him based on whether He gives me what I want, how and when I want it. I will not see any greater purpose in anything, and I will interpret any waiting time, any discomfort, as cruel. If I do not draw near, He and I will be connected by a thread and eventually, inevitably, I will walk away when God does not show up, believing He has deliberately forgotten His covenant with me.

Ultimately, if I am frustrated that God is not meeting me or operating by my standard, then I am following god, not God.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 13, 2010

Part 10 of “Consider This”

Guilty pleasure: in summer I run out to Value Village (love Value Village) and buy old, used magazines to read; we’re talking “People,” “Vogue,” “O,” “Us;” anything that doesn’t require something like a brain to get through. Then, floating on the lake on an air-mattress or lounging around at the beach, I read all about what sources are saying about what other sources are saying about celebrities; fascinating! Plus I get to see what they are wearing and who wore it best because I will never actually own any of these clothes; important!

What’s interesting about reading these slightly out-of-date magazines is that I get to celebrate who is together and, a few magazines away, feel bad about how they broke up all in one sitting. I get to read about an exciting new film some actress is in and then just an hour later, hear how badly she behaved on set, fought with fellow actors the whole way through and bombed at the box office! Best friends become worst friends, romance ends up in scandal, and million dollar dresses are on one magazine’s best-dressed list and in another’s worst. It’s a mad world we live in.

I am not exactly looking for life-lessons in these gossip magazines; it’s pretty hard to when you don’t know what is actually real; but I guess the outcomes speak for themselves. When you are looking at someone who is married 5 times, or is in rehab “again,” or is at the bottom when at one time they were “the most sought after,” there is a window into what must be true: disappointment, disillusionment, embarrassment, loneliness, confusion. One can assume.

Outcomes; that’s really what I am thinking about today. With the thousands of years that humans have occupied the earth, with quite a lot written down about the comings and goings of them, you would think we would be less likely to do really stupid things; but we aren’t. What we do, has been done before (nothing new under the sun, the writer of Ecclesiastes tells us, and he wrote this eons ago) so why, oh why, do we not take the lessons to heart?

It isn’t just the immediate consequences that we ought to consider but the aftershock, the thing that generations after us will feel; how about that?

Let me turn this around a little. Hebrews 13:7 calls us to, “Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.” There is so much pain to be avoided, so many mistakes we can bypass, so many good things we can have going on in our lives (and blessings to hand to the next generation) if only we would intentionally consider the outcomes of those who, in some way, are leading the way.

I have leaders in my life I watch. Some of them have official positions of leadership; others are leading and probably don’t even know it. Some people are leaders in “categories” that interest me (like acceptance, compassion, conviction, creativity, relationships, parenting, resourcefulness, youthful-optimism/curiosity); they are people who seem to have a grasp on a single thing that I am trying to understand; I watch them; I try to imitate so as to understand and own what I see. I have seen an outcome that I admire and I want that.

Right now, I am really challenged by someone in my life who has this really pure outlook about people. While I might jump to assess and categorize, this person is just curious about them and is so free of judgment. The things I notice, they don’t really spend any time on; I am convicted. Why are they like that? I want that.

I am also challenged by someone who has been a leader in the faith for well over 30 years now and isn’t moaning, curled up in a ball. Quite the opposite. He still has vision and passion and conviction; he still “sees it” and is still living it and moving through it. What has given him such staying power? I want that.

I want a certain outcome; as much as some people’s lives stand out as a warning, I am turning to see those whose lives point to a better way. I am going to make lots of mistakes, even as I have a desired outcome, I just don’t want to wreck the whole thing by mindless living.

To consider something is to think about it, with the intention of taking some action. When we consider the lives of those who are leading, when we think of qualities we want to imitate and grow in, it means watching and then it means taking initiative; we don’t wait for someone to do it for us or plan a program around it. We become like the persistent neighbor in Scripture, going after the outcome we want and not giving up right away:

“Imagine what would happen if you went to a friend in the middle of the night and said, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread. An old friend traveling through just showed up, and I don’t have a thing on hand.’ The friend answers from his bed, ‘Don’t bother me. The door’s locked; my children are all down for the night; I can’t get up to give you anything.’ But let me tell you, even if he won’t get up because he’s a friend, if you stand your ground, knocking and waking all the neighbors, he’ll finally get up and get you whatever you need. Here’s what I’m saying: Ask and you’ll get; Seek and you’ll find; Knock and the door will open.” (from The Message, a paraphrase of Luke 11:5–9)

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 11, 2010

Part 9 of “Consider This”

I am reading a book called The Book Of Awesome by Neil Pasricha. He says, sometimes we forget the things that make us smile,

“That’s why on one chilly spring night I started a tiny website called 1000 Awesome Things. For a boring guy with a nine-to-five job, it became a getaway from my everyday…with so much sad news and bad news pouring down upon us, it’s fun to stop for a minute and share a universal high five with the rest of humanity.” (P.1–2)

The website turned into a book; here are some of the chapter titles:

1. The other side of the pillow
2. Old, dangerous playground equipment
3. Illegal naps
4. Being the first table to get called up for the dinner buffet at a wedding
5. Fixing electronics by smacking them
6. When you push the button for the elevator and it’s already there
7. The five second rule
8. Using Q-tips the way you’re not supposed to use them
9. The thank-you wave
10. Getting grass stains

Every chapter ends with the same word: AWESOME. For example, in one really short chapter titled, “Neighbors with pools,” Pasricha writes,

“Hey there, neighbor. Thanks a lot for paying for that massive, expensive pool! Great job installing it, heating it, chlorinating it, vacuuming it, and skimming it. You sure it’s cool if I take you up on that offer to swing by for a quick dip? AWESOME!” (212)

You can’t read a book called, “The Book of Awesome” without smiling; you can’t read it without getting the feeling he is describing. Awesome things are (for the most part) awesome universally.

So here is a contribution of awesomeness:

“Consider the Wonders of God”

Take a long, hard look at the wonders of God; it is infinitely impossible to grasp! They are more amazing than anything you or I could ever imagine or figure out.

He pulls water up out of the sea, distills it, and fills up his rain-cloud cisterns.
Then the skies open up and pour out soaking showers on everyone.

Does anyone have the slightest idea how this happens?

Look how he arranges the clouds, how he speaks in thunder? Just look at that lightning, his sky-filling light show illumining the dark depths of the sea! This isn’t just weather, these are the symbols of his sovereignty, his generosity, his loving care. He hurls arrows of light, taking sure and accurate aim. Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love, he makes sure they make their mark. The High God roars in the thunder.

Whenever this happens, my heart stops— I’m stunned, I can’t catch my breath. Listen to it! Listen to his thunder, the rolling, rumbling thunder of his voice. His word thundering so wondrously, his mighty acts staggering our understanding.

He orders the snow, ‘Blanket the earth!’ and the rain, ‘Soak the whole countryside!’
No one can escape the weather—it’s there. He shines a spotlight into caves of darkness, hauls deepest darkness into the noonday sun and no one can escape from God. It is a wonder to behold!

Ask the animals what they think—let them teach you about God’s wonders; let the birds tell you what’s going on. Put your ear to the earth—learn the basics. Listen—the fish in the ocean will tell you their stories. Isn’t it clear that they all know and agree that God is sovereign, that he holds all things in his hand—Every living soul, yes, every breathing creature?

Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? Who can make crooked what he has made straight? God’s works are so great, worth a lifetime of study! Splendor and beauty mark his craft.

His generosity never gives out. His miracles are his memorial—this God of Grace, this God of Love. All he does is just and good; what God does is forever true; his promises never fail, his Covenant will be kept forever.

He’s so wondrous, personal and holy, worthy of our respect.

AWESOME! *

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

“Consider the Wonders of God” is a collage of scripture From Job 12, 36–37, Ecclesiastes 7, Psalm 111 from the NIV translation and The Message paraphrase.

August 10, 2010

Part 8 of “Consider This”

Who am I?

Am I the product of my parents? His genes, her genes and there you have me?

Am I little of him and a little of her and a dash of my grandparents so that you could slice and dice me and say “this came from this side of the family” and “this came from that side.” Is that who I am?

If I look to my future and all that I might be someday, do I look at the watermark left by my ancestors and hope to meet, or perhaps exceed it slightly? On the other hand, do I look at them and say, “This is all I will amount to?”

Am I my country, my city, my neighborhood, my house? Am I “that” person, “that” label, “that” and no more?

What about if life has left marks on me along the way, so that I can hardly even see whom I was if I wanted to? Maybe at one time there was potential but now, now there are all these dents, rust, pieces missing. Is this who I am?

How relevant, how irrelevant are all of those things? Will they be a leg-up for me or prove to continually ride and deride me? Will they shelter me or disable me?

Turn around and look, Isaiah 51:1 says: “Consider the rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were mined.”

“He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.” (Deuteronomy 32:4)

How have we forgotten this? Do we think we came from some landfill? Some chemical cocktail? Some mistake? How are we able to look at our own picture and just see an imprint of something we are stuck with, and not more, so much more? Only because

You deserted the Rock, who fathered you;
you forgot the God who gave you birth. (Deuteronomy 32:18)

Remember: you have a number on your birth-certificate, a mother and a father, relatives and more relatives, but you are more than this collection. You may have been handed blessings by them, or you may have been handed curses; this matters, but it doesn’t matter nearly as much as knowing the Rock from which you were cut in the first place and with absolute hope and assurance, raising your hands to your Maker you can say (shout if you will!):

‘You are my Father, my God, the Rock my Savior.’ (Psalm 89:26)

On those days when you wonder who you are, consider the Rock from which you were cut and the quarry from which you were mined because this is who you are.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 9, 2010

Last week I attended The Global Leadership Summit and had the opportunity to hear Jeff Manion speak (among others). Jeff’s talk was titled Land Between based on a book of the same title. I thought I would write about it this morning, because I so often find myself there.

If you ever find yourself saying, “for now” (as in, “I am working in this job for now…” or “I am living with my parents for now…”), this is the land between. If you ever look back at where you were or look ahead to where you want to be, you are in the land between. The land between might be a place you find yourself in a holding pattern; the land between might be a place you are in pain; sometimes you don’t know how you got there, sometimes you don’t know how you will get out; you just know you are in between.

Manion had us look at the story of Moses and pointed out what the land where Moses was living actually, physically looked like. There was Egypt to the left (all green and lush on the map) and then there was The Promised Land of Israel to the right (also green and lush) and then there was the desert of Sinai; barren and brown. This was where he wandered, in the land between. God told Moses in Exodus 3 that he would take him out of Egypt into the land of promise; there was no mention of “in between.”

Two years in and they are still there, in the land between. God is feeding them Manna for breakfast, lunch and supper and the people are sick of it. In Numbers 11:4 we hear their complaint, “If only we had meat!” Manion did a masterful job of drawing this out and then said that the land between is fertile soil for complaint. The thing about the children of Israel is that they weren’t just complaining about their situation; they were complaining against God. They were sick of eating the same thing day after day after day. They were essentially saying that life was better where they had been; life was better without God.

Jeff asked, what are you sick of? Are you sick of living here? Are you sick of the bills? Are you sick of your marriage? Are you sick of leading? Are you sick of healing a broken church?

How is God going to meet Moses here in the land between? How will God meet you?

You should read Moses’ honest prayer in Numbers 11:11–15. It is absolutely loaded with “I, me, I, me.” I have prayed prayers like this. The land between is fertile soil for emotional breakdown/meltdown. Moses says, “put me to death right now!”

Whose voice do you hear in the land between when

You are the couple facing medical tests?
* You are the one struggling to make ends meet?
* You are the parents with a child who is running away from God?
* You are the pastor navigating ministry during a time of division?

In the land between you can feel like you have a hose hooked up to you, draining you dry. Any leader gets this, understands this feeling. Church leaders feel it every time someone leaves the church. It’s like a breakup; like people are saying, “It’s not you, we just want to date other churches right now.” Be prepared for disappointment, sometimes years of it, and sometimes being a disappointment. Be prepared to feel like you can’t do it any more.

God tells Moses to go and get 70 elders. He says they will help to “carry the burden of the people.” Go and meet with God in the “tent of the meeting” and there God will take the same spirit He has put on Moses and put it on them; basically giving him 70 “mini Moses’” God uses the same language here that Moses used in his prayer: “I will, I will.” The land between is also fertile soil for God’s provision.

Manion highlighted another famous meltdown: Elijah who was running for his life. He also prayed that he might die; he said, “I am not accomplishing anything!” He wakes up and sees and smells bread. He expects a lecture and God makes him lunch. God says, “Hey, you could really just use something to eat.”

What if God still does that? What if God is still good? What if God is still gracious? Open your hands and let God provide in the land between. Maybe God will give you patience, a job, strength, contentment, courage. Maybe He will pull you out of depression, or give you what you need daily, perhaps an email of encouragement, a “spookily” well-timed verse.

Back to Moses’ story; God is providing during the “Manna Riots.” He addresses the lack of meat in Numbers 11:18–20 (read it); God says, “I will give you so much meat it will come out of your nose! Because you have rejected the Lord…” The people had turned a corner in their complaining, lashing out against God and this bordered on “cosmic treason.” God responds and says (11:23a), “are the Lord’s arms too short?” Are you questioning God’s goodness or competence?

God sends meat. Truckloads of meat. And then He disciplines them. So what does this mean, if you complain God will drop you? No. We need to remember that God disciplines. He inflicts pain for redemptive purposes, to rescue us. We are naive if we think we are immune to correction. When we entertain a spirit of complaint against God, God does discipline.

So…transformational growth happens in the land between. Trust me here, God says. Israel is an unruly mob indoctrinated in idolatry. They are not ready for the Promised Land. They were a people of slavery and they must become the people of God. This time, in the land between, is a time of preparation for them to be God’s people. God says, “I need you to learn to trust me here, at this place.”

Here we learn to pray. Here we learn to depend. It does not happen automatically; time does not automatically heal, in the land between time can make us bitter and acidic. The time we spend in the land between will determine who we will be in the future. We learn about faith (or not) here; we die here or we grow here.

Complaint, in the land between, comes as an uninvited guest. Even as you try to dislodge it, it sneaks back in, it resists eviction. Good pushes out bad, but bad also pushes out good. We need to keep inviting trust back. Even when we don’t “get it” we need to keep inviting it back.

I have visited the “land between” more than once. Sometimes I am there a few days, weeks. I have been in and out of there over the course of a year and years. I do not like it there. I do not like the sense of waiting, of walking in circles; I definitely don’t like it when the land between is painful. But Manion is right, it is the place where I can hear what is going on between God and I. There is so little furniture in the land between that the room echoes and I am so aware of what is going on inside me.

Sometimes God is just calling me to chill out in the land between; I am just in need of less noise and to be less noisy. God imposes rest on me and wants to make lunch for me but I am itching to move. In this kind of “in between” I need to just sit down a while. I say, “I don’t want to be here anymore!” and I hear God’s Spirit say, “Just stay; I am here.”

In the land between I see a lot of things in me: sometimes impatience, sometimes selfishness sometimes bitterness like barnacles beginning to attach itself and I am reminded of what I never wanted to be: bitter. So why am I bitter? I am reminded that I have always said that I never wanted to run away. So why am I running? I let Him chip off the barnacles; I let Him nudge me to move towards, instead of away. But don’t misunderstand me; this is a messy process. I don’t glide in the land between; I am clumsy; I am half a disappointment but I am seeing God do His best work here.

I really don’t like that; I want God’s best work to be somewhere in the two green areas (the one behind or the one ahead). If there is one thing I am getting though, it’s this: when we say, “God’s timing and our timing are different” this is really, really, really true. I believe God could spend all day in between because “it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:14)

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

August 4, 2010

Part 7 of “Consider This”

What do you do while you are waiting? I usually try to find some distraction, so I

a) Read a book

b) Journal

c) Play “Angry Birds” (my new, ridiculous, obsession)

d) Listen to the CBC (I’m not kidding)

e) Make a list

f) Phone someone

On most days, I would prefer not to wait. I would like to time things out perfectly so that no time is wasted because the way I see it, waiting is just the thing I do in between what’s important.

But what if waiting was the important part?

James 5:7 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return.”

Now, when is the last time I thought seriously about the Lord’s return? To tell you the truth, I don’t think a lot about it. I am not scanning the skies; I don’t wake up and say, “today?” I think about Jesus a lot and I understand the exciting inevitability of meeting Him when I die; but as for today, I think more in terms of the present journey. I don’t know when He is going to return (the Bible says I cannot) so mostly I have been looking at what’s now and what’s next.

The assumption in the book of James though, is that I am waiting; it is telling me that actually I have been waiting for 42 years; my whole life. Waiting implies a part one and part two and it is strangely comforting to know that about my life. This is only part of what God has for me and there is more to come; but I am stuck with a question then: what shall I do in the meantime?

James continues,

Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen. You, too, must be patient. Take courage, for the coming of the Lord is near.

James doesn’t say, “Since you are waiting, keep yourself entertained.” Strange, because I think this is what most of us have heard. Also, he doesn’t say, “Wait it out.” He says, “As you wait.” He assumes we all get it that the big thing is not the here and now; this isn’t all there is; so we can all agree then? We are waiting for the Lord’s return. Now, in the meantime, consider the farmers.

I am a city-girl, but even I know that while a farmer may wait for a valuable harvest, there’s a whole-lotta legwork that has happened beforehand: soil prep, seed-planting, weeding, tending and such. That should keep us busy for a while (while we wait). There is the knowing where and when and how. And then there is an eye to the weather, oh yeah and the patience part.

Patience. James says, while you are waiting: be patient. Perfect; because patience is so easy (ha). I think of patience as “biding my time and biting my tongue” but there is more to it then that. Look what we must consider about patience:

Patience means having a long, enduring, and expectant spirit. We must not lose heart half way through the season. We only have so much time while we wait, so don’t cut out early.
* Patience means keeping one eye on what we are planting and one eye to what we can imagine is coming and persevere. Every day is one day closer to Christ’s return, so get busy.
* Patience means enduring through misfortunes and troubles and learning from them. Don’t check out because of hard-times, be steady, steady; be watchful and see what will happen during this time of your life.
* Patience means that even though there will be detractors and those who both offend us and are offended by us; though we might even be injured by other people’s actions, we must keep our hat on and be mild and slow with our responses.
* Patience means we must be long-suffering, slow to get angry, slow to go after people. If you knew you were waiting half-an-hour for something, would you bother getting into a useless argument? Try to think of your life as half-an-hour.

Waiting takes on a bit of a different feel in light of all that. Yes, it is what I do in between, but it isn’t a time to be wasted. And no, we don’t wait forever, so hang in there. In fact, it is such a short amount of time, best not waste it. We only have so much time to plant what we will, so much time to tend what we have, and then we will see what comes of it all.

– Teresa Klassen

August 2, 2010

Part 6 of “Consider This”

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. -Victor Hugo

Yesterday morning I sat on my lawn-chair and a Robin hopped by on the grass with a lime-green worm as big as my finger in its beak. I don’t even know how that Robin managed to hold on to it because the worm was flipping around, protesting its capture something fierce! But the bird puffed out its crimson chest, oblivious to the worm’s displeasure, thrilled that it had found the mother-load. The bird flew off with its catch and would have a fine feast of it somewhere with its family (though undoubtedly some chick would beak off, “Not green worm again, I don’t like green worm” and the dad would say, “You’ll eat it and you’ll like it!”).

The Bible calls us to

“consider the ravens: they do not sow or reap…” (Luke 12:24 NIV)

Humans don’t do nearly as well as the birds, living on a wing and a prayer. To be like that Robin, without cupboards, would stress most of us out.

Is it possible that we can forget what freedom tastes like and come to fear it, rather than long for it? Can we come to actually treat open spaces with suspicion, preferring the cage over the sky? I wonder if we build “bird-houses” because it makes us uncomfortable that they don’t? Is having a floor and four walls so important to us, that the thought of gliding over the treetops fills us with dread rather than amazement?

What words do we assign to our present experiences? Are they descriptive of trust or apprehension?

Remember the children of Israel in the desert? Just now it occurred to me that the word we use for their experience is “wandering.” But if you were in the mix, knowing that someone was taking care of your every need, wouldn’t “holidaying” be a better description? The whole thing started with a campfire experience, with just the right amount of getting-there stories to recount later, good weather every day and, better than better, not once did they have to run into town for food or drink; they were fed morning and night by God himself. God wasn’t even subtle: cloud by day, pillar of fire by night; it wasn’t like God went away and they were wondering if He would come back.

So why were they so stressed out?

The Israelites in the desert didn’t see any beauty in it. They weren’t pinching themselves saying, “Can you believe it?” Instead, they sat by their tents at night worrying, “My life is going nowhere.”

Where is “there” and “nowhere?”
* Where is where we ought to be not where we could be?
* What is stable and unstable?
* What does predictable give you that unpredictable doesn’t give you more of?
* Is having something in your hand so much better than seeing how it gets there?

Consider the birds, they do not sow or reap; they have no storehouse or barn; yet God feeds them. And Jesus says, “you are so much more valuable than birds” (Luke 12:24). Is Jesus saying quit everything; just check out? No, He follows up His statement with: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”

So yes, quit something: quit worrying.

God is calling me to not only be OK with “not knowing” everything, but to actually relish it. Consider the birds that swoop and glide and occasionally seem suspended in mid-air, caught in some sort of up-draft; they sing for no reason, bathe in whatever puddle they can find and only create enough of a nest to rest in. Consider this.

Like us, they have a beginning of a story and an end of a story, but the whole middle is being written as we live. The whole middle is all about where we find ourselves, and who can say where that will be? Birds venture out. We need to consider venturing out…

Venture

1 : to expose to risk
2 : to face the risks and dangers of
3 : to go ahead in spite of danger

Yes, like the birds, God wants to add “venture” to our vocabulary and our experience (adventure, you see?) and quit making up dangers as an excuse to stay indoors. Quit worrying; God is with us and as P.D. James said, “God gives every bird his worm, but He does not throw it into the nest.”

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 30, 2010

Part 5 of “Consider This”

“…describe the temple to the people of Israel, that they may be ashamed of their sins. Let them consider the plan, and if they are ashamed of all they have done, make known to them the design…”(Ezekiel 43:10)

When I first read this, I got hung up in the middle, right on the word “ashamed” and didn’t really feel like blogging about it; but the more I looked at it, the more God revealed to me the beauty of this passage; the beauty of what He was revealing to Ezekiel. I am seeing that this is a “get it, got it, good” kind of verse; but to arrive at the good part, you have to get it, got it?

Do I get it about my sin or I do I think I am pretty OK with the occasional deviance. I want to say that I really get it about my sin; sometimes I do; but there are many days I think I am pretty OK (that habit of always justifying, you know?) Being that I don’t have to go and sacrifice a bird or animal for my sins, getting blood on my hands, seeing the destruction of a living creature for my wrong-doings, has made me pretty casual about my sin. I can sin against God and man and drive on; sin being a hardly noticeable speed bump: what was that? Oh, nothing.

Because I don’t usually have to confess my sins out-loud to anyone, I can mostly tiptoe into my room and whisper an “I’m sorry” to God and I am good to go. What must it have been like during the “time of the sacrifice” in Israel with all those sinners walking around, carting their offering for only one reason: they sinned? There was no sneaking into the temple. We are the same sinners today; it’s just that only a few of us have to go public.

In the passage in Ezekiel God is speaking through him and saying I ought to be ashamed of my sins, ashamed of what I have done. To be ashamed is to feel shame, guilt, or disgrace. In the Biblical context (as used in Ezekiel 43:10) another way of saying it would be “to be humiliated.”

Wordcentral.com gives a good “word history” of humiliation:

In modern English we sometimes say that a person who has been criticized or humiliated has been put down. We speak as though the person had actually been forced to the ground or made to bow down in front of someone else. The origins of the word humiliate itself also suggest the idea of physically putting someone down to the ground.

Who chooses humiliation? Not I. I also don’t like the idea of someone physically putting me down to the ground and forcing humiliation upon me.

I may have mentioned this before, but a while ago I was reading a book (Excellent read: Leading with a Limp: Turning Your Struggles into Strengths) and the author pointed out that the word “humility” comes out of the word “humiliation.” In other words, really understanding humility usually requires humiliation. At the time, I was walking through a difficult situation and the last thing I wanted was more humiliation; I wanted validation; I wanted relief. But the truth of that statement just landed on me; I know it is true. Arriving at a place of humility isn’t something I could just decide to do or not to do; if during a time of humiliation my hands remain open to God, humble is something I would be a little more of afterward, naturally.

You have to know, I don’t like anything about that process. But after, after there is something I haven’t expected: actual acknowledgment and then, freedom. There is one less thing to try and prove, one less thing to try to impress people with, one less hidden thing, one less layer; I have found, after, that I am standing before God, agreeing with Him about me: “Yes, this is really all there is.” His hand is on my shoulder, and we carry on.

Can I be ashamed of my sins without God being heavy-handed with me? I am thinking about this and realizing yes, I can, but it takes practice. Confession and repentance are both “action words” and I tend to be a lot less action-oriented about my sin. The parenting parallels are amazing. When do you get to the point where you don’t have to tell your child, “at this point you should say, ‘I’m sorry’.” Every time I have to say that, I have just removed the opportunity for sincerity. Shame is not a “repeat after me” scenario. True shame comes from a heart that has felt the cause and effect of sin and is broken up about it. True shame comes when having a right relationship really, really, really matters; it matters more than anything.

Being ashamed/humiliated clears the way for God’s plan to be seen. Looking back at Ezekiel, God has this amazing plan for how everything could work, how everything could look (if you just flip back a few chapters and even just scan the titles you can see how detailed God’s plans are; amazing). He has it all measured out, the vision is so clear in His mind. I believe He has one such plan for me, an ideal future that looks like me following Him and us engaging in something above and beyond the drudgery and pointlessness of a self-serving, sin-filled life.

This is what is encouraging about today’s passage. I think God is standing by and saying, “Just admit it.” As soon as we do so, with humility, He is rolling out the blue-prints to show us what is next. It isn’t that our sin doesn’t matter, that there are not consequences, but God factors those in. He hasn’t given up on us. He doesn’t say, “Once the heat is off, come back and talk to Me.” God walks with us, among our ruins, saying, “Picture this, we could put this here and that there, and you could use this for that…”

God is always wanting to make known to us the design.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 29, 2010

Part 4 of “Consider This”

“You of this generation, consider
the word of the LORD…”
(Jeremiah 2:31 NIV)

My first Bible had a bright red cover; it was thick and heavy, both in weight and content. I didn’t really read it; I just looked at it. I liked the small letters and the tidy columns; I liked the way it sounded when I turned the onionskin pages. There was a feel about it, like it was important, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

This is how it was for many years. Even when I was old enough to understand what the words meant; even when I could find my way around a Bible, I didn’t love it. I loved God, and I lugged around His book, but I could put it down.

Something changed; the word I would put to it is “want.” I suddenly wanted something from that book. I began to look at my Bible as something to be unlocked. I took out some paper; just plain lined paper. I read a verse and decided to talk about it and ask questions of it and write down my prayer related to it. I didn’t exactly address it to anyone but I could see that a conversation had begun between God’s Spirit and mine, and this began to change my mind about the Bible, and it began to change me.

Many years have passed now, and that conversation continues. I can’t explain it but there is something about the pen hitting the page (or my fingers hitting the keyboard) that opens up something in me and allows God to speak to me through His Word, the Bible, which I have come to love.

I never know what I am going to get when I read a verse or a page of verses. Sometimes I think, “There is nothing here for me today,” and something in me responds, “don’t give up so easily.” So I press in and I ask and I think and I pray; I am curious enough (desperate some days) to see how God will show up in places I can’t see Him and then suddenly, there He is; there is the lesson; there is what He wants me to hear.

A lot of people hate writing and the good thing about this whole “exercise” is that it isn’t about the writing, the sentence structure, the perfect paragraph with the beginning, middle and end. It is about what is happening, what is going in to your heart and what is coming out of your thoughts. It is about seeing the thing you didn’t see before, and that only happens when we slow down and write down what we are thinking about.

The precedent for this is all over the Bible:

As God was passing instructions down to Moses He said, “write these words down.” (Exodus 34:27, 43:11)
God told Habakkuk to write down the revelation he was receiving (Habakkuk 2:2)
God told John, when He was describing everything that was to come, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:5)

Of course, the biggest example is the Bible itself. It is the written down interaction between man and God in 66 books that we wouldn’t have if God had not nudged people to write it down.

I have a collection of pages now, my pen hitting the paper, the zig-zagging plot of my life companioned by God’s words. The word of the Lord has met me, guided me, saved me, stopped me, affirmed me, chastened me, warned me, and envisioned me “for the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

I want to paint a realistic picture for those who might read these words.

I do not rise at 4 and find an aesthetically pleasing corner to meditate and contemplate life and the meaning of it (although this sounds nice).
I almost always sit down in the morning at some point (because the rest of the day is crazy) and sometimes I don’t. I try to be disciplined about it, but I am not always.
I usually follow a reading guide (because I like to be forced to look at books/verses I might not naturally choose to read and I love that God knows that I am going to be reading it and has already planned something for me).
I ramble.
I have the messiest handwriting on the planet.
I don’t always finish my sentences.
On some pages in my journal (looking back) I sound like a real idiot. So what. That’s the whole point of the exercise, to see this and to let God lead me to a better way.

Sometimes my times with God’s word is brief and to the point. Sometimes they are long and rambling. Sometimes what I end up with is really beautiful. Often what I end up with makes me realize how much work God has on His hands.

God calls this generation to consider the word of the Lord mostly because the word of the Lord considers us and shows us what we cannot see about ourselves. The word of the Lord is also the way we understand the will of the Lord. God’s word points to what matters to God in every situation and gives us half a chance of actually becoming a little bit of what Jesus desired when He prayed, “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6).

We so often say, “what does God want?!?!” I picture God saying, “I already told you!”

Consider the word of the Lord.

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 28, 2010

We took this picture in Mexico; a tree growing out of nowhere; so out of place. I am sure no one was crazy enough to actually plant it there; it just decided to make something good out of a bad situation.

On another note, it is easy for me to claim, “God is good,” when times are good; maybe God is good, or maybe I just got my own way. What about on a really bad day, is God as good then? This may sound like a rhetorical question; maybe I can’t quantify when God is “the most good,” but Psalm 107 has me thinking. Verse 43 says, “Consider the great love of the Lord;” it happens right at the end of a Psalm that is largely about hard things; a whole list describing very bad human experiences:

The Psalm says there are those who will find themselves in unfriendly spaces;
* Some can’t find home;
* Others hunger and thirst.
* There are those who feel their lives “ebbing away;”
* Some find themselves in very dark places;
* Others find themselves in a state of deep depression.
* There are those who find themselves prisoners;
* Some in a bitter line of work;
* Others are just rebelling, and life is bad because of it.
* There are those who are in a bad place because of bad choices;
* Some are closer to the grave then they ought to be because of foolish living;
* Others are in perilous positions.
* There are people in actual, physical danger;
* Some see no alternatives to the distressing place they find themselves in;
* Others who were successful see success fall away.
* There are those who are humbled and humiliated;
* Some experience actual oppression;
* Others one calamity and sorrow after another.

There is so much pain in this Psalm, summarized for our convenience. Just take one and add real life to it and it stretches out for days, a year, many years; is God good then? Yet, read the Psalm; for every one of these hard things is God’s merciful response.

Psalm 107 seems to be saying, on bad days, in the middle of a mess, God’s goodness is all the more “divine.” His presence in our aloneness is an inexplicable and totally undeserved comfort. His loyalty to us when we have been betrayed, or when we have been the betrayer, is there beyond reason. Verses 1 and 2 say that God is good and His love endures far beyond our current circumstances into the incomprehensible “forever.” These “redeemed,” the one’s who get it about having nothing worth offering, see God’s goodness the most in His forgiveness and in His favor “in spite of” not “because of” our own perceived goodness.

On sunny days, when we are decent people, experiencing our favorite mountain-top, we feel good because we feel good. I guess it could also be said, we think we feel God because we feel good. I am not saying our worship of God is invalid during these heights of inspiration, but the depths prove everything we have read.

Contrary to what I think we think (“hard times test our mettle”), the dark depths aren’t the place where we show up, but where Christ shows up. On these days we cry and finally cry out (see verses 6, 13, 19, and 28); bad days cast a shadow over the stars in our eyes and leave us emptied, staring at what we’ve really made of things; but wait! Bad times allow us to understand something that Job knew, “My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:5)

God joins us so tangibly in our most desperate times. He may seem blurry (what with the tears) but God is in the room; He is rescuing what others see as beyond rescue. He is saving what seems beyond saving. He is using what seems unusable. He will do what He has promised and take possession of every circumstance for His ultimate good purposes. He always has the last word.

Psalm 107 ends by inviting those who want to walk wisely to take note of God’s love from this lens so we really get it about the great, and some versions say the loyal/steadfast/faithful, love of God. The Psalm says, to those of us who have limited experience with very bad days; those of us who have only dipped our toes in the ocean of suffering ought to consider that God’s great love is only made greater on impossibly bad days. Don’t forget.

Here His perfect love sharply contrasts what’s fickle and faulty about us. Here is when we “get it” about our lack of options and offerings and we can receive from Him. Here His goodness comes into clear focus: the green tree growing out of the bare cement wall.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 26, 2010

Part Two of “Consider This.”

I woke up this morning, thinking about things I admire in people and that lends itself well to this morning’s musings. A short list of things I have observed in people and admire:

I admire graciousness
* I admire mercy
* I admire simple courtesy
* I admire a person who can both serve others and still hold their own
* I admire people who choose joy and live joyfully
* I admire sacrifice
* I admire people who make right but difficult choices
* I admire loyalty
* I admire people who conquer something (their own personal Mt. Everest)
* I admire people who extend themselves to others (hospitality)
* I admire people who love and serve God without the jargon
* I admire creativity and creative approaches to things
* I admire people who are not easily annoyed and can smile at inconvenience and people’s little mistakes

Not a complete list, but when I see these things in action, something in me perks up and takes notice. What is it about that person? Why are they the way they are and how did they get there? How did they abandon a more selfish approach to life so that this quality comes so naturally to them?

I don’t want to compare myself to these kinds of people in an envious kind of way, although sometimes I do envy. Sometimes I am frustrated with myself and when it seems the thing I desire is so hard to attain I wish I was more like them. But that is on a self-pity day. On a good day I do compare myself to them in an evaluative way and with a sense of desire that I might also grow, knowing they are steps ahead of me.

There is a healthy approach to considering the lives of others. Psalm 37:37 says,

“Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace” (NIV).

Put another way, “Take note of the one who has integrity! Observe the godly. For the one who promotes peace has a future.”

This passage is saying don’t just glance at a person worth admiring; take a good hard look at their life; ask questions. What do they have that you want; try to figure out what allows them to be that way. Why are they leading an admirable life? What has shaped their morals and values? Why are they able to have healthy relationships? Why are they content? What is going on between them and God? Why are they peaceful? Look intently at this.

Isn’t it interesting that the Bible chooses to say that we ought to pay special attention to those who promote peace? That’s worth asking yourself a few questions over.

I think the Bible would say, don’t just search others, let yourself be searched. Psalm 139 is an invitation to God to come and run an analysis. The beautiful thing about this, from my experience, is that the Holy Spirit doesn’t check you out and leave you with a 100 things you might consider changing. His ways are loving and His timing is perfect and He usually points out the one thing He knows you are ready and able to work on.

Once we know, once we have in our hand a little piece of helpful information, we would be wise to implement those things because that person has a future and so will you; that person’s life will be memorable and so will yours.

Generally, I don’t think people do a very good job of this. There is a difference between being curious about a person’s life and taking that curiosity to another level where you actually make a mental note of something you have heard and have admired; there is another level still where you take that note out and meditate on that thing, juice it, so to speak.

How many times have I written something down and not gone back to it? It is like the grocery list I keep leaving at home on the counter; what good does it do me there?

There are some things I want to leave behind and there are some things I really want to pursue. I really hope that some of these things I will figure out before I am 80, leaving room for things I have not yet thought of. I hope I do change along the way; I hope I really am “more” the person God has designed me to be and not stuck with being stuck.

Who is future me?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 25, 2010

Would I want God to be less than He is? This came to my mind as Brian was talking to us about Proverbs 6:16–19 on Sunday and the challenging topic of God “hating” certain things. Brian asked, does the Bible really mean “hate” when it says “hate,” or is that a loose translation of an idea? Can there be divine hatred? It is an uncomfortable topic when all we can imagine is the kind of dark hatred that leads one to harm another.

Walking through Scripture (as we saw today), the Bible clearly shows that God can and does hate things, just as we do. The difference between our hate and God’s is: both the reason for and the outcome of most of our anger/hatred is rooted in sin and results in us mistreating or damaging others; but all of God is holy and righteous and what angers Him and the outcome of his anger is righteous, rooted in love and leads to fixing what is broken, not creating more brokenness. God’s response to evil is intense and of equal intensity is His protective, pursuing, abounding love.

Would I want God to be less than He is; less passionate? Having less of a zeal for what is right or less anger over what is wrong? What if God were more polite about addressing evil and would say, “Pardon me, if you don’t mind, could you not…?” What if He used a toned-down word like “it bothers me when” or “I am irritated by;” but hate?

God isn’t mildly perturbed by the things that steal, kill and destroy His handiwork; He hates it. God experiences and expresses OUTRAGE with a thundering “How Dare You?!”

God hates what has poisoned and perverted what was meant to be perfect. God hates what diminishes and excludes and sets up class-systems. God hates untruths and half-truths and the withholding of the full truth. He hates cutting words and abusive behavior. He hates gossip and cruelty. He hates it when people are violated and innocence is stolen. He hates that evil fascinates some and tempts all. God hates division and dissension anywhere and everywhere.

And shouldn’t we? Isn’t there a rightness to that? Don’t we know that we ought to have more of an opinion, more of a reaction to evil?

God’s hate does not lead Him to neglect and abandon (as ours does); it leads Him to invite us to His home. It does not lead Him to turn His back on people (as ours does) but to give us His very life for people everywhere. God’s hatred of the dark leads Him to reveal, and reveal again His light; countless times. He is disgusted at waywardness and where it has led us, and then stepped right into the middle of it to show us the way home.

Do you see the difference between Him and us?

I don’t even know how to really express how that makes me feel. I am in awe of a God who is so angry at all that is wrong, so angry that He hovers over me, watching all my waking and sleeping moments, calling me and calling me to not lose my way. I matter; I matter so much that He has and will again shout “NO” to wickedness and all that is foul and loathsome. He hates that this world is hateful. He hates that we take free-will and make life a living hell. He hates that every day people hurt people and brother turns against brother.

If you have ever felt violated, it is amazing to think that the God of the universe has felt a world of violation (ours included) to His core and He doesn’t wink at it or accept it. He doesn’t treat it like it is nothing or say that, given enough time, it won’t hurt quite as much. He doesn’t shrug His shoulders or pretend it isn’t there. God hates what ought to be hated and it is the kind of hatred that does not make Him less loving; it makes Him more.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 24, 2010

Consider This: Part One

Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you. (Deuteronomy 32:7, NIV)

One of my favorite family stories is of my Great Grandfather, Abraham Harder. From the time he was young, he had felt a calling from God to establish an orphanage in Russia. He had a heart for children who didn’t “belong” anywhere and were being passed from home to home during a very difficult period of time in that country, the early 1900s. On the pages of our family memoir (from a self-published book titled “Portraits of the Past”) a little of their story is told,

“In 1906 they purchased some property which included a large house, barn and granary, a garden and some land. Later, a large modern school building was added along with a boys dormitory. Eventually they also purchased another farm for the purpose of training older boys farming, gardening, and shop skills. This was a faith venture! They trusted God for the money needed and for the food. The number of orphans grew from year to year until it reached 80 children, during 1921–22″ (18).

Life was so difficult for them. They walked through a severe famine and were, a times, on the brink of starvation; but God always provided for them, just when they needed it most.

The new revolutionary government began noticing the orphanage and forbade my Great Grandparents from teaching “religious instruction” and ordered a communist curriculum. My Great Grandparents refused to comply. So, in 1922 they were told to leave the orphanage and to take only their personal belongings.

I have heard this story many times now and the part that catches me every time is the ending: on the school building, Abraham fastened the word “Ebenezer,” which means “thus far has the Lord helped us.” It is from 1 Samuel 7:12 in the Bible. It was written in large letters, set in concrete, and “When the government took possession of the building, the letters were removed. Yet, in spite of this, the word could still be read, for the letters had been pressed into the concrete” (20).

I love that line. I love that the communists tried to wipe God out of that place but could not, because God was in the very concrete. They would have to actually demolish the buildings (which they eventually did) to hide the truth that God was with Abraham’s family and all those children; and even then they could not because God was in the foundation of their lives and the truth has lived on for generations now.

When I consider the generations long past, even just the ones in my direct lineage, that story continues to speak to me. Has there ever been a time when God has not walked with us? Thus far, no.

My Great Grandfather knew something about conviction and his story can not be told without that character trait. The truth of this, mentors me. I think this is what Deuteronomy is pointing to when it calls us to consider the generations long past; it is the call to glean the lessons of those who came before us for the purpose of mentorship. What did they do right? What did they do wrong? Everything is a teacher; every story becomes a guide for our own footsteps.

Job 8:8 goes further and says

“Please inquire of past generations, and consider the things searched out by their fathers. For we are only of yesterday and know nothing…” (NIV)

It has a bit of a dig to it, doesn’t it? Essentially it is saying, “You’re just a kid; what do you know?” I don’t like being told, “You really have a lot to learn,” and yet that is exactly what this verse is saying. My tendency is to want to prove that I am all grown up; this verse is saying I am a long way off from that.

The problem is, the mantra of our generation is “don’t look back.” We are about advancement. We are about the next thing. We are about the new and the innovative. We definitely don’t want to be told the same story twice. The Bible takes a completely different approach. The Bible is about slowing down, not speeding up. God laughs at our latest time-saving-life-altering gizmos,

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV)

The Bible calls us to pause, look back and remember. There really are lessons that stand the test of time and we ought to know those things and let them warn us, guide us, comfort us, and compel us.

Who should I be looking to?

-The lives of the authors and characters contained in the Bible. Learning from the people described in the Bible is like winning the wisdom lottery. There are 66 books loaded with stories of criminals and heroes; love and hate; faithfulness and waywardness; happy endings and horrible endings. I get the inside scoop of what went right and what went wrong and I get to walk away with the lesson and apply it to my own life.
– The lives of my own family members. Some of who I am has been shaped by where I have come from. Where have I come from? What was important to the people one, two, three generations before me? Who was noble, who was not? Who can I admire, who do I definitely not want to be like? How have they handled the big questions of life and death and family and faith?
– The “others.” Whether you find it in a great memoir, or in a conversation with a stranger, we ought to see ourselves as “gleaners,” always looking for the “moral of the story” in the stories we hear.

This whole process though, requires something of me. I need to step out of my self-contained life and want to consider what there is to learn from generations long past:

1. By being open

Am I open? Or am I a know-it-all? If I don’t think I have anything to learn from someone older than I (living or not) then I will get exactly that: nothing. But if I believe that someone else has something to say to me (this requires humility), I am well on my way.

2. By being grateful

If I am living in a world that I believe is of my own making then I shouldn’t even try to learn something from the generations long past. But if I believe I am indebted to the past, then I will approach this process of listening and learning with a spirit of gratitude, knowing I am building my life on the backs of others.

3. By being patient

I am so impatient. I have realized that the internet has done something to me: it has made me a “scanner.” When I am looking for information, I am looking for a summary of everything. I want whatever it is to get to the point. But learning from those who have walked before us is a slow brew. We need to let it be that. One of my pet-peeves at funerals is when a person’s life is summarized with 10 quick facts. How can that be? That person lived for 80 years and all we can say is where they came from, who they married, how many kids they had and a little about their profession? Tell me their life lessons; no one’s story is ordinary, so tell me what made them unique. I want to know. Again, can’t we sit a while and talk?

5. By asking

People have things to say, but no one asks. How many opportunities have you had to tell your story thus far? I need to learn the art of asking questions because, logically, it’s the only way I will get answers. Don’t just wonder about things in your head; ask.

What is a lesson I walk away with from my Great Grandfathers story? It’s this: would I have words that I would stamp into the concrete? When I leave the building, what’s there that wouldn’t easily be erased? I have my own verse, in keeping with my Grandfather’s convictions, and it has kept me clear for many years now:

“Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV)

I hope I do this; I hope this is the thing that outlives me.

What have you learned from considering the generations long past? I would love it if you would join the discussion and leave a comment in the box below…

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 23, 2010

Two nights ago I was having a relaxing evening hanging out with my favorite Michael. He was tidying up a paper he had to send off, and I was tidying up my account with WordPress. I had some old/unused accounts; names I had reserved but had changed my mind on and I decided to just get rid of them since they were making my dashboard crowded. So, I read up on what I needed to do and then I checked off the account I wanted to delete and hit “next”.

A very big, scary warning came up saying that to delete a blog is a PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE ACTION and did I really want to do something PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE. I have to admit, it gave me a chill! I went back and double checked: did I have the correct blog selected. Yes indeedy! So again, next step, big scary warning, and I said, “Yes.” Yes I want to go down that road and I am prepared for the consequences; bring it on!

The next thing that happens, when one is deleting a blog, just to help people like me who might suddenly have second thoughts even after saying, “Yes”: an email is sent where you are able to click a link which is now the final, final step. Here is where I think WordPress might reconsider it’s final, final step; I would like to suggest that there be a final, final, final step.

So I clicked the link and then merrily went back to see my neater global dashboard. Oddly, when I clicked on my “OneBrownLeaf” address a message appeared on a stark white screen that said, “The authors have deleted this blog. The content is no longer available.” That must be a mistake, I thought, and refreshed the screen. That must also be a mistake, I thought, seeing the very same message. I closed Firefox and opened it once more; I typed in the address and there it was telling me I had deleted my blog.

I said (with some volume) “Oh no!!!!!” I may have said this repetitively, I can’t quite recall, what with the light-headedness and my hands pressed over my eyes.

I quickly found the WordPress support and emailed them something with the subject line, “Hellllllllp!!!!!!!!!” I could picture my blog just dangling there, not quiet gone, retrievable like a wedding ring on the edge of the drain and if I got the word out fast enough they would respond and say, “Because of your quick thinking, Mrs. Klassen, we were able to save OneBrownLeaf from imminent destruction! Congratulations!”

WordPress has not returned my S.O.S. thus far, and it has given me some time to reflect on this experience.

When my website disappeared, I just kind of blanked out; I think it was the words PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE. When some things go wrong in life, that is the way it seems. In varying degrees, a sense of panic creeps up my spine and spiders into my thoughts, wrapping my mind in a web of worry. I don’t consider myself a worrier, but that is when there is nothing to worry about. When something goes wrong, I can obsess over it. I can lose sleep over it. I can wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

But what is PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE? 1 Corinthians 10:13 (in the Bible) says,

“No Temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

There are two words in this verse that might throw us off, the first temptation and the second be tempted can be a bit confusing; here’s another way of looking at it:

“For no temptation (no trial, adversity, affliction, trouble), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.”

There are some pretty serious things that we wrestle with in life and I do not mean to make light of pain; but I must gently suggest (note to self) that even pain is a door we can walk through; we can find ourselves in a new place, when we are ready, if we choose to do so. 1 Corinthians 10 isn’t just for the garden variety trials, after all. Even our worst things can have an alternate ending.

With that disclaimer, I will return to my blog story. What was PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE there? My actions were; kind of, but not really. I did lose something: an address, connections with some strangers/followers, traffic; but I was able to piece most of it back together because I had a backup. Last week I made a backup file of my blog. I didn’t really know how to do this, but I kind of figured it out and had even made a back-up site. I am sure this was God saying, “I think I should give that girl a shove in the right direction, because next week she is going to do something really stupid. Let’s help her out.”

I had glanced at the backup I had made at the time, but hadn’t really checked it out thoroughly and I think this was at the root of my panic-moment. The fact that I had a back-up didn’t jump out in front of me and say, “No worries! Got you covered!” When the reality of my error hit, I just froze. I should have known my back-up better because then, when my site went down, my error would have annoyed me, but that’s about all.

So many of the things I face, the things I have angst about are just perceived dangers. Something happens and all I can see is white and I have a horrible feeling something just went terribly wrong. Maybe it actually did, but is that it?

1. First of all I can breathe, knowing that nothing is wasted. God has promised me that even the most troubling circumstances can all be turned around and used for actual good (Romans 8:28).
2. God always has a strategy. I read this once (Ortberg, I think), that if one pictures life as a chess board, God always has a play, no matter how the pieces are arranged on the board. So, even though there are real worries in life, as 1 Corinthians 10 reminds me, there is always another move.
3. I am never alone in any situation. Sometimes we just need to step out of the room and talk to Jesus who is ready, willing and able to help us (Isaiah 41:10)

How many times has God watch me sweat it out before I remember my back-up? If I am putting myself through the wringer, it is a clear sign that I either do not trust that my back-up is real or that my back-up is trust-worthy. If either of these theories are true, that means I have not taken the time to thoroughly look at Who my back-up is and how He operates. Put plainly, I don’t know Jesus; I am not familiar enough with His Words for them to make any difference.

So my little story has a happy ending, but not all my stories do. Sometimes what I have invested in is “gone” and sometimes the thing that mattered is “over” and sometimes it has felt as if the pain of something will “never go away”; but PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE? No. As in the case of my blog, we do not walk through life unscathed, but in Christ, nothing is completely lost. Our perception of things cries, “What good could ever come of this?” And our back-up, Jesus, shows us how mercy works and always has the final, final, final word.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” (Isaiah 43:2)

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

Afterword: take some time to read Psalm 116

Afterword: my original site is back, up and running. For full details, read this post on my site.

July 21, 2010

Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years; awake at six and back down at ten or eleven (check the calendar before you go to sleep so you know what is facing you the next day). Much of what I do between the hours is forgotten; at the end of the week when someone asks me, “how was your week,” I often can’t remember how it was.

Proverbs (in the Bible) today, is urging me to do more than “live out” my days: “The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way” (Proverbs 14:8).

Do I, do you understand your way?

Do you ever stop doing, doing, doing. Just stop? I don’t mean the kind where you drop onto the couch and flick on the TV. I mean the kind where you choose to stop and think with purpose.

Do you pause between one thing and another? Or do you just blaze ahead, solve your dilemma, find a new job (*This from a Twitter today: “Heard this recently: “The average person under 40 will change jobs every 20 months for the rest of their lives.” Pete MacIntosh), latch onto a new relationship, move on, move out, move in, move over? A certain group of monks always observe the “moments between moments” and we would do well to do the same, to understand where we have just been and where we should be next (not just could be).

Do you ask yourself good questions? I don’t mean the heat-of-the-moment ones, I mean the smart, unhurried ones that actually help you understand you, your life, your world?

Do you ask yourself good questions? I don’t mean the heat-of-the-moment ones, I mean the smart, unhurried ones that actually help you understand you, your life, your world?

What’s going on in that inner world of yours these days?

There’s many-a-day where I just get through it and get it done; but something is amiss in all of that; something tugs at me and calls me.

This morning I was thinking about all of this while swimming laps at JBMAC. The first half is me working way too hard to get across the pool (do not imagine style and grace), but the second half I just put the fins on, get out a board and I swim, head down, staring at the blue tiles at the bottom of the lane; and I think. No one says a word to me in the sanctuary of the water; and so, back and forth and back and forth, thinking about this Proverb.

A whisper: a word comes to mind and I am more than a little excited to unlock it. That’s how I find God works in me; sometimes one word out of His Words. Sometimes a little thought and it sends me somewhere, on a journey. It doesn’t always happen this way, I don’t always feel like going on a journey. I miss words; I miss nudges. Sometimes I am just distracted; sometimes I really do not want to hear from God. But when my ears are open; things come to mind and I turn it over and over and hope that the seed finds fertile soil in my heart.

Even if we don’t travel anywhere in particular, we are travelers; pilgrims. We are designed to discover things – far away things or things in our own backyard; things that are distant from us, things that are in front of us. Mike did a great paper on this topic, based on a book he read called the “Art of Pilgrimage” (if you want to know more, go to http://www.mybookreviews.info). He quotes in his paper,

“We all have a longing to discover something and unfortunately we can travel and not actually discover, we can put on miles and not see anything. Mark Twain says that travel has a way to eliminate narrow-mindedness, but this requires of the traveler a kind of introspective; as she covers the ground outwardly, so she advances fresh interpretations of herself inwardly.”

And this is what Proverbs is calling us to: fresh interpretations. How fresh are mine? Am I living on interpretations handed off to me? Knocked into me? Borrowed from others? Am I interpreting life based on correct understanding or out of my illusions or disillusionment? Would my whole life change if I had a new interpretation of it?

The way you tell me to live, God, is always right; help me understand it so I can live to the fullest. (Psalm 119:144 MSG)

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

Afterword: The word that came to mind as I swam was the word “consider;” that might not seem like anything to you, but it is my white rabbit. If you want to know where it is taking me; here is what I did next. I made a list of “consider the” phrases found in the Bible and I am going to take a run at each one over the next weeks. Join me if you like; its a work in progress. If you want to follow along, visit http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com Read More

6,857,000,000 Reasons Why

July 20, 2010

"He whose walk is upright fears the LORD, but he whose ways are devious despises Him." (NIV)

Put another way

"An honest life shows respect for GOD; a degenerate life is a slap in His face." (MSG)

There are billions of people in the world; 6,857,000,000-ish. Looking at Proverbs 14:2 (in the Bible) today, the first thing that crossed my mind was, why does God take my actions so personally? If I am choosing to be a deviant, there are roughly 6,856,999,999 alternatives.

Looking to the left, let’s say I was a total Athiest and had absolutely no regard for, no interest in, not even a passing thought that God is real and has a personal interest in me. So what? What’s one or even a million Athiests to God? Let them live their life believing this is all there is and in the end, the end. So what if they go about their life explaining everything their way and not glancing up, not even once; it isn’t like God needs them and apparently they don’t need Him either. They ask nothing, they would get nothing (except vicariously, benefiting from other’s faith systems that keep the world in check). Let’s even half the population, that still gives God a lot of material to work with: 3,428,500,000.

Moving to more middle-ground, so what if there are a pile of people who loosely believe there is a heaven and hell and live more like the latter? So what if they pay God a visit only twice a year, but use His name more regularly to vent off assorted frustrations? So what if they have a cocktail of beliefs which conflict more than they agree? Let’s say that gives God only one-quarter of the earth’s people who will return His affection. That’s still 1,714,250,000; but who’s counting?

Jesus wanted us to know something: God counts. Trying to help us understand the nature of God, Jesus painted a word picture for us:

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." (Matthew 18: 12-14)

This passage is only one of many that describe the lengths to which God will go to save even one little person (check out Luke 15 for a series of stories, for example). What a waste of time, hey? I mean why go after someone who’s like, “Why are you following me, get lost.”

While it is true that God’s image is stamped on me, I have to remember that my image is not stamped on God. I let relationships go when it seems they have run their course; God doesn’t. God doesn’t twist any arms, that’s true; but He keeps showing up at the door:

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

So, back to Proverbs. First of all, it would be good to just look at what kind of person is being described in that verse. This person has or is “departing” or “turning aside” from the good standard God set for all of creation. Something is “going wrong” in them and they are following a “crooked” path; if they continue down the course they are tracking, they will be “lost from view.”

Why does this matter so much to God. Honestly, there are so many people. Will God even remember me if I fall away?

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Luke 12:6-7)

I can’t explain why I, why you, matter so much to God; why He counts and checks and re-checks. I don’t know why He wants me to have an abundant life. I don’t know why He wants to fill our hearts with faith and hope and love and joy. I don’t know why He wants to walk with us through every single trial we encounter and strengthen us. But God sets a table before us…this reminds me…

Years ago, we went on a cruise as a family. Of course, the highlight is the food. So each night we would sit down to a feast: steak, lobster, creme-brule! It was a wonder! Every night, Nathan ordered a hot-dog; I’m not kidding. The Server was so dismayed; had Nathan looked at the menu? Didn’t the thought of freshly made crab cakes make his mouth water? I can’t imagine how insulting that must have been for the chef!

It’s a weak comparison, but I think my off choices must feel like that to God. I could be living an astounding life if only I would follow the recommendations of the Mind behind it all; but no, I choose scraps of things, pressed together, and call it a life. That’s a slap in the face. It doesn’t matter that I am only one person, if I am a person that God created. I mean what work of art doesn’t matter to the artist. Every one reminds Him of a time and a place and a thought and an inspiration.

God literally slaved over us (Philippians 2:7–9 says He, “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!) so yeah, our response to His extreme measures matter just a little bit.

I matter, you matter; 6,857,000,000 people matter, so much so that God pursues us in earnest and calls out to us, “Today, when you hear My voice, do not harden your heart…” (Hebrews 3:15).

—Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 19, 2010

Isolation/Insulation
19 07 2010

Dear Matt, I am trying to respond to the Message that you gave yesterday; I have had a few false starts. It is really hard to talk about Proverbs 18:1 and, specifically, the topic of isolation without it sounding like

a) I am ranting

b) I am complaining

c) I am justifying

d) All of the above.

What I realized as I was chewing on this topic was that isolation has an ENORMOUS appeal. Isolation doesn’t mean I have to be some social-outcast, after all; it just means I get to be choosy. Isolation means I can hand-pick, right? “Isolate” the variables so that what I am left with, fits; fits me exactly.Yes, I like that.

People use other words for isolate (no one is going to say, “we have chosen to isolate ourselves” or “isolate you out of our life”) but the end result is the same. Isolating means I get to single-out those things I want and leave everything else, to someone else. Isolating is a dash towards more pleasant pastures so that whatever is unpleasant can’t really touch me (distance does that). Isolation can feel as if I am getting my life back: If I can choose, I hold the cards, I control the play.

Also, Isolation sounds a lot like insulation which sounds warm and safe; a barrier. I have window shopped there (Barriers-R-Us) and oh, some of those walls are so appealing: 2 foot ones, 3 foot ones, 10 foot ones, whatever I need! I have wondered if I can follow Christ and serve people but not care; you know, not let it bore down into my heart so much. I am wondering if those barriers would protect that vulnerable side of me and maybe I would sustain less bruises? Ah, there I go again about me; you are right about isolation being about fulfilling my own desires versus Christ’s, but “me” feels things and some of those things I am pretty tired of feeling.

In times of solitude (a different thing from isolation), finding what I believe in again, isolation comes and sits with me and lists off its benefits. Isolation is slick; it always, always nudges me away, towards an exit. Isolation removes itself; excuses itself with excuses. Several times a week, isolation plays its violin outside my window and I give it a nod.

Matt, you said, “I need to be for you, and you need to be for me;” stuck together somehow in this handshake called “community”. I must acknowledge that isolation follows the laws of gravity (a law I understand), whereas Community is a lofty idea that is harder to grasp. It is so like Jesus to ask us to do something upside down, once again. None of anything Jesus asked us to do involves us being isolated (from brother or friend). Any sort of solitude is only so we can get our head screwed back on so that we can jump right back into the multitude that Jesus had compassion for; the unruly, unmanageable multitude; that one.

“Being with” and “walking with” can be heartbreaking, humiliating and just plain hard. Who would sign up for this? But I did. I didn’t just sign up for Jesus without saying I would follow Him, and I didn’t say I would loosely follow Him; I said I would be a part of the group; that I would throw myself into the mix to affect the world. I didn’t tell Him what I would be willing to do, just that I was willing.

So yeah, bummer, I have had some things ripped off of me along the way as a result. I will not pretend it is fun or funny or pleasant in any way. I don’t always love community; especially not when it is prickly. But I love Jesus and in His defense, whatever pain I have experienced by “being with” people, God has made good of it (or is in the process of).

The service ended with communion and I really loved how you drew this message into that act. In communion we symbolically acknowledge our non-isolation. Jesus, you did not isolate yourself from me, and as I take the bread and cup, I am saying to you that I am not isolating myself from you; and by taking it with my brothers and sisters, we are saying we are all committed to end isolation and live integrated lives.

Integrate: to form or unite into a larger unit; to end the segregation; to find commonness and accept each other as equals.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 16, 2010

Do you see anything different?

Look close…anything?

It’s just that Proverbs 13:9 says that the, “light of the righteous shines brightly.” And I wondered…

This Proverb seems so simple but I have really wrestled with it. I think it is these two words “righteous” and “the light” that have me sitting here thinking.

The Bible says, that no one is righteous, not even one person (Romans 3:10), so what is the point of this Proverb? No-one’s righteous.

Any earning if righteousness we think we are capable of, well, we should just know right now we can stop trying; that would be one less thing on our to-do list. If I was good today, “Way to go,” I can tell myself, but should quickly add, “just so you know, you are about to screw up.” You and I just can’t get it right. For every person who declares themselves, “good,” there are two others snickering in the background because they know just how bad we can be.

We should sigh deeply at this point because it is a distressing truth. The “world” will say, “You’re fine. Why all the angst?” It is because we aren’t fooled by the “eat, drink and be merry” message; it’s not that merry. We know something is broken and can’t be mended. No one is righteous. Not even one. “Woe is me,” the prophet Isaiah said as he thought about this, “I am a man of unclean lips, living among people of unclean lips.” (Isaiah 6:5)

Thank God, the Bible goes on to say, “Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins” (Romans 3:24)!

This idea of being “freed” is something known as “redemption.” Redemption, in case you were wondering, is my favorite word.

Redemption, the idea that something otherwise discardable can be made new and usable, when applied to people, is a magnetic message.
* Redemption, the idea that something can be changed for the better means that I have something to live for.
* Redemption, the idea that something is gained because something else was cashed in, both crushes me and motivates me when I realize what I gained because Jesus cashed His own life in for me.

This whole thing, by the way, is called the “Good News.” What else would you call it?

I just had to start with that, because understanding who is righteous and why is really important. We shouldn’t be all high on ourselves thinking we are better than anyone else. We can put all our self-righteousness away now, because our righteousness is the Good News of Jesus declaring, “got you covered.”

So, Jesus gave us the ability to be called righteous, which is awesome, and because it is truly “awesome” we don’t just go on as if nothing happened. As the saying goes, “to those who have been given much, much is required” (Luke 12:47–49). I have been given something (that’s the Good News) and that makes me a carrier.

So I am a carrier of a light and must move into all the dark shadows and bless the world because of how I have been blessed: “May your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven…” (Matthew 6:10)

I think we need to ask some questions about that. People who don’t follow Christ can “shine.” Good deeds stand out in a mostly selfish world no matter who does them; letting “your light” shine is not a concept reserved for Christ followers. There are lots of people who do nice things, altruistic things! So, do Christians just have to be nicer still? Kind of a one-up idea?

I think being clear about “the light of the righteous” is pretty crucial:

”...the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light. And for those who lived in the land where death casts its shadow, a light has shined.” (Matthew 4:16)
* “So when Mary and Joseph came to present the baby Jesus to the Lord as the law required, Simeon was there. He took the child in his arms and praised God, saying, “Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised. I have seen your salvation, which you have prepared for all people. He is a light to reveal God to the nations, and he is the glory of your people Israel!” (Luke 2:28–32)
* Jesus said, “I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark .”(Luke 12:46)

The thing that is shining brightly is not “shiny-us.” It isn’t our goody-goodness. The light is Jesus and He saved our necks. Jesus’ Good News isn’t a “good perspective” message; it is upsetting! It means I have to acknowledge my sin; it means I have to follow a wildly upside-down message that will throw my whole life in another direction. But this light is fiercely loving, unafraid and undaunted, sacred, supernatural, unquenchable, unstoppable. That kind of light has heat.

I am writing those words as I am sitting near a mirror, looking at myself and thinking about what big ideas those are for such a little person as I to carry; I am not really the Olympic Torch Bearer type. How can I do justice to a Light like that?

Bright is attractive, which means I better not be unapproachable or unrelatable or untranslatable. I better not be prudish or judgmental or spout off about stuff. I better not be driven by an agenda or abuse my relationships as if I am some network-marketer-for Jesus.

What had I better be?

I better be living in the light, for heaven’s sake. Sometimes I am just so catatonic and that is pretty lame, considering.

The only thing I carry, the only thing I have to offer anyone that is of any value is Jesus. But I can’t go out and just go on and on about Him; I have to go out and be a living example of Him living in me.

A pretty good description of “how-to” is found in Galatians 5:22 (another book and verse in the Bible):

“The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another (5:22)

It can’t be faked.We can’t treat Galatians with a checklist and good acting. Notice how the verse says, “The Holy Spirit produces in us…” Similar to Jesus declaring us righteous. It is mostly Him and mostly not us. Our part is one word: submission.

What ought to shine in me is my continual surrender to the Holy Spirit’s leading in my life (and in case you think I have this “continual surrender” thing down, I don’t). None of us are “shiny” in and of ourselves. It is what the Holy Spirit produces that shines and sometimes it is just astounding the tiny little things that end up being the brightest, because He makes it so.

I love this definition of light: that which makes seeing possible.

Hm. Someone else’s light helped me see The Light. Now I am a carrier and must do the same. See how that works?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 13, 2010

“We represent the Lollipop Guild and wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.” Wizard of Oz

Here’s the word: represent. Defined by the Urban Dictionary, “represent” is a verb meaning, “A phrase showing acknowledgment to one’s background, home, social group, or original place of residence. Also similar to giving a shout-out to one’s homeboys” as illustrated in this dialogue:

Interviewer: So you’re from West Kelowna?
Interviewee: That’s right, homeskillet. K-Town, represent!
(TK: haha)

Perfectly clear? Let’s move on.

Here’s the question: do I “represent” honestly? If I don’t, what’s with that?

Proverbs (in the Bible) presents an interesting nugget to think about today

One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth (13:7).

Why would one pretend to be rich when they aren’t? Here is what I came up with:

because wealth spells success and who doesn’t want to be seen as successful?
* because wealth attracts people and who doesn’t want to be attractive?
* because wealth is smart and who doesn’t want to be smart?
* because people listen to wealth and who doesn’t want to be listened to?
* because wealth is somebody and who doesn’t want to be a somebody?

Why would one pretend to be poor when they aren’t? Here is what I came up with:

because wealth creates complications and who wants complications?
* because wealth makes you accountable and who wants to be accountable?
* because wealth can be blinding and who doesn’t want to be seen?
* because wealth is a magnet and who wants to feel stuck with all that?
* because wealth is a conversation and who doesn’t want to talk about something else?

I am looking at both sides of this coin and can only see trouble for the person who misrepresents. Unless one makes a careful habit of keeping relationships short and light, our real life will eventually be exposed, and then what?

Whether one has a lot or a little, many believe that possessions define us and we are either ashamed or resentful as a result. With this attitude we believe either that we aren’t really worth knowing because of what we don’t have, or we suspect that we are only known for what we do have and are left wondering what we are really worth to others.

I can see how either way is lose-lose. Wealth (have it or don’t have it) has got to live somewhere else in our lives.

I think God calls us to be exactly who we are, where we are, wholly, humbly and honestly. But the harder exercise in all of this is asking who we really are and where we really are honestly. Pretending to be poor or pretending to be rich is saying something. What? (That’s yours to figure out)

If we “are” our economic status, that is exactly how others will see us; why would we expect anything different? What do people hear us talking about? What do they see us passionate about? Where are we spending our time? Is it our wealth or lack of it that dominates our conversations? Is it our driving ambition to succeed? Is it our catalog of wants? People will refer to us by what we reference most often.

If our lives are about something more, then our wealth (have it or not) becomes a foot-note. Or will it? Won’t having and not-having still loom large in people’s assessment of us? Assessment is an exercise that requires information. If we want an assessment that more fairly represents who we really are then we have to put out what matters to us.

We have to represent what we represent.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 12, 2010

I don’t even want to write about this one today:

“The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.” Proverbs 13:4

Don’t you hate it when you know what you ought to do but don’t feel like doing it? You know that what you ought to do will have a good result in the end, it is just that the thing you ought to do is quite often not that appealing.

Yesterday, Brian referred to the Law of Causality in his message; the definition is as follows:

“Causality is the relationship between an event (the cause) and a second event (the effect), where the second event is a consequence of the first.” (Wikipedia)

Side note: To me, it sounds kinda obvious, but do a little reading on it and you will see that philosophers have philosophized about the Law of Causality to oblivion.

Proverbs 13:4 urges us to be diligent so that our desired outcome will be realized. Diligence, in case you are interested, is “careful and continued work.”

See, that is the problem right there. Unless you are like my mother who thrives on doing the jobs no one else will do—the unrewarding ones that take a long time and are really picky and tedious and boring—“careful and continued work” isn’t particularly attractive.

Diligence needs a zippy marketing campaign to draw us in a little more. For example, here is a picture I found that came with the caption, “Cleaning The Toilet Can Be Fun!”

Some guy hooked up a drill to his toilet brush. So, maybe not the best idea, but at least he is making an attempt at jazzing up what is otherwise a tedious job.

Or there are the guys who thought they could make vacuuming fun by turning it into a game:

(actually, you should read their blog: http://tinyurl.com/29dsk8z. They have 10 suggestions for making vacuuming fun or, “fun-er”)

As I am writing this, I am realizing something. It is hard to be diligent because it lacks the fun factor. Anything that is “careful and continued” has a bit of an assembly-line sound to it. If someone says to me, “Hey, do you want to do something carefully and continuously for a while and see what happens?” I will be inclined to take their temperature.

At the same time, the Proverb says that the sluggard craves. Am I the only one relating to this? I mean there are things I genuinely want to see happen in my life—good things, smart things. Some of these things I go after, but I definitely have a list of things I crave that I don’t see happen because the Law of Causality proves that my lack of effort equals lack of results.

I like how the Proverb ends: fully satisfied. If we apply some diligence, we will be fully satisfied. Doesn’t that just sound good to say?

“I am fully satisfied because I have put in my full effort; I have been diligent and I can now sit back and look at what has come as a result.”

Does that ever sound simple. In reality, all it takes is 5 little words to kill the momentum: I don’t feel like it. If I look at what I do, much of it is based on how I feel. I feel happy so I do this. I feel hungry for something in particular so I eat that. I feel energetic about something specific so I do that specific thing. But ask me to do something that falls into my “dislike” category and I am not really going to feel like doing that, so I won’t unless I have no other option.

The problem with having no other option (and you can put yourself in place like that – rehab, bootcamps, programs, structures, prison) is that someone else is governing your behavior.

To be diligent is an act of free-will, to be a sluggard is an act of free-will. To crave is an option. To be satisfied is an option.bIt is frustratingly simple and simply frustrating at the same time.

I just have to pray, God, help me with those areas I tend to be lazy in. Help me to change that mindset of being governed by what I feel like doing and move me towards acting on what is good. Help me to be “diligent about being diligent.” I don’t want to miss out of any of what you have for me simply because of a lack of effort on my part.

So today…what is that saying?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 11, 2010

Just reflecting on Brian’s message today (Proverbs 2). There were some BIG challenging ideas, but something small is bouncing around in my head just now; it has to do with voices.

Brian pointed out that there are different kinds of wisdom with different kinds of voices.

On one end of the line there is actually evil/false counsel. That is easy to dismiss if you are doing your best to stay away from evil but wait; I am asking myself, “Would I recognize evil counsel if it spoke to me?” Of course I would; wouldn’t I?

Evil is not always obvious, you know. It is cunning and crafty and it isn’t going to ask me straight out to become an axe murderer. No, it will even use godly things to sidetrack me. For those whose hearts are turned towards God, it will lure us with what we are familiar with; with what we want God to sound like; towards where we want to go rather than where we ought to go. Evil’s voice is subtle; if it were loud it would scare us and we would run. Evil’s “wisdom” is just about there, so close to what might be right, shiny enough to hook us. It says, “Ah…just a little off. Perfect.”

I don’t want to be a little off. I don’t want to waste time being a little off and have to find my way back.

On the other end is there is Truth/God’s wisdom (and everything in between). God’s wisdom is really obvious (though we may not always like it, because it is hard). Brian pointed us to James 3:17 which says the Wisdom we ought to be crying aloud for is the Wisdom that comes from heaven.

What voices ring the loudest in my ears? Does God’s trump all?

I love that James gives me this measuring stick when it comes to advice (3:17) and how to discern what is godly and what is not:

1. Is it pure? (chaste/modest, clean, innocent)
2. Is it peace-loving? (bringing harmony, agreement, bringing peace with it)
3. Is it considerate?(gentle, fair, just)
4. Is it submissive? (accommodating, obedient, yielding)
5. Is it full of mercy? (kindness, good-will, a desire to help, blessing)
6. Is it something that would lead to good fruit? (productive, of benefit)
7. Is it impartial? (treating something or others equally and without ambiguity, unwavering)
8. Is it sincere? (not hypocritical, genuine)

As I am writing that list I am just so astounded by the wisdom contained in that ONE VERSE. When someone sits down to give me a piece of advice or counsel or correction, I have 8 questions I can hold it up to and see if it is actually godly wisdom I am getting.

This reminds me of something Bill Hybels used to say when someone would approach him with “a word,” especially when that word was about pointing out what he should or should not do:

“Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I will prayerfully take it into consideration and move forward as the Spirit leads me.”

Instead of getting yanked this way and that way by this voice and that voice, we can take anything anyone says, prayerfully take it into consideration, lining that apparent word of wisdom up with a passage like James 3:17 and ask, “does this sound like God’s leading?”

Brian closed the message with a word about submission/yielding fully and I had to think of myself and how I think I am that; I am submitted, I am yielding to God. But I had an image of my life being in the fingertips rather than the whole hand of God. Yes, often I live that way. I am hearing him, I am following him, but sometimes I am just dangling in His care rather than fully in.

There are still many voices that capture my attention more than His. There are still voices that trouble me and trouble me when God’s voice is saying, “Don’t let your heart be troubled.” (John 14:1)

Much could be said about trouble and trusting and listening and living (and certainly that was explored this morning) but, for me today, it all comes down to closing one’s eyes and listening for That Voice:

“Though the Lord gave you adversity for food
and suffering for drink,
he will still be with you to teach you.
You will see your teacher with your own eyes.
Your own ears will hear him.
Right behind you a voice will say,
“This is the way you should go,”
whether to the right or to the left.”

(Isaiah 30:20–21)

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

July 10, 2010

Cabin Fever
(as defined by Google):

”...a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow).”

When do I get a free pass to be annoyed with someone?
* What scenario gives me the right to vent my irritation?
* How “big” does something have to be before it can legitimately become the plot of a drama?

Just askin’.

It just seems that it takes very little to start something; we’re awfully touchy, aren’t we? Push a couple of people together and you end up pushing buttons. There are just “things” about other people that aggravate us, hey? *Right about here, go down and read my p.s. if you like and engage in a little personal inventory before reading on…

I know we are supposed to see each person as incredibly valuable, but often, aren’t people just incredibly irritating? Even people we really, genuinely love spending time with can get on our nerves. Even with those we would take a bullet for, we can become impatient and angry with and find at least a dozen things to pick at.

In the famous “love passage” there is a line that says ”[love] is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Basically, most of us get an F on this because very few of us are not easily angered. I, for one, am not very demonstrative with my anger, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there; that doesn’t mean I am not peeved and slightly less prone to being generous and kind as a result. My attitude, when I am bugged, is toxic and no good can come of it. This I would also like to further comment on, but I will save that for a few paragraphs.

Why am I so easily angered? Why is my list of expectations so inflexible? I know there are some things worth debating, but tell me, what percentage is really worth causing so much drama about?

What is worth going toe-to-toe with someone over? If something rubs us wrong, why can’t we just move on? Proverbs 12:16 says

16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

A wise person doesn’t even go there; a fool won’t let it go.

I think we have some capacity to zip the lip but to “overlook” means to actually fail to see or to pay no attention to at all.

What grates at you? For almost everything that gets under your skin, could it not be resolved with two words: so what? What difference does it make if you feel a little dinged or disappointed or put-out or misunderstood or inconvenienced or crowded. Honestly the scenery of our lives change so fast, so what if some little thing is an irritant to you. So what? Let it go.

Don’t get me wrong, you can’t just shrug everything off, but isn’t there a whole whack of things you could? There is a big difference between fighting for something and fighting over something.

The image in my mind is that of a bomb that could go off – something’s in the mix that could raise the roof – but it requires a detonation wire, and that is what separates the wise person from the fool. Proverbs is saying that a wise and careful person is missing that wiring. The engagement, the explosion, never happens because, with God’s help, it is overlooked; it doesn’t even get lit.

Community.

We say we want to be together, but when we are together we sometimes totally miss the privilege of it. And this is what I want to go back to and conclude with. We are to be a light on a hill but how will we minister to others if we cannot minister to each other? How can we invite others in, if we can’t stand “being in” too long with one-another? There is a time to go off and pray and sort your own head out, but then return and show the world (and fulfill the prayer of Jesus) that we can be One, without cabin fever.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

P.S. Hey kids, here’s a fun game (I say tongue-in-cheek, you must realize). Take some time and write down everything that irritates you about other people (I would encourage you not to use names and under no circumstances should this list appear on Facebook). Afterwords, look at your list and realize how pathetic it is. Spend some time confessing and allowing the Holy Spirit to give you a new heart and a new perspective. Then spend the rest of the week practicing “letting things go.” Let me know how this turns out for you. I have my own assignment.

July 4, 2010

Just digesting Matt’s message today on Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

I found myself asking the question, “Do I fear God?” Matt was saying that there is fear, in terms of respect, but there is also the “terrifying” aspect to God that we have either avoided or misunderstood.

Sometimes I dream of things, events, that run very contrary to my life. For example, I will dream that I have done something that I am horrified about. I love my husband Mike as much as I can love another human being, in my dreams this is true as well; but I have dreamed that I have betrayed the sacred bond of our friendship and the moment I have I am filled with terror over what I have done and I can see the road ahead; it is broken and sad beyond words. I see in Mike’s face everything I never want to see; I see the thing I have done to him. Why, I ask myself, why did I do that?

In real life I am pretty good-natured, but I have dreamed that I have committed a horrible crime; the second I realize that I have stepped over “that line” I am filled with terror over what I have done and all the ramifications of that choice.

When I wake up, all I feel is relief. The terror in the dream was so real, I might as well have done it; but I didn’t and I am so thankful for my real world.

When I think about fear and God, I think about what I have and I think about all I “have to lose.” I think about life without God and I see a vast emptiness that terrifies me. I think of that aloneness. I think of that separation and I can’t get my mind around it. I think of carrying all that I am, the darkness that is my only alternative to living forgiven, and I cannot fathom that. With God, I can imagine being without Him. I see what it is like around me and I think of myself living that way.

I look at God and know I don’t deserve Him. I know that He does not need me, as if I can do some sort of service to convince Him that I am worth keeping in His circle. I see my “good deeds” and think they are works of art, but realize, in the presence of God’s majesty, they are scribbles of crayon; as if He is impressed.

God is not my neighbor. He is not next door to me, like some equal I can visit or ignore. In God’s presence, I am self-aware. I see what the Bible describes as “filthy rags” my sin and my attempts to not appear to be sinful. The fear of God’s perfection is exactly that. I can’t stand before Him and grin about my mistakes, kid around and say, “look what I did.” God has every right to say, “look at the mess you have made!” and turn His face from me.

But I liked what Matt said this morning, the God that we “fear” has the power to save. We have all fallen off a cliff, but mid-air, without doing anything to merit such a rescue, God (out of love) pulls us back. The God who has every right to judge us, which ought to terrify us, holds us and keeps us from destruction because of a love we don’t even have a word for.

I liked the question Matt posed, “are we uncomfortable in his grip?” We hold our children’s hands tightly when something feels precarious, and so does God. We are in a precarious position, so God gives us the desire for God (interesting to think about). In this desire we see how perilously close we came to a lost eternity and this fear drives us towards Him, not away; and He holds us tight within boundaries for our own good.

Ecclesiastes concludes that our whole life’s purpose is to fear God and keep His commands. Yes, I get that. If I keep a healthy fear, if I long to follow God’s ways, I will see His salvation at work in me.

As a parent, I also live in “fear” —don’t get me wrong about the word, I don’t mean worry or anxiety—I mean “absolute seriousness”...I feel dead serious about all of this for my children. I realize they are testing their faith and feeling the constraints of God’s grip and deciding whether they will remain in Him. I get this; and it terrifies me at the same time. Not one thing matters more to me except that they will respond to God, fear Him, follow Him with passion. I want them to understand their precarious position as well and feel the grip of His hand on them, keeping them from falling.

God, may it be so.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 29, 2010

The allure of beauty, in times past, was the promise of it. It was the way a woman walked and talked; the sound of her voice and the choice of her words (which were poetry to the right ear). Beauty was her composure and confidence; the way she moved down the street told a story. It was what others said about her; it was what you heard about her that made her wonderful. It was both what you could see, which only told you so much, and what you could not. She was inaccessible unless you were “the one.” The fact that she had created a boundary that no one would cross (unless they had evil intent) meant she had dignity and make dignified the man who won her heart.

Beauty was not suggestive, it was a suggestion. It was both an invitation and a warning. The invitation said, “I am worth knowing.” The warning said, to quote a modern line, “I am not here for your entertainment.” I am worth chasing after. I am worth your respect. I will add value to your life if you are so fortunate to win me.

Beauty today has lost its magic. Girls think nothing of “putting it all out there” for guys to see – young girls working hard to have cleavage for their facebook shot so that they can look “sexy.” It is so ironic, because by doing so, they have lost the very thing they can control and use to their advantage. By spilling out of their clothes, the only thing they are going to get is lust, and our hearts weren’t designed for that. It is only out of brokenness that we settle for love’s cheap cousin.

Our hearts were designed for the dance; something purer and more intoxicating and in the end, a woman was meant to be treasured, not used.

Proverbs 11:22 says

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”

This is a fantastic description. Who would put something priceless into a pig’s nose. A gold ring, really? Does the pig know it is wearing something so costly? The writer is saying that a woman who lacks the ability to show good judgement in how she carries herself and conducts herself shouldn’t even bother with thinking she has beauty.

True Beauty, on an unwise woman, isn’t the thing you are going to notice. She will waste her good years flaunting herself, so why even be beautiful if she has made herself that available, that viewable? Her beauty is wasted on her. She has something amazing and she doesn’t even know it.

I walk into the stores these days and everything is low cut. I feel for the girls who go shopping because trying to be modest and still fashionable is hard. A v-neck t-shirt is impossible to wear without another layer under it and even that layer often doesn’t make the outfit modest.

They make jeans/shorts that you can’t bend over in without exposing yourself (I don’t get how that is sexy, I really don’t think someone’s crack and half their underwear is sexy – honestly if people could see themselves!) And don’t get me started on older women trying to pull this off. It doesn’t look good on someone who is 20, and it is scary on someone who is older whether you are 100 pounds or not. Women, think about what other people are seeing and spare us. That’s not beauty.

There are a thousand words for beauty but sexy only means “sexually exciting/erotic.” Is that what you want? Do you just want to be known as sexually exciting? If all you have is that, then there is only one thing to discover: Whether you are that exciting or not. Once that is known, there are others more exciting than you.

Honestly, there is only one person like you; would anyone know that by the way you carry yourself?

As for me, there is more to me then that. I have a lot going on in my head and heart that I think is worthwhile knowing. I am 42 and I am “just becoming”—I am just coming into the person I am. I have many sides to me and you haven’t even seen them all yet. I am stirred by so many things, do you want to know what stirs me? Mike, my husband of almost 22 years, have I become boring yet? I think not…

Girls, you are not some animal taking whatever scraps of attention you can get. You are a great beauty, worth your weight in gold; wear it knowing who you are and don’t give yourself away so easily.

You are worth a great pursuit.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

June 28, 2010

Who really means it when they say, “it’s only money.” Wealth, even if one chooses to live simply, is still pretty appealing and, I might add, comforting; to not think about the bill that is rolling around next month would be a relief. I realize there are other stresses around the edges of wealth; maintaining a state of wealth requires industry, after all. Still, if there is a pocket of wealth that one can dip into with quite a lot of reliability, I would say that would bring a certain peace of mind.

But The Book of Proverbs (in the Bible), with its usual candor, says it’s “only wealth.”

“A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.” Proverbs 11:16

This isn’t a “to be wealthy” or “not to be wealthy” kind of proverb. To be kind does not mean you won’t have wealth, but if you are the ruthless type (callous, hard-hearted, unsympathetic, unmerciful, cut-throat…) it is all you will have in the end. Maybe that is good enough for some; maybe “owning” is all they want, along with the shallow companions who trip over themselves to stand next to riches. Maybe.

A kindhearted person gains respect; that is, appreciation, sometimes admiration, followers, many times love or adoration and certainly honor. A kindhearted person is looked up to and what they say is often listened to. A kindhearted person is a pleasure to be with, refreshing others, and receiving the sort of attention due to them.

I have been the recipient of various types of kindness; far more times than I can count. My life has overflowed with simple and sacrificial acts of kindness shown to me by others. People of all ages, wealthy people, and people of little means, those I have known “forever” and some I have barely met, have extended themselves to me in so many kind ways. As I am reflecting on it, I feel privileged to the point of being embarrassed. If not for the danger of leaving someone out, I could effortlessly list 50 people who have been kind to me; and that would just be 2010.

Whether I have wealth or don’t, I can mismanage myself as much as any person who has more or less. I can be as ruthless and stingy, as self-serving or isolated, and definitely as greedy; my desires can be as insatiable; I can be as indifferent and as unconcerned with my $5 as with another’s five million.

I can also be as kindhearted. Isn’t that true? Kindness is kindness no matter if you are penniless or über wealthy. Just stop and think about it: will you only take a complement from someone who has credentials?

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 26, 2010

It takes so little effort to be nice, to be generous, to make a difference in someone’s day.

Yesterday Josh, Nate and a friend spent the afternoon at Two Eagles Golf Course. They had some time to spare and chipped in to buy a bucket of balls to hit at the driving range. When those were done, they were done.

A gentleman approached them, chatted with them for a bit, gave them some tee’s that he had and then, for no reason, bought them another bucket of balls, wished them well, and went on his way.

I say, “for no reason,” but isn’t there one? I don’t know who he was, and I am quite sure he won’t be reading this, but I wonder what happened before he walked over. Did he see the three of them laughing and having a good time—scampering out as far as they dare to grab the nearest balls just to extend their time at the range when their bucket ran dry? Did it remind him of something or someone or just a time when he was their age?

I can’t say for sure, but for some reason he wanted to make their day; and he did.

Why do most of us stand by and observe but not go that extra step to do something nice for a stranger? Are we afraid of being rejected? Are we afraid someone will take it the wrong way or think it strange? Are we too in a rush? Or, worse, do we not even see those opportunities to be kind?

I am just reflecting on this today and wondering what opportunity will present itself.

I think God is so much like that stranger at the golf course. I think He delights in doing things for us, “for no reason” other than it brings him joy to do so. He is the master of “the moment” and, because He is so, I think He prompts us to not miss out on what He finds so delightful.

If we will pause and see what He sees, I think we will find so many ways to touch people’s lives with a little bit of sunshine, for no other reason than they share this earth with us and are of equal importance before God; they are another heart beating; another soul breathing. It should come naturally to us, because ”[We are] God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2: 9 NLT).

On a bad day, a tragic day, those within arms reach quickly become friends. Why not on a good day, a day when nothing much is happening, when there is no immediate need, just an opportunity.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 24, 2010

Aren’t there a lot of things you can do wrong?

This morning I read Proverbs 11:3,

“The integrity of the upright guides them,
but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

“Duplicity” caught my eye so I looked it up to get its exact meaning; it is: deception by pretending to feel and act one way while feeling and acting another (wordcentral.com). Who has not done this? Can you be a human being and not do this?

If one is awestruck by the beauty and complexity of life, one must also be astonished over the incredible webwork of “evil.” I mean, how many ways can we be bad? There is “bad” that is right out there, and then there is the Pandora’s Box of back-room bad, such as this one called duplicity; I doubt it would make the top ten bad things but don’t be fooled, it is as lethal as murder.

Duplicity is acid (the kind that burns your eyes out, not the hallucinogenic). It is the thing that eats away and eventually annihilates trust. It is the “say one thing, think another” evil; it is “the fake”; it is what makes us juggle stories and habits; it is strategic deception. From the most innocent, “I’m fine” when you’re not to the “we’re fine” when you’re about to break something; duplicity misrepresents at every corner.

Little microscopic duplicity; you are a nasty one, aren’t you? You are a game at first—one that requires skill and word-power; and then you are a trip-wire. Why do I live with duplicity? “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do!!!” (Paul, in Romans 7:15). We know what duplicity feels like; it is the scab we keep picking at; the flaw that won’t let us off the hook.

How many things can I do wrong in the short amount of time I have been given? How many ways can I be bad?

Some people say, “I don’t care!” because God’s standard is too high, too impossible to meet. But “I don’t care” is just us giving up; it doesn’t fix anything; it doesn’t make it easier to live with ourselves.

The word that just came to my mind as I am writing this is “reconcile.” When I do my finances and two columns don’t agree with each other (a situation I face frequently), I need to reconcile my statement; I need to get them to agree. Duplicity is when two things are not in agreement with each other; one side is one way, the other side is another.

Jesus, recognizing our duplicity, chose to use that word “reconcile” to describe what He did on the cross. He brought agreement between us and God (we were alienated from God because of our evil behavior) and “now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation…(Colossians 1:21–23). Because of our agreement with God He shows us how to have agreement in our own heart and in how we relate to others.

On our own, we are filled with duplicity, but in Christ we are reconciled.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 22, 2010

You want to know what people seem to be really good at? People are good at picking things apart. People are good at killing an idea before it has a chance. People are good at finding fault and dirt and reasons to dethrone our leaders. People are good at finding what hasn’t been done, over what has. Continually, people look for shortfall and shortcomings and are good at finding them.

People pride themselves on being the “devil’s advocate” and “the watch-dog” and “the opposition.”

Proverbs 11:11 (in the Bible) says “Upright citizens bless a city and make it prosper, but the talk of the wicked tears it apart.”

We have part B down quite well but what about part A?

In the few years I have left, I would like to leave out the “devil” and just be known as an “advocate” for things that matter. Instead of a watch-dog, I would simply like to be watchful and mindful (more of my own steps than any one else’s). Instead of being all about opposing, I would rather be for something. I think this is what I am called to do. I think this is part of missional living.

I would like to bless people around me. I would like to bless my city and see it prosper and, in turn, bless other cities.

I know there is never enough attention being paid to “__________” (fill in the blank). But when I think of my own life and what I don’t give enough attention to, I wonder, am I measuring my leaders by a standard I myself can not meet? I am not saying that leadership does not need accountability, I just thing there should be way more “coming alongside” and less fingers pointing.

I want my city to prosper in the best sense. I would like it to be known as a place people can work and play and be safe. I want it to be a place where its citizens care for the poorest and most vulnerable. I want it to be tended and managed responsibly so that because of our good stewardship we can look at the future with hope and dream about its potential.

A city can be a light on a hill, but it is its citizens that make it so.

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

Afterword: Had the best time on Saturday with people all over West Kelowna coming together to work with Communities In Bloom to clean up garbage at six different sites. From kids to seniors, just a great show of unity. And thanks to CIBC, we were also fed and entertained. One small thing accomplished to bless our city.

June 18, 2010

Nourished.

Isn’t that a great word? It has a green feel to it. Just saying it makes me think of that moment after the rain has stopped and the sun shows its face; the grass and leaves are lacquered and there is that smell of the earth in the air: nourished.

Read Proverbs 10:21 (NIV) this morning:

“The lips of the righteous nourish many…”

Isn’t it amazing what a word can do?

One word inspires; one word deflates.
* One word cries; one infuriates.
* One word enlightens and one confuses.
* One word rescues; one abuses.
* One word vows; one betrays.
* One word go’s; one word stays.

(Hey, just wrote a poem)

The word “nourishes” in the original Hebrew has a rainbow of meanings: shepherds, feeds, cares, becomes a companion for, brings one to pasture and aren’t those all amazing things that one person can do for another?

A word can shepherd or guide a person.
* A word can be like food to the hungry.
* A word becomes care for the lonely.
* Words between two people spell companionship.
* Words guide people to healthier, sweeter places.
* Words change lives.

Every day I have this power to nourish. Out of my mouth I can say something that goes right to the heart of another.

Now I feel so sad; how many words have I wasted? How many words have I misused? How many opportunities have I let slide by?

Every day I can be kind. Every day I can wish a complete stranger well. Every day I can say something powerful to my kids. Every day my words can be a rainfall to someone and by that one simple act I could pour life into their wilting spirit.

You want to talk about power? What power God has given to us to impact “MANY” with one tiny little tool; one thing we all have; one thing we don’t need any training for, any education, any experience, any permission, any appointment. Honestly, it’s like walking around with bags of money that I can give away; and I never run out.

I, the giver, never become poor.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

June 17, 2010

I know the answer to this question, but it irks me: “What makes one person want to damage another person’s reputation?” Of course, I know; it is the thing that is behind all of the dark things we do, but stop and think about it: Why do we want to do this? Why do we want to choose those words, to share that piece of information, for the purpose of making another person look bad?

Publicly, this is called “Slander” (you just put it out there).

Privately, this is called “Gossip” (behind the scenes, a secret slanderer).

From the time we put sentences together, we are cutting each other down. At first they are just simple accusations that may or may not be believable; but we become more skilled at it as we go; we become good at advertising another person’s faults so that others quite blindly buy in; with silver tongues we slay another person.

Who is innocent of this charge? Certainly not me! Haven’t I let just a little more information go than necessary at times? Haven’t I given a conversation a nudge in my favor, at another’s expense?

Behind slander/gossip, anger simmers; behind anger there could be many things: bitterness, fear, frustration, hurt, resentment, embarrassment, shame; any number of poisons that motivate us to take a shot at someone else. We perceive this battle to be good over evil, where we are “good” and the other person isn’t. We want right to win over wrong; and obviously we are right. Even if we aren’t right, we don’t want to lose face; so we draw mustaches on others.

We step back, and in some way we feel good; we feel a little vindicated when someone agrees with our assessment of another; so we try it again.

Proverbs 10:18 in the Bible says, ”...slandering others makes you a fool.” I wish the writer had said more; I have to add the “because.” Slandering others makes you and I a fool because

How we measure others is how we will be measured. As one man used to say, “when you point one finger at others, there are three pointing back at you.”
* The person we slander is a child of God and we are as flawed as he/she
* Slander proves our depravity one more time and we are called to live a nobler life.
* It hurts; and we are to be about healing, not wounding
* If for nothing else, the person who slanders is a slanderer. In the moment it may seem like people want to listen, but ultimately it erodes his own reputation; ah, he becomes a fool.

On Sunday Mike talked about “words” and whether we ought to be asking ourselves more often, “are the words I am about to use necessary.” This is important in so many areas of our life, and particularly when it comes to building up or tearing down other people. Before those words escape: really? Really, do you want to go there?

Psalm 19:14:

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com/)

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