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Attending or Attached?

September 15, 2010

Words matter. The words we use to describe our walk with Jesus and our relationship with His “Bride,” the “Church” matter.

If we say, “I am going to church on Sunday,” is this the way it should be said? That is the way it has been said for eons, but does it really describe what we are doing? And if we say it that way, aren’t we saying that one day we are moving from our home to a building for a specific activity called “church”? We have now glued the church on a spot, and the church was never meant to be stuck. We are also saying that when we get there, that’s church; what happened before we got there, was not.

What about when we say, “I attend” this or that church. What does that say about us? It means to go to something, to be present, and to observe what is occurring there. Attend says nothing about relationship, only about the choice to show up in one place versus another. Now the church seems like an option in the Leisure Guide where you might attend one course this season and another the next. “Attend” has no buy-in, it is simply your name on a list.

Words can mislead; I don’t just mean “mislead” in the sense that they can be unclear, I mean they can literally lead us down the wrong path; as innocent as “Hurry up, we are going to be late for church,” sounds, it is one more example of how “the church” became a thing we show up at, versus a people who who are as connected as the parts of our physical body. Whoever said, “What church do you go to?” probably had good intentions, but those six little words changed the Church.

I am reading Acts right now and it frustrates me. I should be inspired by it, but some days it just bugs me. When chapter 2 verse 44 says, “All the believers were together and had everything in common…” it makes me jealous. When will we mean something like that to each other? When will we stop “going to church” and “attending” on a Sunday and start wanting to be the church with a sincerity of heart and a desire…

Yeah, a desire. A desire to walk together over the long haul, to fix what needs fixing together, to struggle through it and not quit, to come back to the table again and again and again, longing for Jesus to work in us and through us, to fix us and to fix the world.

I have a feeling, a bad gut feeling, that this won’t happen until things get really bad; until we really need each other. Is that what it will take?

Gathering is one of the things “the church” did together. They also devoted themselves to learning and equipping and motivating one another, carrying one another’s burdens and sharing with each other, remembering Christ in the Lord’s Supper and worshiping and encouraging one another, working out conflicts and reconciling, sorting through beliefs and issues; there was a lot going on as they gathered. There was a desire to be together, a need to be together because who knows what the week would bring as the church was out and about in the world, representing Jesus as literally as they could. There was no casual approach to any of it.

Can we be what Acts 2 is describing? Courses and Programming are not going to accomplish this. Structures are not going to accomplish this. It is each individual Christ-follower wanting it and choosing to move from casual observer with no obligations, to sitting at the table and working it out with the group of people we are attaching ourselves to.

Attaching ourselves to; now that has a different ring to it.

I think a lot about this because it is easy for me to pretend to be attached. I am, after all, a “pastor’s wife” (Labels. Don’t get me started). Some could say, “It’s your job.” If this is my job, I quit. I am not kidding. If I am a part of this because I need something to do, I can think of, conservatively, a thousand things to do that don’t involve such close and sometimes painful contact and personal investment.

But it is not a job: “Jesus, this better not be a job!”

I don’t know what all this will mean someday; this attachment. I hope I get it more often than I don’t as I and as we try to be a light on the hill. I can only speak for myself, as all of us only can, about who and what I attached myself to and what was really alive and well in my heart. I wonder how well I will have merged with God’s plan and God’s people? Was I fully the “part” of the Body Christ gifted me to be? And if change is in the air at some point, will it really be God asking me to “detach” in some way and engage somewhere else, or will it be because it would be simpler; less complicated?

There are so many doors available to open. So many doors so easy to shut to get some peace and quiet. “God, help me to stand firm, to not be easily moved out of community. To be fully present in these relationships that you have attached me to, and give me the confidence to know that none of it is in vain.”

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

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Around The Table

September 6, 2010

Today it was a tight squeeze around the lunch table; half the people I knew well, half I knew hardly at all. Mike always asks: “What’s your story?”

I love hearing about people’s journeys as we sit around the table. I love how one person has the floor, sharing something about their “long and winding road” and everyone else listens in. A connection is formed as this person moves from being a stranger to being known; and not just on a “I know your name” basis, but “I know your story” which is completely different.

There are moments when I feel like I am both a participant and an observer. Part of me is sitting in the circle and part of me feels a tap on my shoulder and a whisper that asks, “Do you see it?”

I do. I saw it today as we moved towards one another, as we heard honest words, vulnerable and sometimes painful words; as credit was given to God for being a life-saver. Would any of us find each other, naturally? Children, adults, young adults, seniors, parents, singles; what do we have in common except this thirst to know Christ and to walk a narrow road in a big wide world? He threads us together, as diverse as we are, into a Body; and the invitation is always open. I saw that again today.

It is easy to lose sight of this, but around the table, in my heart today I heard that whisper again, “Do you see it?” Did I see how Jesus fishes people out of self-destruction; mending us and setting us upright?

You’re right Lord, She is lovely, this Bride, this idea of yours. It is lovely when strangers aren’t strangers because of what You have done. It is lovely when we can admit broken things, without shame because You redeem it all. All. You make it lovely; You put on our heads “a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isiaah 61:3)

– Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.org)

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Isolation/Insulation

July 19, 2010

Isolation/Insulation
19 07 2010

Dear Matt, I am trying to respond to the Message that you gave yesterday; I have had a few false starts. It is really hard to talk about Proverbs 18:1 and, specifically, the topic of isolation without it sounding like

a) I am ranting

b) I am complaining

c) I am justifying

d) All of the above.

What I realized as I was chewing on this topic was that isolation has an ENORMOUS appeal. Isolation doesn’t mean I have to be some social-outcast, after all; it just means I get to be choosy. Isolation means I can hand-pick, right? “Isolate” the variables so that what I am left with, fits; fits me exactly.Yes, I like that.

People use other words for isolate (no one is going to say, “we have chosen to isolate ourselves” or “isolate you out of our life”) but the end result is the same. Isolating means I get to single-out those things I want and leave everything else, to someone else. Isolating is a dash towards more pleasant pastures so that whatever is unpleasant can’t really touch me (distance does that). Isolation can feel as if I am getting my life back: If I can choose, I hold the cards, I control the play.

Also, Isolation sounds a lot like insulation which sounds warm and safe; a barrier. I have window shopped there (Barriers-R-Us) and oh, some of those walls are so appealing: 2 foot ones, 3 foot ones, 10 foot ones, whatever I need! I have wondered if I can follow Christ and serve people but not care; you know, not let it bore down into my heart so much. I am wondering if those barriers would protect that vulnerable side of me and maybe I would sustain less bruises? Ah, there I go again about me; you are right about isolation being about fulfilling my own desires versus Christ’s, but “me” feels things and some of those things I am pretty tired of feeling.

In times of solitude (a different thing from isolation), finding what I believe in again, isolation comes and sits with me and lists off its benefits. Isolation is slick; it always, always nudges me away, towards an exit. Isolation removes itself; excuses itself with excuses. Several times a week, isolation plays its violin outside my window and I give it a nod.

Matt, you said, “I need to be for you, and you need to be for me;” stuck together somehow in this handshake called “community”. I must acknowledge that isolation follows the laws of gravity (a law I understand), whereas Community is a lofty idea that is harder to grasp. It is so like Jesus to ask us to do something upside down, once again. None of anything Jesus asked us to do involves us being isolated (from brother or friend). Any sort of solitude is only so we can get our head screwed back on so that we can jump right back into the multitude that Jesus had compassion for; the unruly, unmanageable multitude; that one.

“Being with” and “walking with” can be heartbreaking, humiliating and just plain hard. Who would sign up for this? But I did. I didn’t just sign up for Jesus without saying I would follow Him, and I didn’t say I would loosely follow Him; I said I would be a part of the group; that I would throw myself into the mix to affect the world. I didn’t tell Him what I would be willing to do, just that I was willing.

So yeah, bummer, I have had some things ripped off of me along the way as a result. I will not pretend it is fun or funny or pleasant in any way. I don’t always love community; especially not when it is prickly. But I love Jesus and in His defense, whatever pain I have experienced by “being with” people, God has made good of it (or is in the process of).

The service ended with communion and I really loved how you drew this message into that act. In communion we symbolically acknowledge our non-isolation. Jesus, you did not isolate yourself from me, and as I take the bread and cup, I am saying to you that I am not isolating myself from you; and by taking it with my brothers and sisters, we are saying we are all committed to end isolation and live integrated lives.

Integrate: to form or unite into a larger unit; to end the segregation; to find commonness and accept each other as equals.

– Teresa Klassen (http://www.onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

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Oh The Drama!

July 10, 2010

Cabin Fever
(as defined by Google):

”...a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow).”

  • When do I get a free pass to be annoyed with someone?
    * What scenario gives me the right to vent my irritation?
    * How “big” does something have to be before it can legitimately become the plot of a drama?

Just askin’.

It just seems that it takes very little to start something; we’re awfully touchy, aren’t we? Push a couple of people together and you end up pushing buttons. There are just “things” about other people that aggravate us, hey? *Right about here, go down and read my p.s. if you like and engage in a little personal inventory before reading on…

I know we are supposed to see each person as incredibly valuable, but often, aren’t people just incredibly irritating? Even people we really, genuinely love spending time with can get on our nerves. Even with those we would take a bullet for, we can become impatient and angry with and find at least a dozen things to pick at.

In the famous “love passage” there is a line that says ”[love] is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Basically, most of us get an F on this because very few of us are not easily angered. I, for one, am not very demonstrative with my anger, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there; that doesn’t mean I am not peeved and slightly less prone to being generous and kind as a result. My attitude, when I am bugged, is toxic and no good can come of it. This I would also like to further comment on, but I will save that for a few paragraphs.

Why am I so easily angered? Why is my list of expectations so inflexible? I know there are some things worth debating, but tell me, what percentage is really worth causing so much drama about?

What is worth going toe-to-toe with someone over? If something rubs us wrong, why can’t we just move on? Proverbs 12:16 says

16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

A wise person doesn’t even go there; a fool won’t let it go.

I think we have some capacity to zip the lip but to “overlook” means to actually fail to see or to pay no attention to at all.

What grates at you? For almost everything that gets under your skin, could it not be resolved with two words: so what? What difference does it make if you feel a little dinged or disappointed or put-out or misunderstood or inconvenienced or crowded. Honestly the scenery of our lives change so fast, so what if some little thing is an irritant to you. So what? Let it go.

Don’t get me wrong, you can’t just shrug everything off, but isn’t there a whole whack of things you could? There is a big difference between fighting for something and fighting over something.

The image in my mind is that of a bomb that could go off – something’s in the mix that could raise the roof – but it requires a detonation wire, and that is what separates the wise person from the fool. Proverbs is saying that a wise and careful person is missing that wiring. The engagement, the explosion, never happens because, with God’s help, it is overlooked; it doesn’t even get lit.

Community.

We say we want to be together, but when we are together we sometimes totally miss the privilege of it. And this is what I want to go back to and conclude with. We are to be a light on a hill but how will we minister to others if we cannot minister to each other? How can we invite others in, if we can’t stand “being in” too long with one-another? There is a time to go off and pray and sort your own head out, but then return and show the world (and fulfill the prayer of Jesus) that we can be One, without cabin fever.

—Teresa Klassen (http://onebrownleaf.wordpress.com)

P.S. Hey kids, here’s a fun game (I say tongue-in-cheek, you must realize). Take some time and write down everything that irritates you about other people (I would encourage you not to use names and under no circumstances should this list appear on Facebook). Afterwords, look at your list and realize how pathetic it is. Spend some time confessing and allowing the Holy Spirit to give you a new heart and a new perspective. Then spend the rest of the week practicing “letting things go.” Let me know how this turns out for you. I have my own assignment.

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